It has been quite some time since I’ve had a bit of free time to draft and publish a blog-post. Why is that you ask? Well, several reasons to be honest. One right now, this morning, I’m somewhat free because Mom, who is now into Early Alzheimer’s Disease stayed up until at least 4:30am last night. This typically means she sleeps until 1pm–3pm. Hence, I am currently semi-uninterrupted by her and her frequent needs. As such I can operate around the house and free from her same questions of me several times throughout the day and night. 🙂 Reason #1.
A second reason is due to Mom’s gradual decline over the last 3-years and noticeably so the last 4-6 months and my tasks, chores, and managing ALL of her financial and business affairs, her daily-nightly meds, her two meals a day/evening, including healthy gourmet dishes and recipes I prepare each day and have been over the last 1,316 days, usually takes up most 12–14 hours of my days and nights. Yes, I am a one man Dog & Pony Show day in and day out. Not much free time to blog.
The most critical reason I have not been able to blog for awhile is twofold:
- 1) Since February 2024 my sister (well, not so much my sister) and I were trying to transition my Mom into an Assisted Living Memory Care facility in Kerrville by the end of July this year. The months of April, May, June, and early July were a literal high-stress, high-anxiety 3 1/2 months for me beyond anything I’ve had to handle all my life.
- I was having to handle Mom’s second laborious Texas Medicaid application to assist her with the high exuberant costs of modern elderly dementia healthcare. Anyone who’s familiar with Medicaid apps knows what a prolonged nightmare the process becomes. To say too much detailed personal information is a gross understatement.
- I was having to handle the transfer of vehicle titles (three in Mom’s name) over to myself—two Toyotas to me—and one Dodge to my sister which Mom years earlier had bought for her. Why was this a must? Texas Medicaid considers all property as a wealth asset to eventually deny applicants if the assets are too much, like $1,500 total. Ridiculous! This was a lengthy process, especially when the state’s Tax Assessor computer network frequently went down. 😡 Naturally, she “gifted” for free these two Toyotas to me because she absolutely cannot make any profits on the sales; it would disqualify her Medicaid app immediately.
- I was handling the search for an above-average to great ALMC facility that wasn’t above $4,700/mon and would accept Medicare and Medicaid. A very tough ask here in rural Texas. Most good-to-great nursing facilities are $5,200–$7,000 per month and rising every year in the Texas Hill Country, and sadly we live in a very wealthy Kerr County. Many wealthy retirees here and thus it is a HUGE revenue market for private geriatric retirement homes, apartments, and nursing-rehab facilities. None of which accept Medicare or Medicaid. Incredibly frustrating.
- I was still handling all the daily house chores, particularly non-stop kitchen cleaning—Mom won’t clean up after herself—healthy gourmet meal preparations, her doctor appointments and prescription refills, her morning and evening meds consumption at correct times of the day/evening, as mentioned her entire finances, bill payments, etc., including monthly fights with her retirement health coverage through ExxonMobil Service Benefits who royally fucked up her payments account while transitioning onto a newer, “improved” website platform. They informed us after their massive screw-up that we owed them $787+ in missed payments from the previous two years 2022–2023 due immediately! 🤬 Needless to say, there was no way in hell we could come up with $787+ to keep her ExxonMobil Health Benefits with Aetna. We were already struggling bad to make ends meet after the previous 2-3 years of hyper-inflation and corporate America gouging us at every opportunity! I also had to manage Mom’s Long-Term Care Insurance policy premiums—$471 quarterly—that she would absolutely NEED at a ALMC facility. To make matters worse, Mom’s Social Security Benefits only barely kept us afloat! Then to make that worse, she received too much SSI benefits to qualify for Medicaid! Incredibly infuriating. 😡
- 2) All this heavy stress, anxiety, and overwhelming busy days for 1,316 days, the last 3 1/2 months the absolute worst, fighting constantly corporate America… has all taken a major toll on my own health as a one-man show Caretaker. On June 23rd, 2024, at 11:35pm I was taken by ambulance to the ER and hospitalized for four nights as I was having troubled labored breathing, zero strength, and becoming incoherent. My long-time nurse friend up in Dallas, TX told me I was on my way to having a stroke. See image below.
At first, this above bill was over $15,000+. I have seven other bills from doctors, laboratories, and the EMT ambulance bill all totaling over $21,500 on top of my more frequent PCP follow-up doctor visits, and now my new cardiologist bill because I now have tachycardia and AFib of the heart. 😔
One thing that is not obvious above, my last 4-years, particularly in April, May, June and early July, of being Mom’s full-time, overtime Caretaker for 14-18 hours per day/night is my increased alcohol consumption to keep my sanity. It has been my self-medication to stay relaxed. Also, due to my inability to stay in Dallas long-term—always having to move back down to help my mother and 48+ year addict/psych sister—has pushed me into chronic depression, now major depression. Enter escitalopram, in addition to my other prescription meds over the years: amlodipine, lisinopril, atorvastatin, and now blood-thinner med.
So there you have it, my last 4-months and 3-years here in small rural, redneck Kerrville, Texas, not having or able to have (yet) my own fun happy life in Dallas. By the way, due to Mom and I selling her large ranchita home here in December 2019 for over $535,700, she was quickly disqualified for Medicaid assistance for 2024 in August. Utterly exhausting and disheartening after several months of work toward Mom’s transition into a good ALMC facility. My plans to return to Dallas, Texas have been postponed until August 2025. 🤦♂️
There is much more I have left out here, not the least of which has been my sister’s 4-5 drug relapses since I moved back down here in August 2021. I’m not going into how badly that effects Mom, and frustrates the living fire out of me. Since I’ve returned home from hospital, she rarely comes around anymore to see Mom or help me out, which she asked me this question back at the end of June, “Dwain, what can we do to keep you from being hospitalized again?” My answer was fast: I need more of your help here with Mom and the constant chores. It is all way too much for me without any help from Mom.
She has done the exact opposite of what I asked from her. Hardly ever around.
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
The Professor’s Convatorium © 2023 by Professor Taboo is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0
The Professor's Convatorium 