Being Natural

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A brief interruption of my current, “serious” blog-series to get a little more… human. Natural.

∼ ∼ ∼ § ∼ ∼ ∼

It is very simple. And you’ll never understand if you don’t get out and swim in the marrow of life.

There was a boy
A very strange, enchanted boy
They say he wandered very far
Very far, over land and sea
A little shy and sad of eye
But very wise was he

And then one day,
A magic day he passed my way
While we spoke of many things
Fools and Kings
This he said to me

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return. — Eden Ahbez

————

Live Well — Laugh Often — Love Much — Learn Always

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31 thoughts on “Being Natural”

    • A true and valid question Ragazza. 🤩

      Unfortunately, from my work years in Psych/A&D rehab and therapy, remarkably there are indeed some people who don’t wanna be loved, or worse, don’t know how to be loved or to love. Those are of course trans-generational or familial cases (chains). Good news? They can be changed and broken! ❤

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        • Agreed, but what we/they sometimes need reminding of — like Will Hunting in the movie-clip — is that there are solutions. There ARE humans who care, who help, and in various unique ways… love. I try to do both, be both.

          Now, PLEASE do not talk to my therapists! They may or may not explain correctly MY methods…

          …as a patient and/or therapist. HAH! 😎

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        • I think what we can learn about the Professor’s experience here is that love is a learned ability. I know that sounds weird to say, but I sat in a colleague’s course on Love, Lust, and Attachment. It was fascinating. We all have the biological ability to feel love, but as to what love is, this is learned. We learn about love through our parents (or whatever adults who are around us the most). So a husband who beats his wife…well from a child’s perspective this will define love for them. That love means being kind some of the time, but having a firm hand when the woman gets out of line. This is what is really tragic. I imagine people that don’t want to be loved are ones who have a broken view of what love is, and thus they’ve experienced so much pain because they don’t know how to recognize someone who loves well. They have trouble recognizing actual kindness, or have trouble recognizing the difference between someone who is genuinely kind or someone who is faking it.

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          • That is a poignant and excellent elaboration Swarn. Thank you! I am VERY curious about more details of that class on Love, Lust, and Attachment. Want to share some of the highlights as well as the shockers? Please!? 😍 Or perhaps write a blog-post about it yourself?

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            • Ha…it’s been a few years now. I don’t know there was anything that shocking. I think the things that I found most fascinating were what I just shared. And then there were two other things that struck me. One is that most relationship models are static models and thus don’t really work given that humans are dynamic. So that was cool. The other thing we looked at was the biological basis for Love, Lust and Attachment. Thus far there is a lot of consensus for sex drive and attachment (whether friendship, or family bonding) as being biological in origin, but there is debate about romantic love. Some scientists see it as a tool that is used to build attachment, while other do think it’s biological in it’s relation to mate selection. I used to lean towards the former explanation, but given on what I’ve learn more recently on mate selection in species, I’m inclined to think that there is some biological basis to romantic love.

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            • In talking to some of them, their relationship with God or Jesus is just as real than any relationship with a physical being. I imagine their biological systems have simply been hacked.

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            • I’m inclined to think that there is some biological basis to romantic love.

              Completely agree Swarn. But BEWARE! Be CAUTIOUS! When one allows the jungle into your bedroom, it becomes wild(er?) and difficult to take the jungle back out. Romantic erotic love is to be properly… umm, what’s the Victorian word I’m hunting(?)…

              tempered!

              The unleashing of the biological could have human nature running amok! Someone might put an eye out! 😈🤭

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            • Professor we wanted to see what would happen if we let the “animal inside us come out in the bedroom”. Boy was that some night. Turned out our animal spirits were sloths and we slept right through everything! 😜😄😃😂🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️Hugs

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            • 😆 HAH! Sloths work! They’re so graceful and patient. And I think the “animals” inside us rotate from room to room and week to week. According to the renown animologist Dr. Fisher-Price, when you “pull the string” just right on the doctor’s household Animal-Spectrometer you find out the animal of the week in the room, THEN act like and talk to each other like that animal! It’s very popular and does wonders for relational bonding! 🤩

              Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Scottie. I sometimes embarrass my kids with my words of wisdom about being human, being equal, being natural… like this one:

      “In the end we ALL sit on the toilet the same way for the same reason.” 😁

      Let’s treat each other like family.

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    • Ahh, thank you kindly Jonathan. It never hurts to remind one’s self to get out there, get your hands and fingers dirty, skin-up the elbows and knees… and LIVE! The painful lessons of bold vulnerability forces us to DEEPLY appreciate those little moments, those finest moments of pure joy and belonging. 🙂

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