Pigeon-holed

Films based on a great, even superb story and script, offer so much to life. One such film is my all-time favorite “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” starring Judi Dench, Tom Wilkinson, and several other fantastic actors. There is one particular scene in the film where Graham Dashwood, played by Tom Wilkinson, and Evelyn Greenslade played by Judi Dench, had just finished their evening dinner in the hotel and are both retiring to their bedrooms. Below is the film’s script from that point…

GRAHAM (CONT’D)
“Mrs Greenslade?”

EVELYN
“Evelyn.”

GRAHAM
“Can I show you something?”

74 INT. GRAHAM’S ROOM – NIGHT 74

Moments later. Evelyn is sitting in front of Graham’s
collage.

GRAHAM
“I grew up here. Just a short
drive away. It was a big house,
and we had servants, everyone
did. We knew their wives, their
children. One boy, Manoj, became
my friend. We played a lot of
cricket together, played anything
we could. And that’s how it
stayed for years. Until one
night, he became something more.”

(BEAT)
“We had a few months, we had that.
There was a weekend in Udaipur,
we sat by a lake and watched the
sun go down, and I remember
thinking . I will never be this
happy again. And I was right.
Because quite suddenly it was
over. We’d fallen asleep, and
they found us.”

(MORE)

47.
GRAHAM (CONT’D)

(BEAT)
“For me it was bad enough. But I
already knew who I was, and I
think my family had guessed. For
Manoj, the disgrace was absolute;
a double taboo. His father was
fired, they were sent away, all
of them. I don’t know what I
could’ve done, but it should’ve
been more than nothing. I put up
no fight. I let it happen.”

(BEAT)
“Soon afterwards I went to
England, to University. I always
told myself I’d come back. But I
never did.”

EVELYN
“Until now.”

GRAHAM
“And now I think .. what if I am
the last person on earth he wants
to see?”
Evelyn says nothing.

GRAHAM (CONT’D)
“I don’t think I can go through
with it.”

EVELYN
“Do you want to see him again?”

GRAHAM
“Yes. Yes. Oh yes.”

EVELYN
“Then you must.”

I can’t imagine what humiliation and pain Graham must have felt (and still feels?) while his close friend Manoj suffered an even more severe public punishment; a punishment for something that was purely natural, purely human. I felt my heart sink into my stomach for them. I thought to myself, “what a horrible, horrible place to have to be born into and live through.” I’ve experienced places and people just like it. Though this is just a movie, the reality is that Manoj’s and Graham’s world is our reality too.

I will never be able to phathom WHY a person would want to create such a suffocating puritanical life void of more compassion, tolerance, understanding, but instead wrought with bitterness, hate, and self-righteousness…as if a theocracy was the more noble cause. Excuse me while I go throw-up.

Since I was unable to find this specific scene above on the internet, I will play another similar scene from another of my favorite films:

Love was never designed to be one-dimensional. It is not merely erotic or romantic or sexual. It does not distinguish between genders. It is expansive….so expansive that some cannot imagine or allow, however, that does not diminish acts of love or its unstoppable power and goodness. It will always be.

I’ve often concluded some posts with “Fear stifles, courage fulfills.” Though it would be proper now, I will instead end it this way….

Piety stifles, love fulfills.  Conformity stifles, beauty fulfills…and excites.

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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Sometimes

Attaching music to a message is one great way to make that message stick and stick deep in the heart and soul.  As I have been hearing and reading lately the news about equality for all American citizens of all races, religion, ethnicity, and ever so inevitably…gender and orientation — Minnesota being the latest — I thought of this artist and song.  I think it (and feel it) very appropriate for these wonderful and right Winds of Change.  This post is somewhat a continuation of the previous post:  along the lines of genetic and hormonal development in all people.

NordhausenI can only imagine how scary it must be and feel to be chastised for simply being biologically and neurologically different than the accepted norm since being in your mother’s womb; being different since your embryonic stage.  What a sometimes hopeless feeling not to understand why so many people think you and/or call you inferior, sick, or worse a product of evil.  In some homes growing up, the bitterness and shaming could even turn violent if a mother or father had a volatile temper.  When I thoroughly imagine those horrid circumstances at home or in public, like at school, or possibly every corner you turn….it begins to enrage me against moronic uninformed uneducated bigotry; let alone a lack of compassion, understanding, and peaceful tolerance.  Imagine a young child or teen not understanding their “unusual” feelings that seemingly NO ONE agrees with or condones.  And perhaps they are always so ready to pound you into conformity for something which was firmly developed in your embryonic stage!  If you would like to be quickly tutored on exactly what scientific medical research has been compiling for non-standardized gender relations….read my post Toss the 2-D Glasses.  Meanwhile, listen, read the lyrics, and hopefully enjoy this relevant song “Sometimes” by the German band And One.

Daddy said that I’m a good boy
Caus I always did his will
But I can’t remember,
was it me – how did I feel
I call’em family,
but in the heart of hearts I know
There’s something wrong with me,
what can I do?

Mother said that I’m a good girl
I was always dressed to kill
But I can’t remember,
was it me – how did I feel
Now this is long ago
But today I’m really sure
I don’t wanna crawl no more
No I don’t want to

I want to be all alone
(to be all alone)
(leave me all alone)
(I’m so lonely)
Sometimes I don’t know what I prefer to be
That’s all that I can see

So I burnt down the house of hate
The key to close the door
What a nice September
I found out it’s not too late
Its happened yesterday
But today I’m really sure
I don’t wanna crawl no more
No I don’t want to

I want to be all alone
(to be all alone)
(leave me all alone)
(I’m so lonely)
Sometimes I don’t know what I prefer to be
That’s all that I can see

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Will the Real America Please Standup

“By the people…”

As I began teaching my middle school and high school students one day about the meaning and power of American citizenship, I realized that several of the basic concepts of our government and how it functions the same from bottom to top seemed alien, even to the high schoolers.  I had been taught these principles by my parents before I reached fifth grade.  As a result, I guided my students back through a quick review and retaught some of these basic concepts and methods, all used successfully in our country (for the most part) for the last 230 plus years.  But something else struck me as peculiar.

Many adults have the same naïvety as my students I stand before in my classroom.  Of course the reasons for this naïvety should not be oversimplified.  However, as is the case with any child on any given day, disabilities or not, they learn how to manipulate situations to meet what their natural, youthful self-centeredness desires.  Recognizing this side of human nature, history shows that if this type of attitude and behavior is not modified at an early age, or at least addressed, then the families of the United States of America grow and nurture adults with firmly learned compounded narrow-mindedness; youthful egotists in adult bodies if you will.  Two integral components of a productive, proactive American adult is neglected:  ownership and collaboration.  How often do you hear these two simple terms in politics?  More to the point, how often do you hear the terms and their real meaning during Presidential election years?

The making of American citizens

I am constantly baffled by American citizens whining incessantly about the current President and or his political party.  In just about any public place or on any public forum or social media, you can always find jabs and derogatory remarks about one man, or one political ideal screwing up this country.  Sadly, I hear this from my middle and high school students just as much!  Where on earth are they hearing or being taught this annoying whining about one man or one ideal?  I promise you this, not in my classroom and I hope not in any publicly funded classroom!  By the way, American people are not ruled, governed, or enslaved by or to one man.  It has thankfully been this way for yes, 235 something years.  If the American public are proactive in their families, communities, states, and federal government — as has been given to them freely according to our Constitution — and proactive in self-ownership of their elected officials, then the reality is this:  YOU are the one to whine about.

Also, if you find yourself in the “minority” of American laws and policies, then once again our system of government freely provides to you the methods of COLLABORATION within your community, state, and federal groups to begin your revolution of change.  That is exactly how our nation’s forefathers constructed our government in the 1700’s and setting it up the same for you today.

Yet, do not be fooled into thinking that “revolutionary change” is in any way done by “THEM“.  On the contrary, it is you who must be actively or proactively involved.  You must sacrifice your own time and efforts to gain the change you seek.  It is you who must learn to be a master of collaboration and diplomacy, not “them“.  If you are truly convicted about your policies and ideology, then YOU become the next Thomas Jefferson, or Abraham Lincoln, or Martin Luther King, Jr.  And I, as your equal, will first educate myself thoroughly on your dream of change, and if it coincides with my ideals, then perhaps together we can collaborate and take ownership of our social system as it was meant to be in the first place, and make those changes happen.

Good government starts in your own family

However, allow me to point out that before you can create a better America, or a better state or community, you must first have your own house and family in good, happy working order.  The cliché “Those who can be trusted with the little things, can be trusted with the greater things” is never more true in this case.  What is taught, nurtured, and matured in the home will either add to or subtract from our country.  More precisely, if you were taught the basic principles of ownership, collaboration (teamwork), understanding, and tolerance for diversity, then your chances of making America better are profoundly excellent.  If not, then you will find yourself always swimming upstream with no one to aid you, no matter how much you whine aloud.

President Obama, or the political party he affiliates himself, have never been the entire problem America faces today.  Americans are sleeping in the very bed they have made for themselves.  Whether it is a lack of principles, education, family values, collaboration, or whatever your slogan, take ownership America for your inactivity in local, state, and federal government, or your shortcomings of collaboration, understanding, and intolerance.  But quit blaming “them”.  Quit blaming one man.  Pointing fingers at opposing political officials only demonstrates a severe lack of collaboration and ownership.  Our governing officials, laws and policies are only a mirror of not only each American citizen’s voice, but equally our societal depth, from our own family right up to our federal officials.

President Obama, proudly take your seat.  It isn’t your lack of leadership that has America in this predicament.  It is each of us citizens, on every level; so…will the REAL America please standup, act collaboratively, and take ownership of your country’s good and bad.  Our current economic and societal woes are “…for the people, BY the people“.  It does not say by one man.

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