Clockwork Closing

About three weeks ago in Clockwork, I asked my blog Followers and any visitors to select one of four statements that best represents yourself, life around you, and within our Universe. Those four choices again were:

  1. I am a cog in a Clock.
  2. I am a Clock among Clocks.
  3. I am my clock Winder & Minder.
  4. I am the Time Guardian.

I also asked that you explain why you chose the statement, and then explain why not the other three statements as your choice. There were several good answers and elaborations, a few were comical and lighthearted, and others very intriguing and that I would not have expected.

It is probably wise for me to say “there isn’t a correct or wrong selection.” That might disappoint one or two of you, and others not at all. Think of it this way: Do we witness any of the four statements and their implied meanings in other humans we know? I know I do, regularly. In fact, I’m bewildered to the point of chuckling when I hear or read (essentially) #4 by someone!

I don’t care how wealthy or famous—or evil, or megalomaniacal(?)—or intelligent they might be or they think they are, but “no man is an island, entire of itself” as John Donne famously coined. And furthermore, we did not enter this life from the womb completely independent of anyone or anything, did we? And at some point late in our life—hopefully a very fulfilling, whole life at that—we will return to an existence of dependence. Perhaps complete dependence on family and/or friends. In this, none of us has a choice; embrace it we must! Therefore, I personally think #3 is quite audacious to claim and not entirely true, at least not at birth nor in our final weeks alive. And with that said, I personally might even say #2 is pretty bold to assert, but not as much as #3 or near as omnipotent and omniscient as #4.

As I mentioned in one or two of my replies to comments, this came about when a dear friend of mine told me, pompous and quite full of herself, that “You create your own happy successful world, life, and experiences.” We had known each other intimately for over five years. During that time both of our lives were effected in large ways by not only each other, but also by several others in our spheres including immediate and extended family members. Some of those events and family were effects on us in massive ways which changed the course of life/lives, personally and in extended external ways! However, none of these events I allude to include severe weather phenomena that wreaked havoc on us, some of it permanent, nor do they include how COVID-19 effected our lives, obviously. None of us can choose our biological parents or the zip code(s) they’re born into; maybe all throughout their life. Many humans, through various forces, are propelled into painful, unbearable situations in life, impossible to avoid.

These many varying life conditions I mention still must abide in every way by Laws of biology, physics and Quantum Mechanics within our entire Universe, which certainly effect this “tiny Pale blue-dot of a planet,” to borrow Carl Sagan’s iconic prose, that we much tinier beings must coexist with, but not as commander or Time Lord, and maybe only as a clock Winder & Minder, temporarily as it will be.

From COSMOS: A SpaceTime Odyssey

Hence, for me personally, I’m not completely comfortable asserting number two. I have some reservations with it. If I’m perfectly honest, today March 2, 2022, I am much more comfortable simply with #1, and I am very fine with that. In Somewhere I Have Never Travelled,Gladly Beyond, the fourth stanza, E.E. Cummings speaks of a lady or lover, but what about life, our individual lives (clocks, cogs?) as the Lady or ourselves?

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing.
-- e.e. cummings

For those of you who participated previously in Clockwork, any final thoughts? Any final questions? I won’t promise I have the answers, but I promise to wonder, contemplate, and be a travel companion with you. 😊

Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Listen Close – Learn Always

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Clockwork

I am curious and would be grateful for you indulging my curiosity.

Choose one of the four statements below that best represents yourself, life, and the Universe. In your comment at the bottom explain why you chose it, and then please explain why not the other three statements as your choice.

  1. I am a cog in a Clock.
  2. I am a Clock among Clocks.
  3. I am my clock Winder & Minder.
  4. I am the Time Guardian.
Brain activity on an EEG monitor before physiological & muscular action.

Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Listen Close – Learn Always

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Greatest Love Stories

Three Intro quotes

∼ ∼ ∼ § ∼ ∼ ∼

Fair warning to all readers and my Followers who might get uncomfortable or nauseated when a man gets sappy, romantic, and emotional. I am about to bear my heart and soul as if this were my private journal. BEWARE you anti-romantics, you cold-hearted corpses and anti-passionates to uncontrollable love! I am getting this off my chest, out of my heart and head… and out there for the world to read. I don’t care one way or the other what comes of it because THIS is therapy for me!

My Ridiculous Obsession with Fiery Passion

Beginning in 2002 those were three principles (at the top) I began living by no matter what. I have tried to maintain the courage they require every day and every night. To mean it and live it in their purest and most honest form. They are sometimes intense, and they are frank (perhaps blunt? overwhelming?) emotions from a man and his lifestyle that can make some uncomfortable and others liberated. In some cases reborn and other cases scared shitless. Either way I live my life deeply, sucking out as much marrow as possible as Henry David Thoreau wrote. For me, it is the best way to live and only way to live fully. This is one of those times.

The last two or three weeks I have suffered once again the crushing abandonment of a remarkably special heart, mind, and soul. Unfortunately, she became overwhelmed by the purest, rawest, most honest, wide open, liberating energy she had ever experienced. Her words. After three years she freaked out, unable to reconcile me with her previous life and so slowly withdrew in utter fear.

Safe mediocrity is a powerful, hypnotizing, binding influence on some, especially if children are involved. However, there is a side to rare, atypical passion and love that is not shown, hidden from children, to their (lifetime?) detriment. It’s terribly sad. How else will they recognize atomic, re-energizing love, passion, and commitment if their own parents don’t live it and model it in pure raw honesty? I am baffled by this. Timidness puzzles me when it comes to life’s beautiful experiences. It is one of humanity’s most enduring connections. Why be so scared to let it happen and let it fill you!?

Alright, alright, you may be asking what am I really talking about? I’ll tell you. Some people and friends can’t fathom what I am describing here. They might be too afraid that a human connection can feel like a hypnotic drug. But that isn’t all of it. For me, when intense soul-mate/twin-flame chemistry is choked, drowned, repressed, or removed it feels like the most insurmountable betrayal and ripping-out of life’s marrow one can ever hope to experience. It’s a hematopoietic stem cell transplantation. But I know freak-outs, for whatever reason, are always based in fear. Fear that is fabricated like the Great Wizard of Oz behind his green curtain. Ironically, everyone survives in the end and life goes on.

Because I have less and less fear, and more and more courage to travel this crazy, rocky love-road of a minefield and have done it a number of times, each time gaining more wisdom and more boldness, more confidence, I can keep being exactly, unabashedly who I am! It gets easier each time. When things take an unexpected leap off the cliff, it’s okay. I’ll be fine. Why? Lord Tennyson answers with profound perfection:

“‘Tis better to have loved [fully] and lost
than never to have loved [fully] at all.”

Lord alfred tennyson

Truer words have never been uttered or written. As we’d sometimes repeat in the world of athletic competition, you can’t become a world-class footballer (soccer) while sitting on the bench or spectating in the stands. You must get in the game! You’ll win some and you will lose some, but you will improve every time. Maybe, just maybe you’ll become world-class if you are a Starter each game, every season, and not quit, and keep learning, keep improving. That’s the only way you become world-class—without fear or self-doubt.

When I first “fell in love” 1980 Halloween night, I was 17-yrs old and felt like the world was my oyster and I had found my precious pearl. Yes, seventeen years very young and so very inexperienced.

Pepe Le Pew Credit: Warner Bros.

Wow, did I have a boat-load to learn!

There is a large difference between self-confidence bordering on audacious, and refined wisdom and eloquent technique gained through honest hard lessons and precision refinement, let me tell you. At seventeen—well hell, even 18 through 30 years of age—I was about as smooth, refined, and romantic as Pepé Le Pew the deluded eccentric skunk of Warner Brothers cartoon fame.

Now over 40-yrs later I have actually come a very, very long way to exquisite refinement in matters of amore, if I can say so myself and generally have all my Ladies, past and present, also chime in. With no doubt, in the Game of Amore, I am certainly not “on the bench!”

Those three above initial quotes at the very top are the only way one has a chance of finding their true, natural soul mate(s), in my opinion and experience. It is not reckless. It is not insanity. It is simply honest and raw. It is about accepting the fact that people YOU LOVE fully without fear will hurt you, intentionally and unintentionally. That’s life. That’s human nature. The real question is how will you learn from it, how to keep living, keep loving fully better, learning to fail better at times, and keep moving forward with courage, staying true to yourself without flinching… every single time. That’s how you live Tennyson’s words and those above quotes.

But enough about my abilities, understanding matters of the heart and libido, and vast experience gained. Let’s get to the Greatest Love Stories, shall we? Or at least those stories on cinematic celluloid.

Here are my Top Four Love Stories on film:

#4 — Silver Linings Playbook (2012):

#3 — Her (2013):

#2 — Out of Africa (1985), sorry, ignore the subtitles:

#1 — About Time (2013):

There are several other scenes I absolutely adore and crack-up about in this exceptional love movie and seizing the moment, seizing the present invitations for the fullest life led and sucking its marrow out completely. But I reluctantly and happily chose the single above scene. There’s at least 4-5 more great, profound scenes. But oh well.

What are your four all-time favorite, Greatest Love Stories… on film or in literature? Share them below.

Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always

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Still Something More

Are you familiar with the Drake Equation? Do you know what it “equates”?

If you don’t know, here is a brief explanation by Space.com:

The Drake Equation is used to estimate the number of communicating civilizations in our galaxy, or more simply put, the odds of finding intelligent life in the Milky Way.

Note that the definition states only or strictly inside the Milky Way, our very own galaxy. And how many more galaxies are out there? According to the Hubble Space telescope scientists and mathematicians and their subsequent estimations, roughly 200-billion just within the OBSERVABLE Universe.

Basically, as there is indeed more than dust we see with our naked eye and beyond that more than just molecules, atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons, and probably more than even Quarks, there is just as likely “Still Something More” out there in interstellar space. It certainly stands to reason.

It is because of these above concepts and verifiable principles/proofs that today I can give you song; song that speaks VOLUMES without my words, but with musical notes and lyrics… which speak, which pronounce that truly there is and excitingly always will be…

“Something More!”

There is always something more. If one cares to discover more, to stop, listen, observe, examine, absorb, and TRULY understand all, all the nuts and bolts. By doing so then there will be… more! A lot more!

Yet, this begs our rat-race society a question, or more… How much time/effort do we commit to, set aside to actually DO those six things I listed? Are you hasty, have no time, too shallow to stop and observe? Or do you really slow down, apply those six attributes in your life with other people? This begs another question, Do you spend irreplaceable time WITH other humans doing those six things or spend irreplaceable time doing NON-human activities?

I ask you genuinely, honestly, truthfully to think about it! Pay close attention to the following lyrics as you listen to the apropos tune. Then, if you like, share your thoughts below.

Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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Why? What For?

I am going to be frank. These last 16-18 months have been hard, VERY hard here in Texas and the U.S. And it is not just me.

I was asked today “Why do you insist on living where you live?” The mere fact that the question was asked was indicative of the ignorance of the person asking. They obviously did not know, could not comprehend—not that they really tried—to have any clue WHY I live where I want to live and WHY I live the way I want to live.

Does it really take such brutal honesty, in their face words, to infer upon them WHY I am who I am and I am where I want to be right now?

Yes.

I have learned over many decades that yes, it does indeed take frank, BLUNT honesty to make many people see, to understand what it means to “be true to one’s self.” And isn’t that what a life well lived is all about? To live true to self? To live in a way that impacts not only others, but also makes yourself whole? That you BELONG in this time, right here, right now if you are acutely aware of your place and purpose… with everyone you are with and your family?

I say yes. Actually, I scream YES!

What else is living life for(?)… with those you deeply love and care for and try to play your important part in the big scheme of everyone in this time, in this moment?

~ ~ ~ § ~ ~ ~

About a week ago I FINALLY went—physically—to my needed in-person doctors follow-up appointment. It had been over a year since I was able to do so. I suspect MANY people were not able to physically, in-person, see their physician… because of the whole COVID-19 disaster.

A week later, after blood-work and necessary lab-work my doctor felt necessary to obtain, for understandable causes that he was seeing in most all of his patients, he wanted additional tests with my blood-work. Unfortunately, a lot more money too for this lab-work. But it was very needed. Most intelligent people/patients understood that going over 1-year without physically seeing your physician and not being able to give your blood to them… was critically important.

My physician reentered my Exam Room and asked, “I would like to also test your Vitamin D levels. Is that okay? It is an additional cost of X-amount of dollars (not cheap), but I really think it is important to check. Is that alright?” I replied yes of course. “I expected the entire gament of whatever you wanted” I said to him “in this overdue visit. That’s fine.

Those results have come back. Not only were they not good, my physician said “Dwain, they are horrendous.

Apparently the healthy range for a person’s vitamin D level is 30-100 (ng/mL). My doctor told me mine was a dismal, shocking “9.” I could hear it in his voicemail to me.

If you do not know why vitamin D is important to our health, allow me to briefly explain. WebMD.com explains Vitamin D Defiency this way:

If you shun the sun, suffer from milk allergies, or adhere to a strict vegan diet, you may be at risk for vitamin D deficiency. Known as the sunshine vitamin, vitamin D is produced by the body in response to skin being exposed to sunlight. It is also occurs naturally in a few foods—including some fish, fish liver oils, and egg yolks—and in fortified dairy and grain products.

Vitamin D is essential for strong bones, because it helps the body use calcium from the diet. Traditionally, vitamin D deficiency has been associated with rickets, a disease in which the bone tissue doesn’t properly mineralize, leading to soft bones and skeletal deformities. But increasingly, research is revealing the importance of vitamin D in protecting against a host of health problems.

Needless to say, prolonged vitamin D deficiency from not being out and about, in the Sun, with or without others (strangers included) is NOT GOOD for a healthy human life. Well DUH, right? But that hasn’t really been so possible for the last 16-18 months has it?

But in indirect ways I knew this was the sort of sacrifice the team HAD to do. I have been a recluse, a hermit basically, for the last year and four or six months. Why? Because that’s public health & safety. Plain and simple. I also wore a mask every time I HAD to got out in public for necessary life-priority items. I also stayed at least 6-10 feet away from anyone—despite the fact that many DID NOT do that and worse, were not wearing a god dayum mask! Which disturbed me and kept me inside, alone, out of the Sun (for vitamin D) so that I would not contribute MORE death, MORE hospitalizations to overrun, overburdened hospitals and ICU’s.

Despite my happy sacrifice for “the team,” for the public, for a known recovery and possible elimination of this god dayum viral pandemic, I am now Vitamin D Deficient along with 4-5 other medical conditions exacerbated by this virus. This is not to mention the OTHER ripple-effects, impacts (financially) this continued pandemic has caused… because Texas and America DOES NOT have enough “team players.

For the rest of the world, PLEASE PLEASE do not call us by anything other than the Disunited States of America. We have far too many egotistical, self-gratifying imbeciles to be worthy of a name, an honorable team-name such as the UNITED States of America. No, that has disappeared many years ago because we prefer to nurture, promote, and celebrate individuals, those who do whatever they fucking wish “In the name of freedom, liberty, blah blah blah…” and NOT for a greater good, but instead for their own benefit, their own ideology, their own patriotism, wealth and political party. God Bless America and God Bless our opulent Wealth—Screw Everyone Else.

Que the national anthem… “Star Spangled Banner” of American Self, Self, and more wealthy Self. Dog eat dog and screw everyone else. We are the nation everyone wants to immigrate to. HAH! How very very funny and yet, incomprehensibly a Catch-22. Ah, maybe it’s just Texas. 🥴


By the way, I am trying very hard to finish my family vacation posts with pictures, videos and tales of joy, laughter, and foolery of our adventures to the beautiful Mackinac Island, Michigan. Unfortunately, many extenuating circumstances here keep impeding this progress—all due ultimately to new COVID-19 variants and their ripple-effects everywhere in life. Plain and simple.


Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Science Always

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