Something utterly remarkable happened the other day! If it had happened any other way in any other form or time, you’d never believe me. I’m not sure I believe me or this whackyfied life. I am altogether ecstatic and devastated at the same time by its enormity.

It was as if you had been searching endlessly for Waldo for many years and suddenly, he walks up behind you and taps you on the shoulder, then says, “Have you been looking for me?” Dumbfounded and in shock you can only stutter in a whispered reply, “If you only knew.”

These are moments that most 8-billion people on Earth wish for or dream about. You know, beyond any shadow of a doubt just how rare an occurrence this is for a lifetime, likely several lifetimes. This is how it all began…

My day had started as most any other day would. Slowly, VERY slowly and awkwardly roll out of bed or fight to get out of bed like a flipped-over-on-its-shell Galápagos turtle. I struggle to make a simple cup of joe/coffee, go open up all the kitchen and living room blinds, then make my way outside to water all the flowers and plants so that they have a chance not to wilt and spontaneously combust in the unrelenting Texas, USA, and global firestorm heatwave these last 45–60 days. So far, so good. Until I remembered once the coffee-maker finished with my Brazilian Cafezinho (from the state of Rio de Janeiro) that… damn it, we are out of creamer, and not just any ole generic creamer—my Amaretto creamer. Not good, not at all good.

I grab my wallet, grab the car-keys, and grab my cell phone then jump into the Toyota Avalon to head to the somewhat nearby popular H-E-B grocer. This is where things began to get bizarre.

After arriving at the store, entering through the automatic doors, then locating Aisle 8 and the accompanying dairy section, I quickly, or rather impatiently turn the corner. Serendipitously I slam face and body straight into this lady. Her held items go flying everywhere, all over the floor followed by… yep…

The stricken-by-a-Mack-truck gorgeous woman onto her backside and ass. She glares at me for a second or two, and in the most seductive voice says…

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