In Tempus Perverse

For the last several weeks I have been in a discussion, on various blog-posts and a public forum here in my area about a story, a way of thinking and living. It has been stimulating and enlightening to hear and read various testimonies from others. I want to share a satire of it and get your thoughts.

What if all forms of authority in your life — law-enforcement, government, parents, utility companies, military — told you that you must return to and use 18th, 17th, and 16th century personal, household, and public items and products? You can no longer use modern items in your daily life. No more cell phone, no more automobile or anything other than two-wheeled equipment, no more electricity, no more GPS, no more vaccinations or modern over-the-counter medicine, no more tapes or glues, no more television, no more contraceptives, no more modern kitchen appliances. If you try, you will be imprisoned for a minimum of 20-years; repeat offenders 40-years or suicide. Imagine, seriously imagine having to do this for an indefinite period of time.

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How would you like it? Would you welcome the digress or would you complain and rebel? What would be the advantages of returning to a bygone era? What are the disadvantages?

If you are one of the thousands or millions who do not wish to return to a time of no penicillin, no 24-hour deodorant, no contraceptives, or no indoor plumbing, then you would be quite modernistic, quite progressive, to state the obvious. Why choose that if you don’t have to? Remarkably, there are millions of people who willingly elect to return or stay firmly entrenched in an antiquated, flawed life-paradigm no matter its expired ancient condition.

Time, insight, wisdom, and progress never stop. That is a universal law. It is human nature to be curious, to observe and learn, ever evolving sometimes for the worse, but frequently for better. These are empirical, ontological, epistemic truths. Yes, despite humanity’s horrific track-record at times, what is wrong with being an optimist, a realistic optimist? There are those, however, who do not want perpetual improvement. They do not want an unconditional celebration of life, this life right here and now. They teach and preach that this life and our planet is severely defective and irreparable.

Enter the popular, the great Masqueraders of Sanctimonious Rescue!

There is Hebaroo, then Kristop, and last Islahn. All three are brothers, so they claim, but family history has shown constant estrangement and little kindness to each other. All three blame complete strangers and the other two for all the family and world dysfunction. Each claim themself the sole heir of all this life’s riches and the next. It cannot be shared. Period. Would you like to marry one of them? If you do, each of them promise a perpetual state of war! If you don’t marry one, they’ll promise a perpetual state of more war so agonizing you’ll want to kill yourself, your children, and everyone else.

Now, don’t you see from what you/we need rescuing? This is the carnival merry-go-round everyone was born onto and can never escape or stop its endless rotation. Round and round we all go. What a Stephen King nightmare, huh? Do not fret my clever friends, there are MANY ways to completely avoid this carousel, carnival, and its sanctimonious masqueraders and keep your life, joy, peace of mind, and exciting future!
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Unveiling the Masquerade and Carnival


All three temperamental brothers have their gangs, their peeps if you will, and various codes of conduct. Since much of the Western hemisphere is the territory of Kristop I will work on him and his gang-members, though I could address Hebaroo or Islahn as well, but for the sake of your time and mine I want to stick to Kristop for now.

Why Do I Need Rescuing?
In the spirit of this festive tale and Kristos’ mode of operation, you must be married to him as soon as possible. Even if you are 4-years old, do not wait! You must become part of his harem. Staying “single” or unmarried, at four or ninety-four, leaves you at high-risk for all types of tragedy, for emotional, mental, and physical anguish, and because the entire Earth and all its inhabitants — except for Kristopians — are carnivorous and want to devour you whole or slowly in little pieces before invisible King Exedo arrives and finishes you off! Plus, you and all strangers have no will-power, or at least strong enough not to fall under the spell of King Exedo.

One more thing, all human perceived deformities, malignate-terminal diseases, imperfections, or anything bad which is non-human are caused by and are wicked schemes of invisible King Exedo. All of these sad, painful, harmful, life-threatening problems are by King Exedo and any non-Kristopians. They are why we all need the loving rescue and marital brute “protection” of Kristop.

Protection Now?
Since humanity’s present condition is so hopeless, so urgent of rectifying, Kristop demands a decision immediately. Why you need his protection is quite simply “membership has its privileges.” There’s a slight trick to this offer, however, in that how this ‘privileged membership’ plays out is about as varied as there are stars in the Cosmos or grains of sand on Earth. This is so for two reasons, two additional characters:

  1. Aurae and…
  2. Hermanewt

What makes these two characters so indistinguishable is that sometimes they can be one in the same. Other times they are completely different. What is most important though is not that you fully understand Aurae and/or Hermanewt, but that you become intimate with them both no matter what they may or may not represent. To know Aurae is to also know Hermanewt and to grasp and utilize Hermanewt you must first be intimate with Aurae. Once you have mastered these two characters, you are officially a member of Kristopians with privileges. Got it? If not, I will explain all in basic terms later in this excellent Greekish-Latinish medieval genre of storytelling. But we must continue with your/humanity’s dire need for death-insurance.

Protection for My Future?
Despite what hundreds of soothsayers, intuits, or NDS’s (near-death survivors) consistently report, Kristop and Kristopians, Hebaroo and Hebarooans, Islahn and his Muuslinians, and thousands of other gangs… all say ambiguously and unambiguously what destination you and humanity will travel to post-mortem. There is only ONE map to this destination. Kristop and Kristopians say it is their map. Islahn and Muuslinians vehemently argue it is their map! Hebaroo and Hebarooans say no, it’s neither of those maps, it is strictly their map! These three brothers have never gotten along or agreed completely about maps, nor Aurae, Hermanewt, King Exedo, or whose masquerade carnival is most magnificent. No matter, even though there has never been anyone to go to that post-mortem destination and returned to tell about it, you and all of humanity must still have their exclusive (free of charge?) death-insurance protection and password! Got it?

If not, I will explain all in basic terms later.

Failures of Kristop’s Carnival and Masqueraders
Like all demi-god-like human characters, Kristop has a boss, the head-honcho Godhead of the Syndicate, if you will. HHG of the Syn goes by so many different names that no one really knows if the “entity” actually exists. No one can indisputably prove its existence, only orthodoxy, and circumstantial evidence or theories within our three gangs here raise the HHG-Syn’s possibility. For the sake of argument, let’s say Kristop’s boss HHG-Syn does exist. Where is HHG-Syn and how can one perceive HHG-Syn?

John C Reilly

possibly King Exedo

Kristop and his code of gang-conduct proposes two means of perception:  1) Woolly disclosure and 2) Exceptional disclosure. Because of these two methods not one single human being past, present, or future could/can/will say they knew nothing of HHG-Syn and the codes of gang-conduct.

Woolly disclosure, according to Kristop and Kristopians, is so obvious to everyone everywhere that if it were a snake, it would leap up and chomp on your nose! It never let’s go either. Honestly, look at all the trees on Earth. Every single tree is exactly identical; they have roots, bark, limbs, and leaves, some even have different color flowers and different shaped leaves. That reflects one HHG-Syn, and one HHG-Syn-Kristop code. That is woolly disclosure! It cannot be mistaken because everyone perceives the same.

Honestly, look at all the fish in the seas and oceans. Every single fish is exactly identical; they have fins, scales, gills, and tails, some even have spots or stripes. See, that reflects one HHG-Syn, and one HHG-Syn-Kristop code. That is woolly disclosure! It cannot be mistaken because everyone perceives the same.

Honestly, look at all the speaking and writing by all humanity, from beginning up to today. Every single oral story, book, language or hieroglyphs, and their plots are exactly identical; they have a table of contents, a prologue, page numbers, chapters, suspense, an epilogue, and a dramatic ending, some even have pictures. See, this too reflects one HHG-Syn, and one HHG-Syn-Kristop code. That is also woolly disclosure! You cannot mistake it because everyone perceives the same thing.

Exceptional disclosure, according to Kristop and Kristopians, is the one and only singular Code of Gang-Conduct and later amendments to previous shortcomings. If the previously covered protection-plans and death-insurance policy wasn’t enough to persuade you/humanity, and Woolly disclosure is not pristine to the unambiguous ambiguity of HHG-Syn, then don’t be afraid, one and only one singular, timeless Code of Gang-Conduct (with amendments) has been given to you and all of humanity to aid in rescue! There is absolutely no ambiguity present in the Code of Gang-Conduct (with amendments) if you simply wear Aurae-Hermanewt goggles and headphones, and not ever take them off. Why? Because Hebaroo and Islahn and their gang-members, as well as other total strangers on this utterly doomed King Exedo planet, will lure and transfix your insignificant pervious will-power if you put on non-Kristopian or take-off Kristopian goggles and headphones. Don’t be tricked, don’t be stupid!

Hold on though. There are three basic questions or problems — if you haven’t already realized — with Kristop’s boss and his masquerade-carnival and carousel:

  1. Has HHG-Syn been found and identified? By who or whom?
  2. Has HHG-Syn spoken to everyone an easy auditory message?
  3. Has HHG-Syn given the same identical written message?

On number one above, if HHG-Syn has been found and has been accurately identified, why is there so much disagreement and diversity about the operation and personality of HHG-Syn among Kristopians?



On number two, there was/is no singular verbal Code of Gang-conduct (over many centuries of amendments and revisions) in the past or today. Due to the misgivings and conduct/nature of Aurae, no “easy,” no “singular” message can be heard among all Kristopians. Ask any Kristopian to intimately describe Aurae and how Aurae interrelates within Woolly disclosure and Exceptional disclosure, and you find much diversity and controversy aplenty.

And finally on number three above, there currently exists between 66-books and 81-books in Kristop’s Code of Gang-Conduct. Kristopians argue those differences are minor, but the simple fact is there’s no single number among ALL Kristopians. By definition of the word canon it implies there exists disingenuous or wrong stories and conduct. In a word, imperfection. In another two words, Unexceptional disclosure. This falls inline with Woolly disclosure quite well. Hence, this does not reflect only ONE way. It does not reflect necessarily two disclosures either. And it does not reflect consensus. It reflects many other things.

The Irreconcilability of Monism and Dualism
Monism means that there is only oneness or singleness to a concept, life, or existence. Diversity, differences do not exist. Dualism (or binarism) means that opposed forces exist everywhere in thought, life, or existence. In the gangs of Hebaroo, Islahn, and Kristop, this is typically described as Good v. Evil, Male-Female, Mind v. Body, Physical-Metaphysical, and so on. There is nothing outside of this notion or belief, only black or white, no grey, nothing in between. It’s A or B and done.

When one genuinely examines the designs, functions,  and endless purposes of all the people, of all the Earth’s organisms and species, and beyond our tiny planet into the endless Cosmos, tell me please, do you find only duplication or bipartisanship, only monism or dualism? If so, show/tell me where and I or another can show/tell you otherwise. Holding stubbornly to monism and/or dualism is like arguing a circle or sphere has corners.

Do Not Get Trapped in Tri-Brotherly Tunnel-Vision!

Unless you were born into and raised inside the Kristop, Hebaroo, or Islahn gang, asking yourself, their gang-members and gang-leaders how does HHG-Syn speak and how can you determine it’s really the one and only HHG-Syn speaking… is an exercise in Ningbo, Zhejiang, China’s Butterfly Maze to reach the prize. Kristopians do not want anyone starting the maze anywhere outside the 33,565 square meter park, you must start inside the maze only and try to find all exits and dead-ends, never venturing outside the borders. What does that mean exactly?


Kristopians and their gang-leaders first make you take an oath, that you accept without hesitation or doubt the reality of King Exedo’s irresistible power and charisma over your brain and body, then pledge your eternal marital allegiance and faithfulness to Kristop — not any other brothers or non-Kristopian gangs — and then finally promise never to stay more than 10-15 minutes in non-Kristopian lands or behaving in non-Kristopian ways. As a result of exemplary allegiance, your basic membership privileges gradually become Gold VIP status and once you pass Go, all fellow members recognize your accomplishments, follow you everywhere, and you collect unimaginable peace, happiness, pleasure, absolute perfection and riches in Caelum as your future promised death-insurance payout! This future promise is null and void if you frequently (or maybe just once or twice) go OUTSIDE the boundaries of the Butterfly Maze. “Frequently” depends on which Kristopian assesses your questionable behavior and what relationship they have with Aurae and Hermanewt.


click here to enlarge

Not so surprising, there is more than one entrance into and exit out of the brother’s masquerades, carousels, carnivals, and mazes. The only way there could be just one entrance/exit is if you repeatedly tell yourself there is just one. In fact, it is possible/probable that thinking strictly one way is a shrewd King Exedo trick. Don’t get caught in the tunnel-vision trap. It doesn’t really exist except in antiquated folklore and fairy tales from an expired bygone time-period in a tiny far away land from a tiny group of nomads wanting to be identified (way back then) as the only true game gang in town.

In case you haven’t deciphered the title of this post, it is in Latin, meaning masquerading in the wrong time-period.

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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43 thoughts on “In Tempus Perverse

  1. This post seems to consist of a lot of Strawmen.

    All three are brothers, so they claim, but family history has shown constant estrangement and little kindness to each other. All three blame complete strangers and the other two for all the family and world dysfunction.

    In the Pew Study on How Americans Feel About Religious Group Kristops mostly feels positive towards Hebaroo. Hebaroo mostly feels positive towards Kristops.

    Each claim themself the sole heir of all this life’s riches and the next. It cannot be shared. Period.

    Around 65% of all American Kristops believe that the others can be “heir of all this life’s riches and the next” according to this study. 80% of those responses included one of the other brothers. Likewise in the PEW Landscape, 79% of Hebaroos and 65% of Muslims believe others can inherit life’s riches in this world and the next if you’re not part of them.

    Would you like to marry one of them?

    Well, as someone married to another not of my “gang” I certainly don’t see why not! We have a great relationship.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Consoledreader,

      Thank you very much for your feedback and angle on this satirical post. I always welcome alternative views.

      When you say “Strawmen,” I assume you mean specifically the straw men fallacy form of arguing. I openly agree with that assessment as I was offering a simple form of satire about a subject (religion) that with truths and facts are globally all over the existential spectrum. I find and welcome lots of intrigue and humor with humanity’s forms of perception, interpretation, extrapolation, cognition, psychology, etc, when trying to explain a phenomena that is not fully understood or doesn’t align with an individual’s own thinking from their own narrow individual experience. And the Placebo-effect and orthodoxy are POWERFUL neurological forces. See my post Mind and Matter for details. Thus, my satirical post here about masks/masquerades and imaginative cerebral carnivals. I am quite sure that Stephen Colbert — my all-time favorite satirist — could’ve done a much better job on “truthiness” than I did! 😛 With that clarified… (bear with me please)

      On a little bit of a serious note, like you Consoledreader on your “About and Comment Policy” page, I too enjoy free speech, especially classy, eloquent, respectful free speech! Which by the way, you have done well; thank you. I am very much a reincarnated resemblance of the Venetian explorer Marco Polo. I personally feel the more diversity one exposes themself to and learns… the better, more whole lives become. This absolutely includes appropriate uncomfortable, awkward experiences too. Afterall, how does one know their limits and potential if they never consistently test them? And right there, is where I often come into disfavor or blatant conflict with my fellow citizens here in Texas and throughout the bible-belt South. HAH! Even with much of my family! 😉 Why is it this way? Why has it been that way for several decades of my life?

      One major reason is my great fortune with soccer/football, or futebol as it is known in Brasil. My youth-amateur, collegiate, pro, and semi-pro lifetime soccer career took me all over the world — 4 of the 6 inhabitable soccer-playing continents — and living amongst very diverse cultures and belief-systems that work well for THEIR particular needs. Afterall, I was their guest and we found we had much in common, not just the passion for the world’s most beautiful game!

      Now to my point and why I wrote this satirical post about my home state’s (and much of America’s bible-belt) perceptions of life and the world. There’s no need for me to list and repeat events such as Charlottesville, VA or the Orlando, FL Pulse Club shooting, etc, etc, to show that some (a significant?) degree of the the U.S. and world DO NOT reflect your excellent statistical links. Honestly Consoledreader, I would LOVE for those percentages of peaceful “Grey-thinking” Moderates to be much higher! Sadly, though, there are statistical studies predicting a significant increase in religions by 2050:

      And by default and proportions that also means growth in radical Fundamentalism as well. 😦 It’s worthy to note that the biggest growth in fanatical ideologies are in areas/nations of the world that are very impoverished, with inadequate broad, quality education, with poor socioeconomic opportunities and do not subscribe to or lag way behind on birth-control or Women’s Rights. And as a lightly related point, 53% of Texans voted for Trump last November and both Texas legislative chambers are heavily Red-Conservative; essentially have been since 1995. Most religious Fundamentalists here support and vote Red-tickets across the board with infrequent minor exceptions every 2- and 4-years depending on issues. This isn’t a surprise given the many factors of (lifetime) rural (secluded?) living.

      Naturally, this is MY personal experience over 40-years in Texas and the Deep South then almost 8-years around the globe in soccer. These years also include a bachelor’s degree in bible, history, and philosophy, 8-years in PCA churches with three missionary trips abroad, and 3.5 years at Reformed Theological Seminary in Mississippi, and a 4-year marriage to a Fundamentalist preacher’s/missionary’s daughter of which my two incredible kids are with, then our nasty divorce (her decision) because of (premarital) diametrically opposed beliefs — here’s that full story: Religious Asylum. Yes indeed, I do have chronic ulcers from and with many Fundamentalists — they were the cards dealt me in this life. Hahahaha! Ouch! 😛

      Therefore Consoledreader, I am absolutely sharing (albeit satirically) my own lengthy experiences surrounded by the smaller percentages of “Believers” that your statistical links allude to. To perhaps give you a better idea of what rural Texans (Fundamentalists) are like (perhaps too in the Deep South?) some of them suburbian as well, is a quite popular slogan/bumper-sticker which reads:

      “American by birth. Texan by the grace of God.”

      For me personally, as a Freethinking Bohemian Humanist, I prefer not to silently standby as those (apparent?) small percentages of highly vocal, black-or-white, politically & religiously active (violent sectors of the) population blatantly or covertly dictate monism and dualism/binarism on life when everything on this planet and in this Cosmos speaks otherwise. Satire is sometimes a good way to speak up while keeping my sanity, yes? 😉

      To close and as I hope you can infer here, I welcome your point-of-view and percentages actually. I’m very happy you shared them and I truly hope my Fundamental acquaintances will read this and your comment-links! Outside of WordPress they just don’t precisely represent MY small part of the world and MY own personal experience. When I often find myself in these sorts of circumstances, I ask them “How much of the world have you experienced? How many different continents have you visited or lived and for how long?” I must report that the high majority of answers are very (extremely?) limited and confined to the U.S. borders, maybe Canada and Mexico. I truly hope my surroundings and paradigms in this part of the U.S. soon change or at least expand… greatly!

      Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.
      Mark Twain

      Thank you again for your excellent feedback CR! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • There’s always a danger of relying too much on one’s experiences and forgetting the world is a diverse place. I am equally as worried about the problems posed by fundamentalism, dogmatism, and general close-mindedness. I suppose that is partially my point. Christianity, Islam, and Judaism doesn’t automatically equate to fundamentalism, dogmatism, and general close-mindedness. In certain forms they do, but there are plenty of practitioners of each that are liberal and open-minded and there is equally a danger in losing sight of that as well, which I think happens too often in anti-religion discourse.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Couldn’t agree more Consoledreader about egocentric-myopic personality disorders. If those are spreading/growing, then digression not progression is occurring. I hope that trend is actually reversing.

          You mentioned:

          Christianity, Islam, and Judaism doesn’t automatically equate to fundamentalism, dogmatism, and general close-mindedness.

          Fortunately, this is (in degrees) true. Let me curiously ask you about one specific New Testament passage — out of many with similar implications — that was key in my circles of Reformed Theology as well as foundational in most all non-denominational charismatic churches in Texas and throughout the Deep South. Tell me please YOUR interpretation/exegesis of this passage:

          Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
          John 14:6

          Emphasis is mine of course. Assuming this was actually spoken by Yeshua, what is he specifically teaching Thomas and his disciples… and by extension his followers then and today?

          Liked by 1 person

          • As I understand it, John is the last Gospel of the four Canonical meaning it’s the most developed theology/thematically towards a traditional concept of Jesus in Christianity as Savior and Messiah.

            So I think it’s saying that the only way to God and heaven is via belief in Jesus. And as the later verses develop in John 14 that Jesus and God are one and the same (or at least interconnected in such a way that it is like addressing one Being).

            Liked by 1 person

            • So I think it’s saying that the only way to God and heaven is via belief in Jesus.

              Agreed. In fact, I don’t think it can ever be misunderstood or misinterpreted any other way — there is one, and ONLY ONE (monism) way, truth and light (as opposed to Darkness) to reach God and heaven. Not through Hebaroo. Not through Islahn. Not through anyone or anything other than Yeshua the Nazorean — as presented in the four gospels then further revealed through and expounded by the Apostle Paul’s Epistles — which quite logically means rigid (extreme? radical?) Fundamentalism, yes? And if that is correct, then according to “Holy Scriptures” given by God’s very breath, if Kristopians (Xians) are “true” believers and followers, they must teach and mimick this intolerance for anything non-Christian — exactly like militant extreme Islam or Zionism. As one example, canoncial Scripture is pristine about the acts of homosexuality, its corruption and defacing of God’s holiness. Yet, as you’ve shown, many/most Believers accept or embrace homosexuality. I have serious major problems with not only these contradictions and this mentality and behavior (which is hermaneutically sound!), but with that passage of scripture as well… and many others like it! Hence, in a way “true” believers/followers are only obeying God’s infallible words/commands.

              Yet, here’s the catch/absurdity. As you adequately provided in your statistical links, apparently (and very fortunately!), most “Believers/Followers” of Kristop, Islahn, or Hebaroo cherry-pick which verses, which passages, which BOOKS even to accept, mimick, and teach. By inference this puts cherry-pickers ABOVE the very omniscent omnipotent God they supposedly obey and preach. So why even have an entire canonical bible!? Why even try and try repeatedly to institutionalize something that at the very core (John 14:6 and others) is clearly impossible!? The very fact that after 2,000-3,000 years there is no ONE church or identical churches (again monism) with the same creeds, same M.O.’s and probably understandably MORE discord and fragmentation!

              Now to be clear for you Consoledreader and others reading, I do not in the LEAST subscribe to any monism or dualism/binarism! To me it is illogical, irreconcilable, and border-line delusional. I embrace every bit of our endless existential diversity because we are ALL composed of atomic, subatomic, and molecular elements that act, create, morph, decay into other forms in whatever ways the Multiverse, Cosmos, and everything in between see fit; so be it. 🙂 There’s a problem though, perhaps a very serious problem: Fundamentalism is on the rise along with religiosity.

              What are the best EFFECTIVE ways to counter ignorance and prejudice? Humanity’s very survival may depend on it.

              Liked by 1 person

            • …most “Believers/Followers” of Kristop, Islahn, or Hebaroo cherry-pick which verses, which passages, which BOOKS even to accept, mimick, and teach. By inference this puts cherry-pickers ABOVE the very omniscent omnipotent God they supposedly obey and preach. So why even have an entire canonical bible!?

              It’s only cherry-picking if the person believes the book is the Word of God. If they think it’s a manmade book, such as the 55% of the Hebaroo in the US who “say Holy Scripture is NOT the word of God,” then that isn’t really cherry picking in the fallacious sense. After all, we all choose ideas we think make sense and don’t make sense, are useful or not useful for our own lives and how we want to live them. No one would accuse me of cherry picking if I said I think Aristotle had some great ideas in the Nicomachean Ethics, but his Physics were off the mark. As we are not required to accept everything we read from one individual book to another, a corollary would be we can also accept some ideas from the same book and not others, and we can even think a particular chapter makes a good argument, but then the next couple of chapters have weak ones.

              Liked by 1 person

            • A well-considered response Consoledreader. I’m not going to directly ask you (personally) if you feel/think parts of any Holy Scriptures are God-breathed and others not, or various passages are or are not, as long as you continue to imply in your comment-replies here that you at least recognize the dangers in literal interpretation and forcing bibles into or utilizing bibles as anachronisms today as far too many in the world fallaciously do. It seems irrelevant now. Reading your blog gives me the impression that you have above-average (excellent? 😉 ) critical-thinking skills and use those skills when discussing religion and Fundamentalism. If I am correct in this impression, then I wish there were a LOT MORE people like you, especially here in Texas, rural Texas in particular.

              Thank you very much CR for your comments and courteous discourse throughout. It is appreciated.

              Liked by 2 people

    • consoledreader, I see no strawman arguments in this post; but, I do see and appreciate its clever satire. You cited surveys which provide some indication of religious attitudes, which I accept. However, what people say they believe when asked compared to how they act naturally are often very different and conflicting things. The issue of diversity is a prime example. People don’t like to see themselves as xenophobic or hostile towards other demographic and religious groups; but, they do behave that way when forced to take sides – such as in the voting booth. Whenever I hear people insist that they are not racist, for instance, my “red flag” warning sign immediately goes up.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, sometimes a person’s stated beliefs contradict their actions in order to appear socially acceptable, but I don’t think that is a good enough reason to ignore or dismiss the results of such studies. Let’s go into some of the reasons why:

        1) Inconsistency: I doubt you would be making this point if I focused on the statistic that 6-in-10 adults in the US believe in Hell (which can be found at the third link I posted, along with the information in which I called attention). Indeed, I’ve seen many atheists quote that exact point from this SAME Pew study as a rather alarming fact. Never have I seen anyone temper that with a reminder that just because those individuals say they believe in hell, they may secretly think everyone is really going to heaven or those people are closet atheists who don’t really believe that, but are saying it for the purpose of appearing socially acceptable among their religious pals. So there is a consistently problem in which people will inevitably cherry pick when they wish to take statistic reports at face-value because it fits with what they already believe (i. e. religion is a bad social force and any data that confirms this point must be true) and when they’ll try to minimize the reported data (i. e. this data is suggesting that religious people are more open-minded, but this doesn’t quite fit what I believe or see in the world. There must be something wrong with it!).

        2) Different Standards of What is Socially Acceptable Between Sub-Groups: Let’s consider “”>another Pew Study on American Religious Attitudes Towards Gay Marriage.

        If I pointed out that 76 % of Jews support gay marriage, it could be that they’re just saying that to appear more tolerant and thus more socially acceptable.

        However, the same study also says that 20 % of White Evangelicals support gay marriage and 74% are against. Had I started with that everyone would take this point about Evangelicals at face-value. However, even more crucial to the point I’m trying to make, Evangelicals (in general) see gay marriage as a moral evil. In other words, people can realign what they view as socially acceptable in the first place.


        • I’m wondering what your point is. You admit that people don’t always act in accordance with their expressed beliefs, and you assert that people’s beliefs can change (to which, I agree). What does that have to do with your criticism of the Professor’s satire?

          Every issue is different. Depending on the particulars of each, a wide range of reactions and responses are possible. How people feel and act on the issue of race, for example, is not at all like how people feel and act on the dichotomy between home-cooking and eating prepared foods. That would be comparing apples to oranges.

          Liked by 1 person

          • My point is that despite the fact that sometimes “people don’t always act in accordance with their expressed beliefs,” very often they do, and our best bet to understanding what those expressed beliefs actually are is to ask them on such surveys instead of just assuming we know what they are.


            • Taking surveys is one method of accumulating data which also factor in margins of error and participant’s deception, to self or to the survey. Actual behavior in controlled and uncontrolled environments would be additional data-sets, for example. But yes, surveys are indeed one window into people’s overall beliefs versus behaviors in the voting booth, at home, or at places of employment.

              Assuming” will always come with its inherent risks no matter the subject observed. My primary focus in this satirical post was pointing out the stark difference between what the canonical New Testament teaches based on a 2nd century CE grappling-to-survive movement and its 2-4 central characters, versus what MODERN claimants, believers, followers, Kristopians, etc, actually adhere to or contextually grasp about their own canonical bible today. The behavior and mindsets you’ve pointed out Consoledreader in the Pew Studies do have levels of validity for MODERN church-goers. However, when the canonical New Testament is fully understood contextually — in its proper 2nd thru 4th century CE historical origins, growth, and canonical conception — versus your Pew stats AND the messages broadcast by thousands (millions?) of non-denominational and denominational churches and political parties TODAY… the three do not align or match-up very well or at all. I’d go so far as to say the three (i.e. your Pew stats, Fundamentalists, and the canonical New Testament in historical context) are SO FAR APART the three are unrecognizable to each other. That was the point of my satire. I think indirectly (via Pew studies) you recognized and pointed that out. 🙂

              Again, thank you very much for your excellent feedback CR.

              Liked by 1 person

            • It doesn’t matter whether you agree. It matters what is true. Yes, people don’t always enact expressed beliefs or do what they think they would do in a particular situation. There is plenty of psychological research that shows most people THINK they would help a person in distress, but research on the bystander effect suggests it depends on how many other people are present due to diffusion of responsibility. I’m not disagreeing with that observation.

              Instead, the real question is: if I want to know what an individual or group believes, what do I do? The answer: If I want to know what an individual believes about something . . . I ask them. The assumption should be they’re responding to my question in GOOD FAITH, unless I find evidence along the way that suggests otherwise. If I wanted to know what you personally believe about something, I would ask you. It may be you’re lying to me (in order to appear more socially acceptable) or lying to yourself (such as in the case of the Bystander Effect), but the default position should still be “okay, you’re probably telling me the truth about what you believe.” Surveys such as the ones I included are doing that just on a larger scale.

              In other words, what I am suggesting here is we can’t just ignore the results of surveys of beliefs on the grounds that sometimes people don’t follow their stated beliefs and are only saying they believe something because they wish to be socially acceptable.

              Otherwise we end up in a situation where a person can use that reasoning to dismiss any survey of beliefs they don’t want to believe is true!

              Liked by 1 person

            • Instead, the real question is: if I want to know what an individual or group believes, what do I do? The answer: If I want to know what an individual believes about something… I ask them. The assumption should be they’re responding to my question in GOOD FAITH, unless I find evidence along the way that suggests otherwise.

              I do agree with that Consoledreader, however, I don’t think asking is always and simply enough. Observation over a sufficient period of time is another way to verify/confirm premises and data. If I may, I have a firsthand (subjective, yes) experience to share relative to this. I will need to pullout some parts of my satire above to explain.

              I attended my 4-year college on a full soccer scholarship; that’s why I was there; not at all for its Christian liberal arts studies. 😛 The head soccer coach was also a former professional in Brasil that would (and did) help me toward my dream of pro soccer abroad. During my first 2-years there I was a firm and friendly, sociable, knowledgeable, philosophical agnostic. Hahaha! At a Christian university in Deep South Mississippi that made me a high-value target for a number of evangelicals!

              I asked and asked and asked them about their beliefs and they challenged me about mine. Two Christian philosophy majors, the resident philosophy Professor (also Christian), and a Christian-ministries major all used various apologetics about Woolly Disclosure and Exceptional Disclosure to “know” all of Kristopianism was real to them and the entire world. These discussions/debates transpired over at least three semesters until finally we were all at an impasse. Questions and answers were being repeated. Since I saw no need in proving my belief-system further if it didn’t include an active theistic god, I went a step further FOR THEM. With all the honor and dignity I knew, I said “Fine, I’ll give your God and Savior a real honest try to see if He is real.” I absolutely meant it. I was indeed ‘seeking to find’ and ‘asking to hear and realize’ (Matthew 7:7).

              For the next 3-years I was heavily active in my church (Deacon and Single’s Ministry Co-Director) followed by enrollment into seminary for 3.5 more years. Three missionary trips abroad and back to share those results, etc, and I had reached a point in my head and heart that I had an incredible sense of family and belonging. No serious conflicts or reasons to CHANGE what I was doing. I guess I’m sold, I said to myself and committed further to more missions trips abroad while finishing my final semester at seminary (RTS) and knowing-learning Scripture inside-out, backwards, forwards, in between, up and down; literally absorbing EVERYTHING to know about Yeshua, Saul, Jewish Messianism, etc.

              And then it happened.

              One simple question from a fellow soccer-player (from India) I was working on big-time (evangelizing) for months to get him to come to our informal bible-study at my apartment. What was his one simple question? …

              If you can tell me exactly (prove) where Yeshua was, what He was doing and teaching between the ages of 12 to 29… then I will come to your informal get-together.

              The fact that the canonical New Testament does not answer that shocked me. The fact that I could not answer THAT one question, when I could counter (apologetics) everything else thrown at me before, turned my world completely upside down. I asked my seminary professors! They had no legitimate answers either. I wrote R.C. Sproul who was on our staff at the time. He too had no reasonable answer. No one did. No one does. The devasting impact of that “no answer” that no real clue for me completely undermines and collapses all Christian and New Testament theology about Yeshua’s messiahship/savior as portrayed in the New Testament. All of it, for the simple reason that in order to claim the one and only Son of God via Jewish prophecies/Messianism and unheard of divine miracles and radical teachings that always put an uproar into ALL resident social-life no matter WHERE he went (as the one Son of God), SOMEBODY had to know where such a divine-figure was and what he was doing. Not knowing makes it all fall apart. There’s NO WAY someone like that just disappears without a trace for over 17-years! Period.

              Thank you for bearing with me on this CR, here’s my ultimate point:

              In my opinion and experience, simply asking is sometimes not enough. I went INSIDE the religion/group for over 10-years “living it” until I stumbled upon the strawmen(?) everywhere within, starting with their “Exceptional Disclosure” or rather the UNexceptional disclosure. Today, any appropriate suitable chance I get I ask “them” lots of questions. But due to those statistics you shared, 7 times out of 10 no one is seriously interested because as Swarn shared below, “safety” trumps truth/facts/historical evidence… or non-evidence. For them, belonging to a predominately Kristopian group and society is beneficial in many areas of life. Truth or fallacies don’t really matter to them.

              But once again, this is MY OWN (subjective) firsthand experiences. 😉 Thank you for all your participation CR. It is indeed valuable.

              Liked by 1 person

            • I stated previously that I accept the results of the studies you cited, so your implication that I “dismiss” them is in error.

              Where I disagree with you is the conclusions you are drawing from them. This isn’t a BLACK and WHITE issue, it is some shade of GRAY. The fact that some people are inconsistent, hypocritical, deceitful, or just confused on the religious subject matter at hand, leaves them open to criticism – like the Professor’s satire.

              Liked by 1 person

            • It seems like we’re talking around each other. The conclusions I am drawing from the studies is that it isn’t black and white, but there are many shades of gray when we speak, even satirically, about what religions or a particular religion or individual members believe.

              If someone writes:

              “Each claim themself the sole heir of all this life’s riches and the next. It cannot be shared. Period.”

              That doesn’t exactly sound like that someone is presenting the topic with lots of shades of gray or a real consideration of nuance, hence why I brought up said studies. It was in fact to point out the shades of gray and that it’s not so simple.


            • My goodness, you’re citing THAT quote? If you can’t appreciate the humor of satirizing the quite obvious religious zealotry of Christians, Jews, and Muslims, then you must be overly defensive about it – which makes me wonder about your particular predispositions.

              I’m of Italian ancestry and have heard countless jokes about our mannerisms, etc. None of them ever offended me, and I found many of them quite funny. Why? Because I am comfortable with my heritage and confident in my own skin.

              Psychologically, humorlessness and defensiveness are indicative of insecurity – emotional responses to convincing challenges against one’s strongly-held beliefs.


  2. Wow, you wrote all of this in a short period of time? That’s incredible. I love it when something just takes over my brain and I can let it all run onto the page all at once. Personally, I had a very religious upbringing, and although I no longer practice that religion, I feel like being raised in that way and with those principles, with a community who encouraged those principles was truly beneficial for me. I see a lot of flaws with organized religion, but I don’t think it’s so black and white. I think there’s also a lot to appreciate. It’s a grey area for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I was quite surprised that it all just really flowed right out of my strange, twisted head, into the keys on my keyboard, and Viola… onto your screen in a matter of some 36-hours, minus everything that selfishly steals us away from blogging! 😉

      Lyz, I am so VERY PLEASED you are a “grey” thinker/lifer! I get along splendidly with open-minded folk! We might have much in common, huh? LOL ❤


  3. Fantastic post, my friend. Speaking of straw men, have I ever told you about the One True Deity? OK, I will. His name is Strawman, Hayseed for short. He’s a continually changing god who morphs into whatever I need Him to be at any particular moment. He’s impervious to all things but fire, for, what I should think, are obvious reasons. So, if you want to know more about Him, I’ll soon be writing a post about him. In the meantime, remember this: There is no god but Strawman, and Hayseed is His other name. $Amen$

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Well crafted as always Professor! I thoroughly enjoyed your satire. I think it’s true to say that if we dressed it all up differently and tried to sell it to people, nobody would buy it. It’s here still, because people won’t give up on things that they know. Safety over progress.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Swarn. You’re right about dressing it up differently today — denominations and non-demoninations galore. What’s fascinating about your suggestion is that redressing it up was exactly what took place over 300-years after the events “testified”! In fact, from c. 120 through c. 380 CE redressing after redressing took place a number of times. Then once the harsh, heavy power of Rome put its foot down for their Greco-Roman version, any dissenters were eliminated.

      Ahh, yes. “Safety.” I’d have to go pull/dig up the institutional (Pew?) study again from somewhere, but essentially when religious followers were polled as to WHY they chose a particular religion and subreligion, the explanations were simple: How will aligning with this belief/group hurt me or benefit me now and in the foreseeable future? Thus, in the end a placebo-effect (Safety) trumps “truth” or historical evidence/facts.

      Thank you very much Swarn for your feedback. I always appreciate it Sir. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. For further consideration with Consoledreader, RobertVella, and any others in mind, I want to respectfully redirect and hopefully clarify better the intention of this satirical post.

    I do stand by my satire of hardnosed religious Fundamentalism in all its global forms, but also inside the 3 Abrahamic religions. Religious fanatical Fundamentalism can (quickly?) turn into very nasty, violent behaviors among followers and non-believers, even start wars as the historical record/evidence more than adequately shows. The majority of those conflicts, lethal or otherwise, are indeed results of flawed human cognition, theology, peer-assimilation, inadequate broader-education coupled with (severely?) lacking critical-thinking skills, and definitely fear mixed in everywhere.

    However, there is another “greyish” part to this less-than stellar, atrocious human behavior inspired (misguided?) by “Holy Scriptures from Yahweh/God/Allah Almighty” that certainly draws into question HOW to promote and achieve peace and good will for all humanity. Three key case and points with at least two supporting passages from the 3 religion’s holy books…


    Anyone arrogant enough to reject the verdict of the judge or of the priest who represents the Lord your God must die. In this way you will purge the evil from Israel.” — Deut. 17:12

    Cursed are those who refuse to do the Lord’s work, who hold back their swords from shedding blood!” — Jer. 48:10

    Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law;” — Matt. 10:34-35

    I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through [Jesus].” — John 14:6

    And fight them until there is no more Fitnah (disbelief and worshipping of others along with Allah) and (all and every kind of) worship is for Allah (Alone). But if they cease, let there be no transgression except against Az-Zalimun (the polytheists, and wrong-doers, etc.)” — Quran 2:193

    “When you meet your enemies who are polytheists, invite them to three courses of action. If they respond to any one of these, you also accept it and withhold yourself from doing them any harm. Invite them to (accept) [your religion]; if they respond to you, accept it from them and desist from fighting against them… If they refuse to accept [the faith], demand from them [a tax]. If they agree to pay, accept it from them and hold off your hands. If they refuse to pay the tax, seek God’s help and fight them.” — Muslim 19, Hadith 4294


    I don’t get led toward humanely empathetic, encouraged, or understandably warm and fuzzy when I read passages like these. Whether actual modern believers/followers do or do not embrace and mimick these six passages (and many more like them), or even if they are today merely parts of storytelling of a long bygone era of culture/custom, wisdom, and violence, STILL thousands-millions misinterpret them, take them literally, act upon them today in horrible ways! Why not REMOVE all those inciteful passages completely!? Why NOT promote and achieve peace and good will for all humanity with unequivocal preciseness with so simple, an in crayola crayons bible, ONE bible that a 4th-grader can easily understand, and NOT give poorly educated, averaged IQ persons (or worse) any chance of misrepresentation from whatever powerful God!? Just do it already!

    And why hasn’t that been done at any point in time the last 2,000 – 3,000 years, ESPECIALLY in this modern “advanced” era!?

    Hence, my satirical post, albeit repeatedly fed-up satire about elitist religions. Hope this helps. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • As there are only a couple of days left of summer vacation before I go back to work, I’m hesitant to spend my remaining free time rehashing points or extending the conversation too much longer. So instead it might be better to end with where we agree.

      I completely agree with you that fundamentalism is a problem and we should challenge it in any form it takes. I’m not convinced censorship is the way to go to achieve this. If one wants to reduce religiosity, the keys seem to be better (more equitable) education, a broader experience of diversity, and better distribution of resources. In other words, we need to fight for strong secular societies.

      Liked by 1 person

      • An excellent closure Consoledreader. And you would be correct about your valuable remaining summer-time — as a former educator myself, 2 1/2 months (if that) is nowhere near enough of a break. Hahaha.

        “Censorship” would be one valid description of my sportive, not-terribly serious solution to archaic bible passages and stories which modern Fundamentalism acts upon overtly or covertly. I do realize that such a quick simple solution could very well have the opposite effect: armed volatile resistance? The solutions are NOT quick and easy. Your suggestions CR,

        …better (more equitable) education, a broader experience of diversity, and better distribution of resources” and fighting “for strong secular societies

        I think are on the money. Having lived for over a decade among Fundamentalists, learned their pathology and theology, I see one particular significant impediment: diversity. That term and condition runs DIRECTLY in the face of all their beliefs surrounding Satan and his Earthly dominion. In other words, venturing outside the boundaries of my satirical Butterfly Maze above, is strongly discouraged to put it mildly. I’d liken it to full treason in wartime or the worst possible betrayal from your lover/spouse. Much of Fundamentalist teaching is not only about the Scripturally proven doctrine of Total Depravity of the entire human species and this planet, but also about the shrewd cleverness of Satan and his minions. Don’t think in the least that I’m kidding you CR! Young kids growing up in Fundamentalist churches are scared shitless about this “invisible” boogey-man that get’s inside your heart and head. When they’ve reached young adulthood Satan is as real as apple pie and Chevrolet. Non-denominational churches are not the only churches that have propagated this insane myth. The Roman Catholic Church has been doing it since at least 1 CE. Now, it is a firmly entrenched social stigma of ignorance.

        I completely agree with your proposed plan of counter-defense, so to speak, and implore non-believers and secularists to stoically NOT incite vigilante escalations similar to Charlottesville, VA, Waco, TX, Palestine, Piedmont France (1655), the nine Crusades, and a litany of other heinous religious crimes against humanity Fundamentalism nurtures and perpetuates.

        Satire DOES serve a purpose in social change, ala Tina Fey on SNL doing her impersonation of Sarah Palin, or the titans of night-time satire Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. They all inform or at least cause people to THINK… similar to great teachers/educators in their classrooms. 😉

        Thanks again CR for your participation in these important comments.


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