Baby, I So Got This!

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I fear no Kryptonite!

I fear no Kryptonite!

“Girlfriend’s Liability Release Clause:  Terms of male service are subject to change or fail miserably when the male brain-fart is prevalent and unavoidable.

There is a widely used misconception by “High-Testosterone” heterosexual Alpha males that they will perform euphoric miracles with their spouse/significant-other, if she allowed another woman to join them in the bed.  These men (myself included) will greatly OVER-SHOOT expectations if she allows more than another woman but also — in his wild dream-state — 2 or 3 more hot women to join… knowing this one-in-a-million opportunity may never present itself again!  I have fallen into this self-designed trap before.

After my partner gave me two explicit directions of how to please her, as well as the other women so that everybody has a memorable time, I assured her “Baby, I so got this.

Little did I know that what I had been told many times throughout my High-T life — that men’s blood flows in only one direction — was so embarrassingly true.  As the heat of the moment increased, my brain cells were drained of blood by one single selfish organ, and I couldn’t remember, much less focus on, what I was supposed to do when everyone’s clothes came off.  After some time the women were whispering to each other a little frustrated “Can we get rid of the guy?

homer-dohLiability Release Clause kicks in….brain-farting by said male is in early onset!

The moral of this High-T brain-dead moment?

Men, our own fantasies are rarely based in reality:  we are not the best multi-taskers contrary to our sometimes rather large egos, even when we are given a simple directional map drawn in crayons by our hopeful, patient, loving spouses/SO’s.  Delusions of grandeur get the best of us.

The women are the Queens of multi-tasking, hands down.

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7 thoughts on “Baby, I So Got This!

  1. Oh you nailed it! Literally. On the head. We have had this very discussion as recently as today. I just love the way you write. Thank you for this comic relief to a somewhat touchy subject. Xoxoxoxoxo A/s

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  2. Loved this! On a serious note, I have a male friend who allowed another woman into his marital bed and guess what? The wife divorced him and started a relationship with the other woman. Men, be careful what you ask for. LOL

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    • Thank you for stopping by Liberty; please visit again! Yes, you’re indeed correct. I’ve learned the REAL meaning now of “ALWAYS look a gift horse in the mouth!” because whoever invented the original phrase was a moron with little to no knowledge of the male anatomy! 😛

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  3. Upward blood flow. Hmmmm. When exactly does that happen? I think men are well adjusted to “brainwork with less blood flow!” lol! Your perspective definitely produced a chuckle. And…word to the wise…one woman at a time. We are WAY too complicated for your blood starved cranuims!

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    • Ah, I will take your suggestion under advisement Dr. Tricia, M.D. of neurosurgery. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go do my nightly exercise of standing-on-my-head for half an hour….so I run the blood the “other” direction. 😛

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