Third Monday

Dad's note - c. 1958

Dad’s note – c. 1958

On the third Monday of every January, we remember and celebrate one of America’s greatest civil rights warrior Martin Luther King, Jr. Today I reflect back on a handwritten note my Uncle gave me not too long ago. It was written by my Dad in about 1955-1962 when he was a young man from tiny Alta Loma, TX and headed off to the University of Texas Austin. I never knew this note existed until my Uncle — a close dear brother-in-law to my father — brought it to me and shared its context. It meant a lot to my Uncle because my father meant a lot to him. Uncle Dale and my Dad had enormous mutual respect and fondness for each other. They saw eye-to-eye on many social and political issues of the day. It feels right to share the note here today. It is entitled “Children Learn What They Live” by Dorothy Law Nolte, a popular American writer and family counselor of my Dad’s era. A picture of the note is above.

I remember throughout my childhood all the way up through my senior year of high school, Dad would often tell me that people are not born to hate, not born to kill, and not born to discriminate unless they are taught to do it and surrounded by it. That was not, he would adamantly explain, the definition of true freedom, true liberty, true equality in which our nation was supposedly founded! Furthermore, those three principles do not fully exist if it is not safe for someone here to be unpopular, like Martin Luther King, Jr. in the 60’s. If only one person in society is scared for their life or safety, for merely being different or thinking different, then the whole society IS NOT a free one. It is something less or worse.

It is amazing, probably appalling, that since 1775 and the words of our Declaration of Independence that “all men are created equal“, since 1863 and again the same words from our Emancipation Proclamation, since the hundred years of Jim Crow Laws from 1866 to 1965 which after 1776 should have never existed, since the 1900’s and Women’s Suffrage, and then still today in the 21st century, the United States is STILL dealing with forms of inequality and civil rights violations. A foreigner looking in to our shores — with our Statue of Liberty in the foreground — would quite rightly scream, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?

To that foreigner I would respond ashamed repeating what my father taught me… “because it is still being taught.” Hate, violence, killing, discrimination, prejudice, bigotry, elitism, and divisiveness are all taught. It starts with the parents and family, then the immediate community, and if unchecked, continues through following generations. It is there at the roots and in those hearts that it must be untaught and the cycle broken.

Happy MLK Day everyone! And please remember the cost and continuing responsibility required to protect our fragile freedom, liberty, and equality for not just a few, or those in distant lands, but for ALL Americans right here within our own national borders! We’ve progressed a bit in 240 years, but we still have a ways to go!

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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Sometimes

Attaching music to a message is one great way to make that message stick and stick deep in the heart and soul.  As I have been hearing and reading lately the news about equality for all American citizens of all races, religion, ethnicity, and ever so inevitably…gender and orientation — Minnesota being the latest — I thought of this artist and song.  I think it (and feel it) very appropriate for these wonderful and right Winds of Change.  This post is somewhat a continuation of the previous post:  along the lines of genetic and hormonal development in all people.

NordhausenI can only imagine how scary it must be and feel to be chastised for simply being biologically and neurologically different than the accepted norm since being in your mother’s womb; being different since your embryonic stage.  What a sometimes hopeless feeling not to understand why so many people think you and/or call you inferior, sick, or worse a product of evil.  In some homes growing up, the bitterness and shaming could even turn violent if a mother or father had a volatile temper.  When I thoroughly imagine those horrid circumstances at home or in public, like at school, or possibly every corner you turn….it begins to enrage me against moronic uninformed uneducated bigotry; let alone a lack of compassion, understanding, and peaceful tolerance.  Imagine a young child or teen not understanding their “unusual” feelings that seemingly NO ONE agrees with or condones.  And perhaps they are always so ready to pound you into conformity for something which was firmly developed in your embryonic stage!  If you would like to be quickly tutored on exactly what scientific medical research has been compiling for non-standardized gender relations….read my post Toss the 2-D Glasses.  Meanwhile, listen, read the lyrics, and hopefully enjoy this relevant song “Sometimes” by the German band And One.

Daddy said that I’m a good boy
Caus I always did his will
But I can’t remember,
was it me – how did I feel
I call’em family,
but in the heart of hearts I know
There’s something wrong with me,
what can I do?

Mother said that I’m a good girl
I was always dressed to kill
But I can’t remember,
was it me – how did I feel
Now this is long ago
But today I’m really sure
I don’t wanna crawl no more
No I don’t want to

I want to be all alone
(to be all alone)
(leave me all alone)
(I’m so lonely)
Sometimes I don’t know what I prefer to be
That’s all that I can see

So I burnt down the house of hate
The key to close the door
What a nice September
I found out it’s not too late
Its happened yesterday
But today I’m really sure
I don’t wanna crawl no more
No I don’t want to

I want to be all alone
(to be all alone)
(leave me all alone)
(I’m so lonely)
Sometimes I don’t know what I prefer to be
That’s all that I can see

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