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About Professor Taboo

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Our Family Reunion

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“Scientist Prove 7-Billion Earthlings All Similar!”

6-billion-facesQuite a news headline don’t you think?  But it isn’t that far off.  Just as modern nuclear physics and quantum mechanics have shown that everything in existence on our planet is connected, including humans, years of DNA sampling and genetic research from around the globe increasingly shows that all of us are from the same family and same place.  Indeed, socially and culturally mankind is very different all over the world.  Yet much of our presumed diversity turns out to be only “skin deep.”

Human Genetics 101

The field of genetics and in particular human genetics is the study and research of inherited traits from paternal and maternal ancestors.  Traits such as physical appearance are part of every human’s genetic code and are easily identifiable.  However, other traits such as blood type or immunities are not so easily identified by the naked eye but can be through DNA, or genetic coding.  The order of these genetic units gives a living organism, in this case a human fetus, instructions about how to be built and how to eventually operate.  During the lives of a father and mother these units can evolve into mutations, or different instructions based on environmental factors such as diet and climate, as well as by external factors such as the spouse or partner and their internal and external factors during development.  Over many generations these mutations become subtle or dramatic based on the ancestral story.  For a more in-depth description of human genetics click here.

The Genographic Project
Primary migrations of the human race

Primary migrations of the human race

In 2005 the National Geographic Society, IBM, and the Waitt Family Foundation, and a panel of genetic scientists led by Dr. Spencer Wells, began a monumental anthropological tracking of human migration patterns using DNA samples from over a half-million people (and rising) from over 140 countries around the world.  What the project has revealed is nothing less than remarkable.

So far – and I emphasize “so far” – continued advances in DNA science and technology have shown geneticists that all mankind have evolved from mothers and fathers from southern Africa about 200,000 years ago.  Then 154,000 to 134,000 years ago some began to migrate northward.  This introductory map has been constructed over the last decade by geneticists Dr. Douglas C. Wallace of Yale and Cornell Universities, Dr. Peter A. Underhill and Dr. Peter J. Oefner both of Stanford University, and now continued by Dr. Spencer Wells and The Genographic Project.

Dr. Wells approaches the movement of mankind not from our distant ape/monkey ancestors of billions of years back as Charles Darwin attempted, but instead from a genealogical approach.  Most of us can trace our ancestors back three, four, perhaps five generations back.  However, beyond this point it becomes increasingly harder to find details about our ancestors; where they lived or moved, or how they lived.  This brick wall is sometimes called the fog of history by genealogists when family specifics become sketchy and grey.  Many times this is the result of catastrophic events where the record is lost or destroyed, or perhaps when wars and invasions wiped-out the population and the victors wrote their own ‘version of history.’  For example, my own particular family history – primarily my maternal history – at this point can only be traced back to the late 1700’s.  We are unable to find more ancestral details due to harsh religious persecutions in central Europe at that time from which my maternal family were imprisoned or killed.  Nonetheless, this isn’t a far rewind on the ancestral clock compared to what Dr. Wells and The Genographic Project have achieved.

Migrations after 7 years of DNA collections

Migrations after 7 years of DNA collections

Today the ancestral records can be tracked further back…much further back; like 40,000 years back.  And due to the continuing advances in DNA research, we may soon discover much more than basic demographics of where we came from and who we belonged to.  You may ask “how is that possible?”  The answer is that our DNA code is a very, very long blueprint of molecular signatures; over 6-billion signatures going back to your…our earliest ancestors.  Any moment when a signature changes and is passed on to a descendent this is called a genetic marker.  It is from these genetic markers that geneticists like Dr. Wells have been able to trace backwards all of mankind’s migrations everywhere in the world AND where our earliest mothers and fathers originated.  The above news headline would then read:  We Are All Africanus-Humans!  Imagine how popular or unpopular that news would be.

The Religious Sidenote
Cuneiform script from Mesopotamia

Cuneiform script from Mesopotamia

Before too many jump up and down hysterically that these genetic-DNA advances show scientific support for what the Holy Bible or other holy religious scriptures have taught for millennia, it must be clarified that the original mother and father discussed in this project were among a group of some 2,000 humans hunting and gathering together for survival.  Those 2,000 were descendants of even earlier Homo erectus mammals.  For the sake of simplicity for the masses, these geneticists have colloquially named the first known mother “mitochondrial Eve” and the first known father “Y chromosome Adam,” both from the 2,000 in southern Africa.  These two parents should not be confused with the biblical Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden – that would be a premature jump of some length.  Keep in mind that when Homo erectus on through Homo sapiens began communicating to each other verbally and with cave art, it would be another 14,000 years before writing systems took place such as chiseled tokens, sequenced pictographs, and scripted cuneiform.  The Semitic alphabet (earliest forms of Hebrew) did not become widely used for another 1,400 years approximate.  Therefore, to force the religious testimonies into context with the current genetic evidence, the scriptural stories are based long after the original 2,000 Y-Adams and m-Eves, and hence tell a story of only one leg (if taken literally) of many migratory legs coming from Africa some 16,000 years and 640 or more generations later!  That is an unimaginable and incomprehensible amount of events and variables well beyond prehistoric human memory and perception of the time.  Therefore, to say the biblical story of Eden is from a very narrow genealogical lens would be a gross understatement.  It is enormously unrealistic.  It simply cannot be the one and only historical source.

Back to The Genographic Project

Like it or not as it turns out, we are all from an African family.  “Within the last 200,000 years” explains Dr. Wells, “we all share a common ancestor; a mitochondrial Eve, a single African woman.  What’s more amazing is…the Y-chromosome Adam only lived around 60,000 years ago.”  What is inferred from this genetic discovery is that up until 60,000 years ago all of mankind resided on the African continent.  It wasn’t until after this time that a subgroup migrated outside the continent.  Why did this subgroup decide to leave then?  Why didn’t they leave sooner?

TropicsThe continent of Africa has always been the most tropical continent on the planet over the past 200,000 years.  Above the Tropic of Cancer and below the Tropic of Capricorn most landmasses are cooler-to-frigid climates depending on the historical time period discussed.  The bulk of the other six continents do not reside inside the warmer more moderate climates of the two Tropics.  About 80 percent of Africa lies within the two Tropics making it the most ideal landmass to live during an Ice Age or glaciation.  The last hard glaciation started ending about 70,000 years ago (see graph below).  By 50,000 years ago the polar ice-sheets were a little larger than they are today.  When the warming began, Africa began to dry out and the food sources diminished.  Consequently, this is the time when groups began migrating north following their food sources onto other continents.  This is the time when mankind’s physical, cultural, and linguistic diversities began.

It is at this point when Dr. Wells and The Genographic Project began the journey of tracing the origins and migrations of some 560,000 individual DNA samples from around the world.  The project consists of three core components:

  1. Genetic anthropology – with the use of a GenoChip the project is able to collect 150,000 individual genetic markers revealing a person’s extensive ancestral-relevant story.
  2. Indigenous field research – collecting and analyzing data in cooperation with groups that have remained in local or regional areas for thousands of years.  This connects more dots on the human migrations map.
  3. Collective global DNA database – invite the general population to discover their own DNA ancestry through the Geno 2.0 Kit with a portion of the proceeds going toward conservation and revitalization of indigenous projects through The Genographic Legacy Fund.

ice_agesWhat makes this project so profoundly revolutionary are the ancestral results for all of us.  It will show your incredible family lineage and show it within the context of mankind, something never imagined or done on such a personal basis.  This project connects you not only to your particular ancestral makeup, but all humans to our singular African community 200,000 years ago.  This has to be one of the greatest evolving stories ever told.  How many questions about the origins of you and mankind will be answered?  Other questions the Genographic website asks:

“How many migrations out of Africa were there?  What role did the Silk Road, with its caravans and bazaars, play in dispersing genetic lineages across Eurasia?  What can our genes tell us about the origins of languages?  How did the great empires of history leave their genetic marks on our DNA?  And if we all share such a recent common ancestry, why do we all look so different?”

The last question above is one I find most intriguing as well as enlightening.  As mentioned earlier, climate has played a significant part in shaping our physical bodies.  With varying climates, some extreme, come varying food sources and subsequent diets.  During abundant food sources or during scarce food sources, how the group manages the sources will decide their survival.  And this determination, the question of how a group will survive is a question being answered on all genetic levels.  Whether it is familial, local, continental, or as a global species, the question today is always the same on every level:  how will we survive together?  With this in mind, the operative word in that last question above is “look”.  With the advances in genetic science and the continuing work of The Genographic Project, we have learned that on a genetic level every single human being on this planet is 99% alike.  It is only the 1 percent outer differences, our “looks”, our adaptive evolving physical features of survival that are different.

A New Viewpoint
Earth seen from the ISS and human space-travelers

Earth seen from the ISS and human space-travelers

While orbiting the Earth inside the International Space Station 250 miles up, Russian cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev said while looking down at our home planet, “from space you do not see any borders… you feel yourself part of humankind, not just man from one country or one city.”  Krikalev could not be more accurate.  As if from a height of incredible omniscience, Sergei points out that Earth is not a child’s sandbox to be selfishly divided and toys hoarded by the biggest bullies.  On the genetic level of inner space to the orbit of outer space, mankind is really the same.  What we are capable of accomplishing in collaboration with each other is now demonstrated from the molecular to the cosmos without interruption thanks in part to The Genographic Project.  I recommend everyone join, after all, we are from the same miraculous yet harsh place moving on the same journeys.

The adage “hope for the best, but prepare for the worst” comes to mind.  As Earth’s paleolithic record shows, our planet can be abundantly sustaining as it can be horribly unforgiving.  As the most dominant intelligent species, together we can learn, respect, and grow from it, or we can fight against her and our cousins and perish.  It is a simple choice with a simple answer when all the understood parts, from top to bottom, left to right, atomic to macrocosmic point to the same overture:

Our genetic blueprints and Sergei Krikalev’s recognition from space agree, we are all simply humans from the same Earth-family; nothing more, nothing less…yet a little more and a little less.

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Live Laugh Love

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Creative Commons License
This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.

Life’s Flimsy Moments

The changing of the seasons can sometimes bring sudden unexpected weather.  Take for instance a time when my slender 5’ 4” girlfriend was caught off-guard.  She and I were walking one windy day out to my SUV, when suddenly things went sort of like this…

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Fortunately, she did not travel quite like a tumbleweeding chick; however, I did have to rescue my damsel-in-distress from “leaving me”…albeit unintentional.  I am happy to report that my lovely Mary Poppins was unharmed despite all her screams.  The moment did offer us a blustery love-lesson:  being swept off your feet is not necessarily a good thing!

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Unveiling Incentive-Opportunity Fallacies

[This post is a continuation of the article-blog Productive Inequality]

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As I watched one night the 6-part series “The Men Who Built America” on the History Channel, I kept saying to myself What has changed  in our socio-economic America today?  The answer is a lot…and not much.  Watch the following 4-min video clip to get an idea why much has changed and not changed:

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Resting on Star-Spangled Laurels

Ask most Americans on the streets today who Cornelius Vanderbilt, John Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, J.P. Morgan, and Henry Ford were and what they meant to America and you will get a variety of answers – although many could describe briefly some connection to Ford Motor Company, Chase Morgan, and Carnegie Hall in New York City.  Beyond those mutterings, the depth and accuracy might be in question.  However, ask the same question to Donald Trump, Jerry Jones, the Waltons of Walmart, Bill Gates, or Sumner Redstone and they will give you a hyper-patriotic narrative of how these progenitors founded and built the greatest economic nation in the world.  In the annals of Western capitalism, Carnegie, Ford, Morgan, Rockefeller, and Vanderbilt are the founding demigods.

John D. Rockefeller, 1888
John D. Rockefeller, 1888

By the age of retirement all five of these 19th century business-moguls’ fortunes made up anywhere between 1-3% of America’s GDP by a single person.  Those five net worth’s have been adjusted for today’s 2000 dollars, but the amounts are incomprehensibly staggering.  Vanderbilt’s estimate:  $140 – $180 billion dollars.  Rockefeller’s estimate:  $392 – $663 billion dollars.  Carnegie’s estimate:  almost $300 billion.  Ford’s estimate:  $188 billion.  Morgan’s final net worth was divided between several holdings but his estate was estimated to be worth about $68 million at death.  If 1-3% of the economy of America – one of the world’s richest nations – consisted of five men, then that is perhaps the truest definition of oligarchy not democracy.  J.P. Morgan’s wealth was so vast that during the economic panic of 1893, President Grover Cleveland borrowed from him in order to restore the nation’s treasury.

How was it possible for a handful of entrepreneurs to accumulate such epic wealth during sixteen national recessions (1865 to 1933) as well as the Great Depression of 1929?  I will attempt to answer this question simply.

Do not mistake this web blog as promoting Karl Marx or Vladimir Lenin economics.  There is nothing inherently wrong with making and earning money for quality work.  What is under question, however, is how efficiently and fairly that economy — which provides the wealth — is working as a whole and perpetuating itself.  Despite the great success of these five American entrepreneurs, the “machine” from which they profited broke-down sixteen times.  Those failures in a long line of many failures as recently as 2008, are what is in question.  Why does our “strongest nation in the world” economy and government keep failing?

I am a lifetime sports fan.  One way to answer the question is to use a sports analogy.  Pick your favorite sports team, the team you grew up watching with family or friends.  The team’s performance should elicit some level of passion inside.  You’ve always wanted them to perform well, maybe even win several championships.  When your team is playing say in the playoffs, do you feel that referees or umpires are necessary?  Why are they necessary?  No fans, or for that matter no team players or coaches on the competing rosters cheer for the referees or umpires.  Why is that?  We like them when they punish or discipline our opponent, but we dislike them when they punish or discipline our favorite team.  Why are the referees and umpires needed for the games?

From a biased point-of-view the answer is obvious:  we want them there so that our opponents won’t cheat or win the game unfairly.  But from an objective standpoint, we need them there to ensure a “fair or level playing field” for both teams, correct?  Imagine what the games would be like if there were no referees or umpires.  Cheating, even intentional maiming would no doubt take place.  Whether we like referees and umpires or not, we need them so the games can be won or lost fairly.  Well, in economics and social policy the government is no different:  we need a strong government to ensure that the game of economics and social policy are fairly played.

During the era of Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, Carnegie, Morgan, and Ford there were weak referees or umpires, and in several cases no referees or umpires at all.  Even though the United States grew into the most powerfully economic and productive nation on the globe after 1870, doing it inside an unrestrained ungoverned free-market economy it eventually led to the worst economic and social collapse in modern history:  the Great Depression and two world wars.  Is that performance really deserving of grand boasting and fan-fare? Resting on the laurels of post-1870 Wild West growth is at the same time condoning unfettered greedy oligarchists and market manipulation.  Domestic and global economics today are much more complex and dynamic than antiquated 19th and 20th century philosophies can manage and diluting the power of the referees and umpires (i.e. our government) is a sure way of returning to another Great Depression.

Let’s look more closely at what outdated economic systems, still pushed today by some American parties, nurture over several generations.

Fallacies of Incentive-Opportunity Economics

REAGANMONEYSPEECH2

Some political parties and economists today swear by and blow their Reaganomics bugle, or trickle-down economics as the best economic system.  Another more modern name for this system is incentive economics.  Within this philosophy its adherents proclaim that inequality is a natural product of its efficiency:  some will produce more than others.  Proponents of incentive economics (primarily those from the political right) argue that if programs and policies redistribute wealth, then it will deconstruct incentives and motivation toward efficiency.  They also argue that if we focus too much on disparity of outcomes, i.e. a growing gap between socio-economic classes, especially over one year or a four-year presidential administration, then the public is missing the bigger better picture.  What is more important, they proclaim, is only lifetime inequality and how much more opportunity is created.  In other words, there is a natural trade-off of the-haves and the-have-nots based on efficiency as if it is “natural selection” of the strongest over the weakest or genius over ignorance.  They add that private wealth created by opportunity and perfect competitive economies will soon feed or trickle-down into social returns for the less fortunate.  But for the last four to five decades this simply hasn’t been the case.

Remember the definition of rent-seeking from the earlier post Productive Inequality?  It said when a company, organization, or individual uses their resources to obtain economic gain from others without reciprocating any benefits back to society through wealth creation…this is called rent-seeking.  For the last several decades declining public investment, declining support for public education, distortions of the true health of our economy, declining worker morale and labor fairness, have all contributed to a widened gap between the top 1% and 10% from the middle and bottom economic percentile.  Redistributing wealth and opportunities would reduce inequality and increase efficiency, the exact opposite of what the Right contends.

Both the lack of wealth and minimization of risk available to the lower 99% – 90% are two major market failures of our capital economy.  Consequently, this lays the burden of upward economic mobility on parental wealth; in other words, what their parents can or cannot provide through digressing public education and their work income.  And too often in the lower economic third both parents are working for wages that hardly keep up with inflation.  The Right consistently underestimates these failures.

Stronger or weaker team?
Stronger or weaker team?

The Right also consistently overestimates the benefits of incentive pay.  Before revealing the true risks of incentive pay, what does the term mean?  Barron’s Business Dictionary states it is a wage system that rewards a worker for productivity above an established standard and within a defined time period.  It is often called pay for performance.  Many incentive pay schemes are used by corporations each with varying success rates, or resulting in higher worker productivity.  However, history has repeatedly shown that the schemes can also come with many counterproductive results.  Take for instance the program at Hewlett-Packard in the 1990s (click here for the CBS News article).  After setting up pay-for-performance schemes across thirteen or more American production sites, most of the HP worker-teams outperformed management’s projections costing the corporation excessive payouts.  As a result, HP management made the goals higher and harder to achieve.  This move had the exact opposite effect.  Teamwork within the nationwide teams declined, primarily because self-interest dominated over corporate gains.  Why do you think this happened?

Another example of failed incentive pay schemes but using instead a disciplinary fine, or negative reinforcement, to stimulate better results as told by Joseph Stiglitz:

“…a cooperative day center had a problem with certain parents’ picking up their children in a timely way.  It decided to impose a charge, to provide an incentive for them to do so.  But many parents, including those who had occasionally been late, had struggled to pick up their children on time; they did as well as they did because of the social pressure, the desire to do “the right thing,” even if they were less than fully successful.  But charging a fee converted a social obligation [teamwork] into a monetary transaction.  Parents no longer felt a social responsibility, but assessed whether the benefits of being late were greater or less than the fine.  Lateness increased.”

This begs the question, why is an extrinsic monetary reward scheme imperfect?  Because it is human nature to be socially connected; it is a primal instinct…for most, and in the end it often outweighs individual, secluding self-interest.  What is the point of an opulent palace with opulent toys on a grossly opulent island, if there is no one at all to enjoy it with?  Stiglitz goes on to write:

“The reason that [incentive pay] economic theory failed to gauge accurately the effectiveness of team incentives is that it underestimated the importance of personal connectiveness.  Individuals work hard to please others in their team – and because they believe it is the right thing to do.  Economists overestimate, too, the selfishness of individuals (though there is considerable evidence that economists are more selfish than others, and that economics training does make individuals more selfish over time) [particularly when resources, opportunities, and rewards are scarce/hoarded; ala the 2012 film The Hunger Games].  It is thus perhaps not surprising that firms owned by their workers – and who therefore share in the profits – have performed better in the crisis and laid off fewer employees.”

All four must be equally balanced
All four must be equally balanced

Many incentive pay schemes will never be able to fully ignite the best of human-worker performance because often monetary rewards, extrinsic gains, fall short of a greater good.  Why?  Because all four types of human motivation (table on right) must be as closely balanced as possible for a person to be peacefully satisfied.  This is just as true in economic and political laws and policies.

As a result of the Right’s shortsightedness, i.e. underestimating the real costs of socio-economic inequality and overestimating the costs of fixing it through progressive taxation and public spending, America needlessly spins its congressional and executive wheels in gridlocked hyper-partisanship  eventually invoicing her 90 percentile taxpayers.  President Reagan pushed for a less progressive tax system, lowering taxes on the top 1 and 10 percent, claiming that would raise more funds due to increased saving and worker productivity.  He was incorrect:  tax revenues plummeted.  H.W. Bush’s cuts had the same effect:  an increased deficit.  During President Clinton’s administration, taxes were raised on the top percentile and the United States enjoyed a brief time of rapid growth and a minor decrease in economic inequality.  Then George W. Bush entered office and…well, we had the 2008 financial crisis in which the majority of Americans, indeed the lower poorer classes, are still suffering.  Naturally, the Right contends that if the marginal Americans paid 100% of their taxes, then “incentives” for the public would be harmfully weakened.  But this claim is really nothing more than crying wolf.  Stiglitz points out:

“…University of California professor Emmanuel Saez, Thomas Piketty of the Paris School of Economics, and Stefanie Stantcheva of the MIT Department of Economics, carefully taking into account the incentive effects of higher taxation and the societal benefits of reducing inequality, have estimated that the tax rate at the top should be around 70 percent – what it was before President Reagan started his campaign for the rich.”

What many on the Right fail to recognize in their economic, social, and political theories and/or systems is that no one succeeds on their own.  They fail to recognize that a more level playing field, a more fair game if you will, almost always produces more efficiency, more brilliance, and a higher quality of life for a greater number, which in turn nurtures itself.  A healthier “team” is a more productive successful team; and when these healthy teams are playing other healthy teams on a fair game-field with strong powerful referees or umpires, the “game”…the economy is brilliant!  Therefore in return, the players, the coaches, the fans, everyone benefits and is more motivated to excellence.

On the other hand, an economic theory/system of scarcity and hoarding, i.e. weak public spending and regressive taxation for the strong/resourceful, is actually the antithesis of motivation-for-excellence; it too often maligns individual behavior to succeed-at-all-costs.  Survival-of-the-Fittest economics does not encourage unity, particularly in times of severe crisis, and does not encourage real democracy.  Thank the good stars that most human beings need MORE than just extrinsic rewards and require equally intrinsic rewards, if not more.  But oh dear, that would mean less egocentrism, less arrogance, less consumption, and more community, more intimate connectivity, more humbleness, and a more permeable comfort zone to name a few life-changes.  I feel there are many who are simply terrified of this idea, unfortunately, but I can hope.

Retrieving the American Dream

Joseph Stiglitz and those economists inside his camp have several profound ideas, policies, and reformations that will return America to its former collective glory.  To share these here would extend this blog series by two or three more; a length I have no time to carry out and likely readers and visitors here will have no patience with.  Hence, I will only recommend strongly that everyone purchase The Price of Inequality and read it, study it, and digest it.  If you wish to better understand what has happened and will continue to happen to our American economy and social classes, and avoid being a naïve puppet in a oligarchial corporate capitalist show in a failing free-market economy, then it is a must read!

class_saying_pledge

Here is the pressing question:  Is the American dream still alive?  Is the American dream still available?  More importantly, is the American dream available to all as our “pledge of allegiance” implies?  The present fifth version, which Congress passed in 1954, states in the last half “…one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”  How accurately does this pledge reflect America today?  How does one measure its accuracy?

Surprisingly perhaps to most, measuring America’s success of “…with liberty and justice for all” is quite easy.  In modern statistical tables, polls, experiments, or graphs all mathematicians will say that the greater the data collected, the more accurate the results.  Take for example a simple school student-poll on say thermostat comfort of the buildings.  Of a student body of 700 students, would the pollers achieve an accurate reflection of their student body if they obtained 150 student opinions?  Of course not; a poll of exactly 700 students would be the most accurate.  This statistical truth is always the case whether one is measuring ten people or elements, or whether measuring 314 million.

This statistical truth therefore applies to larger numbers or polls, like the world (see earlier post The Land of Opportunity? for a comprehensive indicator of America’s global standing).  In order to get a truly accurate and objective reflection, we must include the rest of similar industrialized nations, and to be most accurate all other non-industrialized nations.  But this raises more complex dynamics that in some cases go beyond economic, social, and political elements I have covered in this series of three web-blogs.  Fortunately, this formula…this gauge of happiness, justice, and liberty for all is not exclusively owned by one person, one group, or even one nation.  It is collective and shared.  The discouraging reality is that on the American horizon – and maybe the world horizon too – this Collective Goodness Gauge, if you will, is constantly threatened.  My next and last web-blog in this series, A Collective Imperative, will examine these threats and how to fight its extinction.

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Live Laugh Love

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Creative Commons License This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.

A Familiar Date

glass-half-fullBe glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place–
be glad your nose is on your face!

“Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face” by Jack Prelutsky

Reflection.  Today is a day not so ordinary for me.  Today I find myself in silent reflection over a collage of memories spanning five decades.  Ugh, I said it.  A jagged horse-pill in some ways, but in others a medal of honor.  A question I sometimes ask myself is this, “Would you change anything?”  Before marriage, having children, and then going through a painful divorce, my youthful perfectionist side would answer abso-frickin-lutely!

Yet, as I reminisce there are so many things I would not change.  And upon this realization, I sit….quietly and peacefully, and honestly a wee-bit uncomfortably.  It is such a strange bag of life I’ve collected filled with (but not full) a plethora of emotions.  I am finding on this familiar date that as I reach inside to pick what I want to keep, I honestly do not want to discard anything, no matter how painful the memory might be.  Why is that?  Does that make me masochistic?   Why would I want to make my bag “heavier”?  And then it hits me.

My father, as much as he was a mentally tough ex-marine perfectionist, one day taught me in his own imperfect way a painfully invaluable life lesson.  I believe I was eleven or twelve years old.  I was mowing, trimming hedges, and edging our neighbor’s yard while they were away.  I was using their lawn equipment because if I had used our lawn equipment, Dad was going to charge me a rental-fee.  The edger my neighbors owned was the single-cylinder side-mounted blade on two wheels you would carefully guide between the concrete and the edge of the grass.  I had never used one of these machines.  When I finished edging the entire yard, I looked around the machine for the power-switch.  Nothing.  Not any sort of button or lever that even resembled a power-switch.  Placing the still running machine in a safe position, I went to get Dad for help.

When we returned to the running edger, he pointed to and explained that the L-shaped metal lever next to the exposed spark-plug cut the electrical circuit running through the engine.  He told me push and hold the lever onto the spark-plug and the engine will simply die.  Wow!  Easy enough, so I reached down put my finger on the metal lever, pushed it onto the spark-plug….and WHAM!  The most violent electrical shock I had ever experienced in my life!  My arms were shaking and trying to seize up.  In utter astonishment I looked up at my Dad wondering…what did I do wrong?  He told me again, push the metal lever onto the spark-plug and hold it there until the engine dies.  I think to myself I haven’t corrected anything I did before.  But out of total trust and obedience for my father, I pushed it down again….longer this time to try and kill that engine!  WHAM but now for 3-4 more violent seconds!  In tears I look up again at my Dad, shocked that his instructions were not working and more shocked that he was repeating the same instructions….”Turn it off” he said.  Again, I tried and again the same result but for a second or two longer.  I am now bawling.  My hands and arms are quivering on the verge of seizure.  I am scared shitless and I want the pain to just go away.

Calmly and compassionately my father finally changed his instruction and pointed to my other hand, “Do you see where your other hand is? See what it is holding?”  Through my tear-drenched eyes I looked over and noticed I was holding the metal part of the handle bars.  I was completing the circuit from my hand, to the lever, through the spark-plug, through the mounted engine, through those handle bars, into my other hand and into my body.  “Move your hand onto the plastic” he said “and then cut the engine off.”  It stopped almost immediately.

For the next hour or so I hated my father.  I wanted to pound on him in anger.  But with each passing year and each passing decade, I understand more and more how unimaginably valuable that very painful lesson was for me.  It was painful not only in respecting the lethal power of electricity, but perhaps more importantly for making me realize that painful lessons have their merit too.  As I reflect back on this familiar day all the beautiful memories I’ve been gifted to experience, I can be equally grateful for the painful lessons and memories — in their weird strange ways they make my cup half full, never half empty.  After everything I’ve experienced and everywhere I’ve been these last five decades, I am quite certain that my life could be so much worse.  I am grateful for what it has brought me and what is still to come.

I love you and miss you Dad. Thank you.

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Live Laugh Love

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No That’s Not What We Meant

Mayan-CalendarFriday, December 21st, 2012 has come and gone without any apocalyptic event, and perhaps to the chagrin of many hyper-dooms-dayers.  Much of the fears and predictions are fortunately based in the misunderstanding of the Mayan calendars and how they worked within the 250 – 900 BCE civilization.  Attempting to project contemporary ideas of time onto the ancient Mayan methods of time would be like attaching square wheels to your car — it is a show of ignorance.

The Mayans had three circular calendars, each with a different purpose.  The first calendar was their Tzolk’in calendar, or Sacred calendar.  It consisted of 260 days and was used for scheduling religious ceremonies.  When the calendar was exhausted it would simply start over again.

The second circular calendar was their Haab’, or Secular calendar.  This consisted of 365 days but did not account for the extra quarter-day it takes Earth to cycle around our Sun.  Our miscalculated modern Western calendar corrects this by adding a leap year about every four years then removing the extra February day the following three years.

The third circular calendar and the one receiving most of the hoopla is the Long Count calendar.  This calendar consisted of about 5,125.36 years and completes its major cycle every December 21st.  Once exhausted, another 5,125 years will begin again.  What astronomers have since learned in the last several decades is that our Sun indeed aligns with the center of the Milky Way, however, pinpointing the exact date cannot be determined in any particular year.  What forms the “Milky Way center” is still a debate among scientists.  They also gladly report that there is no alignment-phenomena of planets or the Sun that will pull Earth’s crust apart or shift its magnetic poles on a specific date.

Our solar system, our planet, and much of the cosmos are cyclical; things ebb and flow, collapse and morph into new creations over and over.  What most scientists, astronomers, geologists, and the like do agree on is that there are any number of catastrophic possibilities that could change our lives on Earth as we know it.  This is a common fact.  It could happen on any given day, but to prophesy an exact date and time is as likely as you picking winning Lotto numbers.

For a good logical scientific explanation of the Mayan calendars, read the article at Live Science.

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Live Laugh Love

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This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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