A brief interruption of my current, “serious” blog-series to get a little more… human. Natural.
∼ ∼ ∼ § ∼ ∼ ∼
It is very simple. And you’ll never understand if you don’t get out and swim in the marrow of life.
There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far, over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he
And then one day,
A magic day he passed my way
While we spoke of many things
Fools and Kings
This he said to me
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return. — Eden Ahbez
————
Live Well — Laugh Often — Love Much — Learn Always
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Completely off topic …. but I prefer Benson’s version of this song.
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Haha… ahh, yes. The very disco-ee, sultry, Marvin Gaye-esque version by George Benson. Acceptable choice. 😉
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Nat King Cole was a marvelous pianist too, but much Benson, it was his Matinee Style looks and voice that shot him to prominence.
I saw Benson ( with Al Jarreau) a few years back when he played here.
Marvelous show.
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-shocked- I like George Benson but…this is a classic Nat King Cole song!
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I agree, Nat has it nailed!
– Esme nodding upon the Cloud
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High Five 🙂
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Hey you two, can I get in on some of this nailing and high-fiving!? 😁
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Who doesn’t wanna be loved, right? Nice song. 😍
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A true and valid question Ragazza. 🤩
Unfortunately, from my work years in Psych/A&D rehab and therapy, remarkably there are indeed some people who don’t wanna be loved, or worse, don’t know how to be loved or to love. Those are of course trans-generational or familial cases (chains). Good news? They can be changed and broken! ❤
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That’s tragic and scary at the same time if I must say. 😱😱😱
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Agreed, but what we/they sometimes need reminding of — like Will Hunting in the movie-clip — is that there are solutions. There ARE humans who care, who help, and in various unique ways… love. I try to do both, be both.
Now, PLEASE do not talk to my therapists! They may or may not explain correctly MY methods…
…as a patient and/or therapist. HAH! 😎
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I’d like to think that I am both. Haha. Haays. The world is unfair indeed.
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It is daunting as well as spectacular! Sharing it — like young kids with that innocent curiosity — makes it thrilling, hilarious, and easier. 🤪
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I think what we can learn about the Professor’s experience here is that love is a learned ability. I know that sounds weird to say, but I sat in a colleague’s course on Love, Lust, and Attachment. It was fascinating. We all have the biological ability to feel love, but as to what love is, this is learned. We learn about love through our parents (or whatever adults who are around us the most). So a husband who beats his wife…well from a child’s perspective this will define love for them. That love means being kind some of the time, but having a firm hand when the woman gets out of line. This is what is really tragic. I imagine people that don’t want to be loved are ones who have a broken view of what love is, and thus they’ve experienced so much pain because they don’t know how to recognize someone who loves well. They have trouble recognizing actual kindness, or have trouble recognizing the difference between someone who is genuinely kind or someone who is faking it.
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That is a poignant and excellent elaboration Swarn. Thank you! I am VERY curious about more details of that class on Love, Lust, and Attachment. Want to share some of the highlights as well as the shockers? Please!? 😍 Or perhaps write a blog-post about it yourself?
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Ha…it’s been a few years now. I don’t know there was anything that shocking. I think the things that I found most fascinating were what I just shared. And then there were two other things that struck me. One is that most relationship models are static models and thus don’t really work given that humans are dynamic. So that was cool. The other thing we looked at was the biological basis for Love, Lust and Attachment. Thus far there is a lot of consensus for sex drive and attachment (whether friendship, or family bonding) as being biological in origin, but there is debate about romantic love. Some scientists see it as a tool that is used to build attachment, while other do think it’s biological in it’s relation to mate selection. I used to lean towards the former explanation, but given on what I’ve learn more recently on mate selection in species, I’m inclined to think that there is some biological basis to romantic love.
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I wonder how believers separate biological love with spiritual love … ?
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In talking to some of them, their relationship with God or Jesus is just as real than any relationship with a physical being. I imagine their biological systems have simply been hacked.
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Completely agree Swarn. But BEWARE! Be CAUTIOUS! When one allows the jungle into your bedroom, it becomes wild(er?) and difficult to take the jungle back out. Romantic erotic love is to be properly… umm, what’s the Victorian word I’m hunting(?)…
tempered!
The unleashing of the biological could have human nature running amok! Someone might put an eye out! 😈🤭
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Hey that’s not always true…have you looked at mating rituals for some birds. They got romance up the wazoo without all the violence!
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Ahh, yes. Those Birds of Paradise can win ANY dance-off we humans can put on the tele or stage. Hahaha! 😛 😉 And don’t forget the renown Pepe Le Pew!
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Professor we wanted to see what would happen if we let the “animal inside us come out in the bedroom”. Boy was that some night. Turned out our animal spirits were sloths and we slept right through everything! 😜😄😃😂🤦♂️🤦♂️Hugs
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😆 HAH! Sloths work! They’re so graceful and patient. And I think the “animals” inside us rotate from room to room and week to week. According to the renown animologist Dr. Fisher-Price, when you “pull the string” just right on the doctor’s household Animal-Spectrometer you find out the animal of the week in the room, THEN act like and talk to each other like that animal! It’s very popular and does wonders for relational bonding! 🤩
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‘And don’t forget the renown Pepe Le Pew!’
Well, no-one is likely to with you around.
Hahahahahaha
– Esme pegging it fast like a black and white cat off the Cloud
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Hahahaha! And then as the whooshy wind blows by and dishevels my top hat…
“Hey! Where’d that light-footed, smitten-stirrin’ heart-thumpin’ Dame dash off to so fast!? I had a special somethin’ for that Lass!” 😍
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Nice reminders of the best in life. Thanks Boss
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You’re welcome Sir. And you often remind us too… so I thank you as well. 😉
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A post of worthy thoughts. Grand work Professor. Hugs
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Thank you Scottie. I sometimes embarrass my kids with my words of wisdom about being human, being equal, being natural… like this one:
“In the end we ALL sit on the toilet the same way for the same reason.” 😁
Let’s treat each other like family.
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Great post professor
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Ahh, thank you kindly Jonathan. It never hurts to remind one’s self to get out there, get your hands and fingers dirty, skin-up the elbows and knees… and LIVE! The painful lessons of bold vulnerability forces us to DEEPLY appreciate those little moments, those finest moments of pure joy and belonging. 🙂
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