Imagine For A Minute

I am temporarily stepping away from my current blog-series “Untapped Worlds” to write about a well-known touchy, deservedly sensitive subject. I think it is a very important subject and I want to present a variation of it to my male audience.

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aston_martin_rapide

The Aston Martin Rapide

Imagine for a minute Sir, you are at home — your home that you have constructed or refurbished or added-on by your hard-earned money — enjoying your comfortable couch or recliner in front of your 110-inch flat-panel HDTV with stereo surround-sound. In back…your quality-landscaped swimming pool and backyard with multi-level BBQ grill and pit. Behind there, your very own workshop/garage complete with a mechanic’s and carpenter’s dream inventory of high-end tools. Inside the three-door garage/workshop, your very own Bugatti Veyron or Aston Martin.

Up in your bedroom closet, complete sets of high-end business suits, a tuxedo for annual charity balls, 3 or 4 sets of the best men’s dress and casual shoes that money can buy, dress-ties and so on. Obviously, this type of living, home, and possessions are indicative of your wealthy salary: $200k – $500k per year or more? If I’ve forgotten any other lavishing items, please add them to your imaginative picture for a minute.

Then you hear some laughing outside in the back. A big splash soon follows. Then smoke slowly moves across your 8-windowed back living room wall that offers a spectacular vista into your luscious oasis around the pool and 1-acre lawn — the smoke is coming from your BBQ pit. No one is home but you; your fabulous wife of 17-years is out for the day with your 3 children! You quickly walk out the backdoor to find complete strangers using and obviously enjoying all your backyard amenities. How would feel? How would you react?

MacAllan ScotchOr what about another scenario. Imagine for a minute you have been out to a nice upscale 5-star restaurant with valet parking. After 2-3 hours of superb cuisine you and your wife decide to leave, walk out to the valet-station to have your Aston Martin brought up, and the Supervisor tells you and your wife, you must wait…wait for 10-15 minutes because four other valets just HAD to take your phenomenal wheels out for a spin themselves. How would you feel? How would you react?

Here’s another scenario. Imagine for a minute you’ve allowed some of your college frat buddies to come over to your palatial home to hangout, drink, and watch a game against your bitter college rivals. A few hours later you notice one of the guys is wearing one of your expensive dress shirts as well as some of your expensive jewelry and watch! Another buddy has found your basement wine cellar and popped-open one of your vintage bottles of wine, or best MacAllan scotch, and neither were upstairs on the kitchen counter with the cooler of beer! How would you feel? How would you react?

Men, I could come up with many more scenarios with your workshop tools, or even precious family heirlooms, or irreplaceable photos, but I hope you’re getting the idea.

What It Feels Like?

The above scenarios I have just described are pretty much how it feels to a woman when she is inappropriately spoken to, inappropriately touched or “grazed,” or sexually harassed by a man lacking proper gentleman’s etiquette, let alone ignoring common above-average respect for a woman. It is uninvited. Period. Some of the time the circumstances MIGHT be grey, vague, or appear grey/vague to YOU, but if there’s any level of uncertainty, what is your best course of action preserving her dignity? Are you aware of your own, how it appears?

When I’ve talked about these types of awkward or inappropriate situations, “violated” is one word I’ve heard women describe most to me. There is very little difference (if any at all) in their feelings of insult than what WE MEN might feel about our “precious stuff” at home or at our jobs. Get the picture?

I bring this subject up because I’ve encountered many men (particularly in the U.S. south) who implicitly or explicitly view and speak of their girlfriend/spouse or women in general as property they’ve “bought” or trying to buy, and subsequently own the Title-Deed. Sadly, to continue the analogy, this behaviour and thinking is WORSE when a woman’s “Title-Deed” is available or unpurchased, on-the-market; i.e. unmarried.

Men, this mentality must change! In all its forms and subtleties, the barbarism must stop.

And for you/us chivalrous gentlemen out there, WE must have consistent courage to firmly, tactfully, and in prompt dignifying ways step-in when a woman’s dignity is being grossly disrespected. Otherwise, by sitting idly by you perpetuate the problem for future women…possibly for your own daughter(s) and grand-daughters.

Post-script — I welcome any suggestions or further comments/additions to this post from my female readers. Please feel free to share them with us.

Addendum — the comments below will show that my approach to this subject could’ve been better, but for the sake of the topic — from my subjective perspective — and honesty, I believe I am going to leave my original content alone and allow the discussions below to help out. I hope it is constructive.

Live Well — Laugh Often — Love Much — Learn Always

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How’s that working out? — Part Two

As part of the Alternative Lifestyles blog-posts migration over to the new blog The Professor’s Lifestyles Memoirs, this post has been moved there. To read this post please click the link to the blog.

Your patience is appreciated. Thank you!

How’s that working out?

As part of the Alternative Lifestyles blog-posts migration over to the new blog The Professor’s Lifestyles Memoirs, this post has been moved there. To read this post please click the link to the blog.

Your patience is appreciated. Thank you!

Will the Real America Please Standup

“By the people…”

As I began teaching my middle school and high school students one day about the meaning and power of American citizenship, I realized that several of the basic concepts of our government and how it functions the same from bottom to top seemed alien, even to the high schoolers.  I had been taught these principles by my parents before I reached fifth grade.  As a result, I guided my students back through a quick review and retaught some of these basic concepts and methods, all used successfully in our country (for the most part) for the last 230 plus years.  But something else struck me as peculiar.

Many adults have the same naïvety as my students I stand before in my classroom.  Of course the reasons for this naïvety should not be oversimplified.  However, as is the case with any child on any given day, disabilities or not, they learn how to manipulate situations to meet what their natural, youthful self-centeredness desires.  Recognizing this side of human nature, history shows that if this type of attitude and behavior is not modified at an early age, or at least addressed, then the families of the United States of America grow and nurture adults with firmly learned compounded narrow-mindedness; youthful egotists in adult bodies if you will.  Two integral components of a productive, proactive American adult is neglected:  ownership and collaboration.  How often do you hear these two simple terms in politics?  More to the point, how often do you hear the terms and their real meaning during Presidential election years?

The making of American citizens

I am constantly baffled by American citizens whining incessantly about the current President and or his political party.  In just about any public place or on any public forum or social media, you can always find jabs and derogatory remarks about one man, or one political ideal screwing up this country.  Sadly, I hear this from my middle and high school students just as much!  Where on earth are they hearing or being taught this annoying whining about one man or one ideal?  I promise you this, not in my classroom and I hope not in any publicly funded classroom!  By the way, American people are not ruled, governed, or enslaved by or to one man.  It has thankfully been this way for yes, 235 something years.  If the American public are proactive in their families, communities, states, and federal government — as has been given to them freely according to our Constitution — and proactive in self-ownership of their elected officials, then the reality is this:  YOU are the one to whine about.

Also, if you find yourself in the “minority” of American laws and policies, then once again our system of government freely provides to you the methods of COLLABORATION within your community, state, and federal groups to begin your revolution of change.  That is exactly how our nation’s forefathers constructed our government in the 1700’s and setting it up the same for you today.

Yet, do not be fooled into thinking that “revolutionary change” is in any way done by “THEM“.  On the contrary, it is you who must be actively or proactively involved.  You must sacrifice your own time and efforts to gain the change you seek.  It is you who must learn to be a master of collaboration and diplomacy, not “them“.  If you are truly convicted about your policies and ideology, then YOU become the next Thomas Jefferson, or Abraham Lincoln, or Martin Luther King, Jr.  And I, as your equal, will first educate myself thoroughly on your dream of change, and if it coincides with my ideals, then perhaps together we can collaborate and take ownership of our social system as it was meant to be in the first place, and make those changes happen.

Good government starts in your own family

However, allow me to point out that before you can create a better America, or a better state or community, you must first have your own house and family in good, happy working order.  The cliché “Those who can be trusted with the little things, can be trusted with the greater things” is never more true in this case.  What is taught, nurtured, and matured in the home will either add to or subtract from our country.  More precisely, if you were taught the basic principles of ownership, collaboration (teamwork), understanding, and tolerance for diversity, then your chances of making America better are profoundly excellent.  If not, then you will find yourself always swimming upstream with no one to aid you, no matter how much you whine aloud.

President Obama, or the political party he affiliates himself, have never been the entire problem America faces today.  Americans are sleeping in the very bed they have made for themselves.  Whether it is a lack of principles, education, family values, collaboration, or whatever your slogan, take ownership America for your inactivity in local, state, and federal government, or your shortcomings of collaboration, understanding, and intolerance.  But quit blaming “them”.  Quit blaming one man.  Pointing fingers at opposing political officials only demonstrates a severe lack of collaboration and ownership.  Our governing officials, laws and policies are only a mirror of not only each American citizen’s voice, but equally our societal depth, from our own family right up to our federal officials.

President Obama, proudly take your seat.  It isn’t your lack of leadership that has America in this predicament.  It is each of us citizens, on every level; so…will the REAL America please standup, act collaboratively, and take ownership of your country’s good and bad.  Our current economic and societal woes are “…for the people, BY the people“.  It does not say by one man.

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