According to Webster’s New World College Dictionary, envy is defined as 1. a feeling of discontent and ill-will because of another’s advantages, possessions, etc.; resentful dislike of another who has something that one desires. 2. desire for some advantage, quality, etc. that another has. 3. an object of envious feeling; and so on as described in the definition. I have a particular interest in number two: “desire for some advantage, quality… that another has.”
As I wrote about in my previous post She Was A Knockout, I have been visiting my new orthodontist for major dental work. My orthodontist is a very pleasant, kind, engaging man in his late sixties and probably on the verge of his retirement. In fact, after he is finished with me I am sure he could easily retire!
You might already know, Texas is considered on the fringe of the southern bible-belt. In some places – like this small southwest Texan town I’m temporarily in – at times you’d think it was firmly in the deep ultra-conservative south. Everyone knows everyone according to two badges: what 1,000 acre ranch you own or its family you hale from, and what Christian church you attend. With those badges come the assumption that on either Saturday afternoon/evening, or Sunday morning, you along with everyone else in town are sitting in a pew; when you’re not in the pew then you are “spreading the Good News!” during the other remaining six days or at least talking about how great the “news” and life is…or I should say, reborn life.
All throughout his office and patient rooms are table-top statues (image above) with no inscriptions but which clearly depict a familiar scene and New Testament story: Mary the prostitute or a disciple kneeling down washing Christ’s feet. Up on several walls and on several counters are negative (as opposed to photographic positive) shapes that when closely examined spell “Jesus.”
I am humored by his obvious proclamations. After all, it is his office and patient rooms…..that he leases from the property management and owners. And he and his practice, fortunately for him, do reside in a country of religious freedom and speech. Like him, I am certainly grateful for that privilege. I smile thinking that as his paying patient, I must represent Jesus in those statues! Oh no, wait a minute! Could I be the prostitute, or rather gigolo paying my growing dental bill in whatever manner works!? I could easily be enslaved to my dentist for several years after all the services rendered!
Like Penis-Envy But Really God-Envy
On that note, I have this itching urge to share another interpretation of those many statuettes thoughtfully placed in each of their locations. It is this: Did you know that this statue also symbolizes the servitude of a submissive to their Dom, Domme, or Master in the BDSM lifestyle? I chuckle inside imagining their expressions. And then my warped sense of humor whispers to me: this is like penis-envy, except in this office it is God-envy. I realize my itching ill-expressed humor might exact many more extractions of teeth if I don’t guard my tongue. I repress.
So you might be asking, what does this have to do with envy? Bear with me.
As my dentist popped his rubber gloves to work inside my mouth, we got sidetracked by my curiosity to his two digital clocks in the room. I explained to him (with intended humor) the big one displayed the room temperature, barometric pressure, and weirdly 6:35pm Sunday. That cannot be so because my appointment was for 8:30am Monday; I was on time. Furthermore, there is no place on Earth where it was presently 6:37pm Sunday…so I ask you Dr. Einstein – that is the name I’ll give him here to protect his innocence – have you invented a patient room and chair capable of time-travel? He played along.
But then our conversation turned. He mentioned that my astrological sign/reading for the day might be treacherous (being in his office laid back in the chair) as he smirked. And before I could play along with his wit, he quickly retracted his comment apologizing for mocking a system that is “a bunch of hogwash” and that he doesn’t believe in any of that stuff. Then he continued, “That stuff [astrology] is demonic!” And then he quickly apologized again and stated he should not have said that either because I might like it or believe in it!
Now I’m really enjoying The Orthodontic Squirm Show! And then he digs his hole deeper and asks me “Do you like that stuff? Do you believe it?”
Let me say here, that earlier itch on his statuettes, never wanted to be scratched SO BAD as it did with that question!
Given my situation and trust in his upcoming surgical expertise with my mouth and teeth, I answered, I love space exploration, cosmology, astrophysics, and quantum mechanics. He replied “But that has nothing to do with astrology.” I know it doesn’t I answered. I hoped he was witty enough to understand my read-between-the-lines answer. I was not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing one way or the other if his fumbling had been intrusive or not, even though it wasn’t in the least. But….Let him sweat!
* * * * * * * * * *
In almost every case, I have never been offended or put off by Christian evangelicals or proselytizing, or even self-perceived prophets. The kind folks that clutter their front yards with crosses representing Calvary don’t really bother me either. Having grown up in Texas, having spent two and a half years in seminary myself and four years at a Christian liberal arts college and then five years as a deacon and singles ministry leader all in Mississippi, I know the canonical New Testament teachings and doctrines very, very well. Those evangelicals, or proselytizers, or prophets, or simple common folk proclaiming Good News are actually obeying quite well what scripture teaches ALL followers to go and do…daily with humility. I greatly admire their obedience and courage even though I thoroughly disagree with their foundations for doing it.
So why do they do it?
In my mind and reasoning, they are unaware (or in denial) of how amputated, and how misconceived – and maligned through Greco-Roman lenses and traditions – the stories and passages of their bible was canonized versus the real historical events and context of their Savior Yeshua. Those historical facts are apparently boring and unnecessary. So I ask myself again, why do they do it so faithfully? Then the light bulb turns on. God-envy.
The human brain and body is a remarkable coping mechanism to the sometimes brutal unexplainable force of life. So we envy those who seem to lift themselves above the pain and chaos and offer a form of hope (and power?), peace, and order. Fortunately, there are a plethora of successful ways of achieving the happier life or a less anxiety-ridden life and subsequent conquest of death WITHOUT surrendering your soul and innate gifts to an ancient proxy shrouded in Greco-Roman traditions. In the doctrines of mainstream Christianity that “surrendering” is referred to as humanity’s total depravity.
Consequently, and to humanity’s detriment for two plus millennia, mainstream Christian doctrines don’t teach self-reliance, self-empowerment or self-actualization because that was not the Greco-Roman way of control and imperialism during the formation of the canonical New Testament; so we envy its Messiah…a greatly diluted form of individual potential.
I wonder if my orthodontist knows that it is because of astrology and other fields of science that mankind successfully navigated the vast oceans, understood when crops needed to be planted and harvested, that the Earth circles the Sun and not the Sun/cosmos circling Man’s planet, or more importantly three Eastern Arabian kings bearing royal gifts followed a great Supernova in the night sky — which astrologers and cosmologists have determined was not in the month of December — with navigation built upon centuries of incredible Arabian-Persian science and astrology? What do you think?
Footnote – If interested in the historical context of the Greco-Roman deification of Yeshua of Nazareth, start with my post Constantine: Christianity’s True Catalyst/Christ or the other The Suffering Messiah That Wasn’t Jesus. For further reading and understanding of Yeshua’s/Jesus’ deep Jewish-Roman world, I recommend Dr. James Tabor’s work and website at The Jewish Roman World of Jesus. It is an excellent highly informative site of overlooked context by today’s Roman Catholic and Protestant churches.
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You know…. those orthodontist appointments are only going to get more interesting. Poor guy. I foresee many a sleepless nights to come, for the good Doctor. That’s one of my favourite MM songs. 🙂
Oh they already have Vix. Today he told me what he’s always wanted to do to patients with “smart ass mouths” when they come in for molded fittings. I asked, “You want to do an entire mold/fitting for my face & head, right?” He does have a witty sense of humor, I’ll give him that.
That’s actually my favorite Marilyn Manson song. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you that, as a Christian, my views don’t always 100% mesh with what the traditionalists teach. When it comes to things like self reliance etc…I believe that God gave us brains to think things out for themselves. As for your D/s contexts…well, the Bible does encourage us to serve others (and that it’s a gift you are giving). I don’t know about you, but I see similarities. When humility and self empowerment come up, I think people get confused. Humility isn’t about downplaying talents or gifts…it’s about not being a braggart about what you’ve been given or blessed with. There is a big difference between stating fact v. puffing out your chest in arrogance. Some people have difficulty differentiating, but that’s their problem, not mine.
As for some of the sexual aspects…I believe sex and the joy of it are gifts. I don’t believe it’s something to be ashamed of, but rather celebrated. I also believe that judgement about how people choose to live their lives is not up to me. And if people choose to judge me for what I enjoy…so be it. I’m comfortable with who and what I am.
Man, I wish my orthodontist visits were half as exciting as yours appeared to be. Mine were just tedious.
“…my [Christian] views don’t always 100% mesh with what the traditionalists teach.” That made me chuckle big-time Kitt. Love it; & I’m growing fond of you & your “unique” perspectives. 😉
All of your points are good ones & valid. Thank you as always for dropping your welcomed feedback in on my whimsical raves, rants, musings, & uncategorizable posts. Happily you are not an inerrantist thank the “astrological stars!” 😉 Your point about true humility is especially precise. How I reacted that day with my orthodontist is usually my typical response to ‘hot-button’ topics…unless, one (or a group) pushes the issue too far. THEN I am adequately prepared to go all 10-rounds and overtime if necessary. I rarely shy away from a subject I’m well-versed & educated in. And your 2nd to last paragraph….indeed. I applaud you and encourage you in EVERY way there! But I’m sure that’s no surprise. 😉
I, too, enjoy our back-and-forths. You keep me entertained and on my toes. Like you, I’ve learned to modulate my responses to hot button pushers (especially ones who’ve done it accidentally). My responses to those who keep pushing are rarely pleasant for them. For some reason they take issue to having what they claim is their faith used against them. Somehow I get the feeling we can be very much alike in that manner.
It’s going to be very interesting to see just how much we have in common. 🙂
Honey~ your posts always educate me, make me laugh and twist my brain in such a good way~ Always a pleasure~
Alphasiren, always my pleasure to be of some laughing, education, and brain twisting goodness! Ultimately, I feel we all have something to “share” that helps each of us become more whole human beings, whether it be mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually or physically… did I leave one out(?)…any given time & point in our lives. Why does there need to be limits/taboos if it benefits the greater good?
Thanks for your comment & stopping by!
Good grief. It always makes me so sad to hear about people like your orthodontist, who have a knee-jerk reaction to anything that smacks of “hocus pocus”. Don’t they realize that back in the day when astrology was used, as you pointed out, for practical purposes, that people didn’t believe that it was counter to a belief in Christianity? So much has been bastardized and “demonized” and it’s just sad. If it isn’t inherently a harmful practice, then who cares? If it can be helpful, who cares?
Ah, the renown Madame Weebles! Thank you for stopping by! 🙂
I was nodding & yepping to everything you stated. I feel that humanity has given WAY TOO much power to mythological demons and Satan. In many cases, He/It is really used (conscientiously or not) as an excuse or merely to gain inner peace, to forces we have yet to fully understand, & subsequently better manage. Example, the medieval practice of bleeding-out! LOL
Evolution takes time, centuries…but please don’t get apathetic & write it off as “demonic”! Do your hard homework lazy ass!
Can I get an Amen sista? 😉