Oldest Profession in History

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This will (hopefully?) be one of my shortest blog-posts in a long while. Yeah, yeah, I can hear some of my regular Followers laughing, Pffft-ing, rolling their eyes, and tossing bouquets of flowers to me on stage for my acting/writing performance of not just lying through my teeth, but flowering me about my illusions of grandeur thinking I could actually write a brief, quick blog-post. Touché. You might win. But I’m going to try. Show your kind approval and praise if I pull it off, will ya? 😉

Yesterday evening I put in a pickup order at a nearby taco-texmex restaurant that is literally 130-yards away from my complex. It’s quick and easy. It’s also a fairly popular mid-range, affordable, family restaurant chain. I was about 5-10 minutes early picking up my dinner (6:00pm). While waiting at the counter, grabbing some lime-wedges to go with my delicious Modelo Negra beers at the self-serve drinks, ice, straws, napkins, etc, wall a STUNNING curly-haired blonde, hair up in a twisty, tight black shorts, summer cork heels, and tight black halter-top, no bra because she was quite endowed and full in the bust-size… walked by, out the front door, past the two gentlemen outside with their survey-stand—for the restaurant or the strip-mall, I wasn’t sure—who couldn’t stop gawking at her as she went by and stepped into her parked navy blue or black Jeep Cherokee for something. I thought she was leaving.

Nope, after about 30-40 seconds she got out and walked back into the restaurant, by the two men again, and down the long walkway in the middle of booths/tables, and to the back near and across from the men’s and women’s restrooms. She rejoined her equally stunning dark brunette lady-friend(?) or dinner companion. She stood up, my breathing paused, and was wearing a skin-tight workout, black with blue accents (in “key places”) shorts and spandex top, also accentuating her model-esque voluptuous physique. Yes, needless to say OR to expound upon they were both hubba-hubba. Your powers of deduction are correct reading what I’m explicitly and implicitly saying and can continue on your own! I mean, everyone in the restaurant would watch them as they moved around, especially the men, much longer than the women inside, patrons or staff. I tried to not be obvious. HAH!

Within 1-2 minutes of those Lookers rejoining each other at their back booth, a young man, say late twenties, early thirties in a tight workout tank-top showing off his finely sculpted neck, shoulders, biceps, triceps, tatted-up, and most likely well-defined abs underneath walked across the entire glass window-front of the taco eatery, pulled open the door and entered. I thought to myself as I watched him, “Is there a gym, yoga, boxing club in this strip-mall?“ No, of course not. The entire strip-mall, every single place of business was already leased. Has been for a long time. Then, instead of walking through the ordering or pickup line as I had done, that very buffed man, glued to his cell-phone as he walked by outside and now inside… went straight to the back where the two super hawt women were sitting. They began to chat, quietly, as if they had been friends for years.

Ahhh, then it all clicked. Everything made sense.

I chuckled at myself and did a mental pat-on-my-back for NOT being glaringly obvious I was taken by and intrigued(?) by the blonde I had seen first. Okay, VERY intrigued. When I was in my youth, I would have been a very gullible, horny Neanderthal boy. I readily admit it. But many life-lessons of love and eros—often not simultaneously I should confess—have since paid off for me. Saved me in some instances. Plus, at my heightened age and wisdom now, I have learned and mastered my healthy, jacked-up blood-flow that once emptied my cranium and flooded south, engorging my groins, thus incapacitating my broader, smarter, more patient cerebral cortex while ignoring the opposite, more primal creative fun cortex, which seemed to be way south. Today, these random encounters of thick eros oozing everywhere, no longer have the kryptonite impact on me they once possessed. It all strokes my ego a tiny bit, makes me proud of my maturity and wisdom presently! It’s damn near foolproof—but I’ve also learned “Never say never.“

As I walked out of the restaurant with my food and beers back to my residential complex, one of the earlier gentlemen outside the door there (in his 40’s or so) looked at me, I acknowledged him chuckling and said:

“I’ve rarely witnessed “female solicitation” that was so blatant, let alone when their “business manager” walks in and doesn’t bother to be discreet, glued to his phone, and sits with his two staffers, workers, I’ll say Courtesans, and all three of them pretend they own the restaurant.”

The surveyor gentleman replied “Yeah, blatant for sure, huh? It’s the oldest profession in history.“

I laughed in agreement and returned a similar sentiment:

“Yep, and not that I have ever thought prostitution should be illegal. It shouldn’t at all! One way or another, we all pay for what we want; monetarily and otherwise.”

He laughed and we parted ways. I heard him say from around the corner “Ain’t that true!“

Here’s my rub on life’s most ancient profession—the genders, orientations today don’t matter. Many people are more than willing to throw down loads of cash, credit, assets, emotional investment, whatever it is for that long-term, mid-term, or short-term feeling, dopamine fix all the time. Neurologically human nature will not change for many a millenia. But today, in a conservative, semi-pious or hyper-uptight pious society? There are pros and cons any way you examine it.

Legally, under our county/state marriages and family law, it costs us an insane amount, much more on all levels than you could imagine!!! That might be just fine, but it doesn’t disprove my intimate understanding of human eros and love. Some romantic relationships are great investments with very acceptable ROI’s. Others? Eh, not so much. And some are down right horrific, nasty, and disastrous in divorce court—children aside or not. Am I right or am I very right? Perhaps it is time for human society to evolve more? Be stronger and know we can learn from mistakes of the heart, mind, and the libido, huh? 😉 😛

I welcome any and all feedback, as usual. Just remember, good etiquette and be a little open-minded. A GREAT sense of humor is most definitely encouraged!

Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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14 thoughts on “Oldest Profession in History”

  1. There have been days where the monetary cost would have been preferable to the emotional cost…

    I have to admit, I’d have been sneaking a look or two in your situation, but I also have to admit, I sometimes don’t put 2 and 2 together right away, and walk around blissfully ignorant. But blissfully ignorant usually means I’m busy thinking on other things that need thinking about.

    Although, I had to wait at a boat ramp one day last week to pick up my wife (LPN). The person whos child she cares for was going there so the other kids could play in the lake. I was early and I walked the lake bank for a bit, I got back to the car and a truck, pulling a boat, pulls up. 2 middle aged women got out and began preparing to launch. It was a bit windy, and fairly rough on the lake, in a place especially known for its ability to get extraordinarily high waves. So they were piddling a bit, and me being me, I’m a lake/river/boat guy so I mosied over and struck up a conversation.

    They both grew up with dads who were commercial fishermen, and were quite knowledgeable about the water. And I told them I was a commercial diver, and we struck up a pretty good conversation. About halfway through the conversation, it hit me. They were a couple! I’m slow, but I can get there 🙂

    One of the gals gave me a knowing look at some point, she knew I knew, and she knew I was cool with it. Which in this part of the country you don’t see much. Sometimes, a look is all you need to reach an understanding 🙂

    Anyway, my wife’s ride shows up and I have to depart the conversation. They decided against launching because of the lake conditions, and went their way.

    It was an enlightening afternoon. I wish them well.

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    • HAH! Shell, your opening line hits one of the bullseyes about society controlling what adult individuals want to do and what two, three, etc, consenting adults want to do. It goes both ways too—what consenting adult individuals DON’T want to do also. 😉 Like governors on vehicles or restaurant buffets called “All You Can Eat Up to 800-Calories Max,” do you want other total strangers dictating everything you can or can’t do, ESPECIALLY if it is healthy or unhealthy, or adverse in excessiveness? Or certainly if it is private, consensual, and not lethal or harmful to anyone, right? I love your boat-ramp story by the way. 😄

      Shell, I’ve learned as slowly sometimes as you thought you had in your boat encounter too. One of the tip-offs I began to learn and employ in people situations like yours and mine has been silence and observation coupled with much less self jabbering, selling(?) myself, and staring at visual stimulations, if you catch my drift. 😉 It is amazing what one can read, pickup on, assess, deduce, predict, etc, when one imitates a fly on the wall. Yes, I can be a kinky voyeur for a period of time relative to the immediate environment. 😛 And if you allow others to freely speak, divulge, even pour out their complete Table of Contents, Index, and Bibliography via several open-ended questions… well, then you’ve possibly saved a large amount of your “future” valuable time as well as whether or not you want to “invest,” hold (in limbo), or withdraw—quickly or eventually. 🤭

      However, to be fair and honest Shell, I am not AT ALL like this mysterious, quiet spy or intuitive investigator (Mr. Holmes I presume?) when I’m in my element and among those I consider my Tribe, my People with like minds, desires, and no pretentions or shame in freely expressing them. I am most at home, comfortable, and wonderfully free with them. 😈😁

      I do want to clarify, however, that in expressing my rather Live-n-Let-Live practice, I am by no means promoting or condoning non-consensual anything, such as human trafficking within the sex-industry! And also, I am not at all promoting or encouraging unhealthy, risky, reckless sexual practices either! That’s simply a form of Russian Roulette, biologically or emotionally—eventually The House wins, right?

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  2. One should not judge a book by its cover. Back in the 70s on a weekend you would have seen me walk into some of the local hotspots accompanied by two or three extremely attractive young women, one of them my future wife’s younger sister. I was there so they could have a relaxing evening out without having to worry about being annoyed by oversexed jackasses. A unaccompanied young woman at that time, in this area, could be sure she would be annoyed, harassed, even sexually assaulted by louts with their brains thoroughly soaked by cheap booze and who could not understand the words “no, go away, I don’t want you to shove your hand down my pants.” Considering what I hear from my younger friends, the situation hasn’t changed all that much.

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    • 😄 You are correct Grouchy. Those 12-15 minutes at the taco eatery were just that: 12-15 minutes. And human being’s personal autobiographies/books are typically 500-pages thick or more. 😉 Can’t know the whole story in a matter of 12-15 minutes.

      That said, here for the sake of a quick, very short (for me!) 1,000+ word blog-post, I sacrificed a TON of other details about the entire encounter AND those three patrons(?) with remarkable, bold advertising skills… both visually and behaviorally to the HILT! 🤣 Of course, I could’ve been wrong, but I will still take my 12-min assessment in a Game of 21 and wager I’m very close to 21 without knowing what that next card would’ve been. 😉

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    • Yes, unless one is self-sustaining somewhere growing their own “life-blood.” But then the question becomes… WHO owns that land of self-sustainment for 1, 2, 4, 6, or more generations?

      Recently I was accused of being a “parasite.” No kidding. And I asked this narrow-minded, uneducated 83-yr old man… “So tell me wise ass, what on this planet EVER is or has been an organic living organism, a living being or animal, or plant that IS NOT parasitic feeding on whatever energy here it requires to survive? You are a cattle rancher. Aren’t you a parasite feeding yourself off cows for several decades?”

      Jack, he was silent, no answer. I don’t have much patience for short-sighted ass holes who THINK, DREAM as if they need no one. And should I tell you what radical loyal political party this 83-yr old man belongs too? Care to take a guess? 😄

      Hint: their political mascot is an elephant. And the elephant represents absolutely NOTHING about the real elephants behavior in the wild. That’s what is so funny, ironic, and idiotic about that Party!!!

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      • Howdy Professor!

        You’re teaching to the choir! I have completely lost patience with the segment of our society who are being such willing useful idiots for little or no personal gain. They are willing to sell the whole planet in order to belong to what a narcissist who will throw them under the bus at his first convenience? I just don’t get it.

        I get the GQP trying to destroy our democracy and install a single-party pseudo-democratic minority-rule autocracy. Their motivation is to transfer the nation’s wealth to the 1% with as little interference from the 99% as possible. Let the Chinese dominate the world as long as they can sop up wealth from our hard work.

        I don’t get the 25% of the electorate that is so rabidly behind them, though. I’ve explained it in many a blog post. I can explain it again. It makes about as much sense as watching a plane fly or a ship sail. I get the reasons for it. It still doesn’t make sense.

        Here’s hoping for better days.

        Huzzah!
        Jack

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      • I should point out that personally I think sex work is a legitimate profession just like any other. The problem is that there are no protections for the people involved in it and they are often subject to abuse and even literally slavery. Just about every person I know who is involved in it was not doing it willingly. This bizarre linking of sex with morality and religion has harmed just about everyone it has touched over the centuries.

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