Muskets and Machine Guns

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In this extraordinary life we find ourselves and on this endlessly mysterious, riveting, and dazzling planet we call home, we can often recognize similarities, patterns between different events, different objects, different species and humans if we observe closely in earnest. If we observe it equitably and honestly.

For example, the musket or flintlock, as Wikipedia explains, “is a muzzle-loaded, smoothbore long gun that appeared in early 16th century Europe, at first as a heavier variant of the arquebus, capable of penetrating heavy armor.“ For some time the musket was the common weapon in use. Other than cannons and mortars they served pretty well their intended designed purpose. However, by the time the 19th-century approached they were quickly becoming obsolete. Their rate-of-fire simply could not keep up with repeating rifles, followed decades later by the faster, more sophisticated, more lethal machine guns. The musket had become a dinosaur on the fields of battle.

The machine gun, unlike the antiquated slow-loaded musket, could fire at a rate of 300 rounds per minute or higher. During World War II Mauser Werke manufactured one of the most feared machine guns Allied forces had ever faced to date, the MG-42 which could fire an average of 1,200 rounds per minute. For the two World Wars and beyond, the machine gun completely revolutionized modern warfare and tactics.

And then BOOM, it hit me! This history is also profoundly representative of another dynamic, another similar relationship.

Men’s penises and their performance are just like muskets! They are pretty much single fire until “hours” later, muzzle-loaded after some gun-powder (air-pumping? surgery? drugs?), and unless updated or refined, kept impeccably (not pecker you pervs!) maintained, then highly and properly trained, they are pretty much outdated, limp, and with a very shitty rate-of-fire.

Women’s sexual organs are quite sophisticated, quite advanced, with more than one arousal-barrel/spot and have a most IMPRESSIVE (and lethal?) rate-of-fire. Women are truly a beautiful work of art (not machinery) that honestly puts us musket-carrying Neanderthals to shame. There’s simply no denying it gentlemen. Sorry. This is why they are truly Earth’s most mesmerizing, most needed creatures. And looking back over history and how utterly crappy we males have progressed and developed, the women deserve so much MORE than just equality and unfettered respect.

Besides, guys… come on! We have muskets, they have machine guns for f*ck sake. 🙄

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Live Well — Love Much — Respect Her Lethality — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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39 thoughts on “Muskets and Machine Guns”

  1. An intriguing metaphor. One could argue that each category of weapon seems well suited to fulfill the needs of those who carry it. A more substantial problem with the humble phallus is that its functioning requires a chemical which has a variety of toxic effects (testosterone).

    I hope you don’t plan to follow up this post with a call for disarmament. I suspect support would hover around zero.

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  2. For argument’s sake (no, I’m not being serious – just had too much coffee today – lol!)…

    The smoothbore musket was actually replaced by the rifled musket which greatly improved accuracy and range. The bulky and temperamental early machine guns did not replace infantry rifles, but rather served as heavy support weapons such as the Gatling Gun. Single-shot, muzzle-loaded rifled muskets soon developed into magazine-fed breach-loaders (i.e. repeating rifles) followed by semi-automatic rifles, machine pistols, and finally into today’s assault weapons.

    If the object of sex is to attain orgasm for oneself, then I’d much rather have a reliable bolt-action rifle with a slower rate of fire than an unwieldy machine gun (though fun to fire) that is prone to jamming and overheating; and, they’re cheaper too. But, that’s just me. 😀

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    • Hahahaha! 😆 Ummm, Robert…

      I’m gonna have to ponder and consider for a bit just what response I want to (should?) make to your fine technical specs, history, and review of weaponry function. And I wonder if a woman would choose a “reliable bolt-action rifle with a slower rate of fire“? Overheating and jamming and cheap — that certainly applies to MANY MAN-MADE things and machine guns, no doubt. But I know it doesn’t apply across the board with female sexual anatomy. 😉 Although, “overheating” I have found in many cases… to be… ummm, no issue whatsoever!!!

      I guess this/these dynamics and comparisons have many viewpoints, huh? 😛

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    • If the object of sex is to attain orgasm for oneself

      Ah, but this is one of those situations where the greatest possible intensity of return fire is essential to the exhilaration of battle. It behooves us all to develop the best possible understanding of the adversary’s weaponry — of whatever type.

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      • HAH!!! Wiser words have never been spoken! At least not by the 2-3 misogynists I’ve had here in the past commenting. 😉 Even George S. Patton knew this when he was commanded to stop Erwin Rommel. Maybe this is why our orange orangutan in the White House loves and kisses up to Vlad Putin and Kim Jong-un, but is utterly CLUELESS when it comes to his own domestic opposition, news agencies, or his 3 wives.

        But Infidel, in all seriousness, though the 1-on-1 relationships certainly aren’t (or shouldn’t be) a field of harmful conflict (mentally emotionally challenging is fine), knowing your partner(s) assets and excitable points can do nothing but enhance the moments, making phenomenal memories! We just have to embrace our natural inferiority when it comes to sexual organs — other than the brain/sapiosexual — we really have very little to offer… in competition OR complimentary, in my humble opinion. LOL 😉

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      • Oh, yes! I was once immersed in the exhilaration of battle! I exchanged fire with adversaries most intensely! I studied their weaponry exhaustively, and explored ways of maximizing the potency of my rifle. It was glorious!

        But, it was also tiring. As the years piled on, I found the thrill of victory wasn’t so thrilling anymore. Like that famous line from the movie Patton I realized that “all glory is fleeting.”

        Now, I just play peacefully with my rifle. 🙂

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  5. Professor if I may be a bit crude for a moment. I recently heard a comedian talk about the female sex organ. The idea was basically why do people call what they think are fragile things “pussy” when a vigaina can take a far greater pounding and get enjoyment out of it than a penis or balls ever could withstand. Thinking on it, I now realize I am in far more respect for that female body part than ever before. Hugs

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    • Well, I can’t speak with 100% accuracy without the context of this comedian’s show, but WOW! Talk about getting super edgy there and too sexist, that pushes the envelope — again, without knowing the show/context.

      That said, having been in the SSC BDSM lifestyle for 29-years, BOTH gendered genitals are capable of some extremes as well as super tender, soft methods. It’s a wide spectrum. In our lifestyle an unspoken (sometimes spoken) expectation is Why not experience physically, mentally, emotionally, metaphysically(?) — within a very safe, non-judgmental, and consensual environment — everything possible? You’ll never know if you never try… two, four, six different times. 😁

      Your comedian, if I had to guess based on the typical vanilla male, really doesn’t know much of what he is joking about. Or he could perhaps learn a LOT MORE! LOL 😉

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      • OK, now I am both in admiration and clenching my legs together in anticipated pains. Not sure I can quite wrap my mind around that. But then again, never knock it until you try it, right? Be well. Hugs

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        • Well Scottie, I do appreciate (admire) your willingness to at least imagine possibilities. That’s a start and just fine. I would also tell you that from a former collegiate, pro, and semi-pro athlete that a person shouldn’t go hardcore right into intense, advanced(?), extreme “workouts” from the get go. The body NEEDS time to adjust to intensity levels. Another analogy might be our educations, elementary students cannot be expected to manage 11th or 12th grade curriculums. Our human bodies and minds NEED time to adapt, strengthen, perfect, and learn best methods, best approaches. This is a concept many outside of the lifestyle fail to understand, or are not informed about, or WORSE… illegitmate, fraudulent, self-proclaimed male “Doms” do not practice — which is why they typically get banned or highly monitored and put on probation in our communities/dungeons. A very short-leash I assure you.

          Not knocking it until you try it is indeed true Scottie, but to be fair it isn’t everyone’s cup-o-tea. I just get very annoyed when the lifestyle is GROSSLY misrepresented or hated by those who know nothing about it. Ironically, that includes the (in)famous E.L. James who has never been inside a dungeon/community, much less actually DONE anything she’s written about. She’s been a HUGE detriment to our Lifestyle with her (fictional) unequivocal abuse by the main male character. 😡 But she does it for the money and popularity, right?

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    • Hahahahaha! Thank you John, but I’ve learned the hard (or is that correct? No. :/ ) and LIMP ways… and some of those times a red-flag simply came out the end of the muzzle saying “Pop?” 😛 When I began to take her/them VERY seriously it became quickly obvious I could only HOPE to be in the same league as her/them if I improved in all possible OTHER areas other than my damn tally-wacker. It’s humbling John, it’s real humbling and eventually… I/we become SORTA maybe(?) their equal in this department. 😄

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  9. For the love of Priapus! What an interesting metaphor you’ve presented. It certainly tacked in that direction very unexpectedly and more quickly than I realised when I commenced reading (perhaps the muppets dictated my expectation…cackle!). When it did, I felt like I had been hit by weapons fire…cackle squared!). I look forward to the next instalment: the one that likens our reproductive organs to the weapons employed in “Star Trek.” xx

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