While searching strenuously in Mom’s chaotic (Alzheimer’s) bedroom and study-desk and boxes of files everywhere for the 2007 Toyota Avalon maintenance file/history of receipts, etc., I came across nine pages of a correctional driver’s test for motor vehicle offenders. Who was the offender? None other than my own Mom. Yes, “Say it isn’t so Nellie!” 😧
My Mom apparently was a modern, yet tamer, Bonnie without—or maybe with—some unknown “Clyde.” My draw dropped as I read this traffic offender’s 9-page test for my own flesh and blood: Mom. Should I read on? Should I not? What to do.
I browsed. I read page one, then two, and three and so on until I reached the end of the Offender’s Reprogramming Test. Mom!? She needed reprogramming for the safety of the general public!? “Say it isn’t so Nellie!” Not my own Mom! No way!
Now I knew of two different traffic citations issued to her between 2015 and 2019 when she was still driving with a license. But I am quite unsure if there were more than two pullover citations during those two or five years when she drove a lot. Reading this Traffic Offender’s Reprogramming Test after a 1 or 2 week classroom course, I was perplexed by many of the multiple-choice questions. Of the two, maybe three, traffic courses I ever took in my 43+ year driving lifetime, never was I tested with THESE sort of questions! I was stunned, flabbergasted by the direct questions and what they implied about the traffic offender… my own Mom! “Say it isn’t so Nellie!” Or rather Bonnie Parker!
For instance, Section II, question #2: What are the five leading causes of motor vehicle CRASHES in Texas as identified by the Dept. of Traffic Safety?:
Excessive alcohol and/or drug use
Unsafe high speeds (or well under the speed limit)
Flagrant disregard for stop signs or go signals
Failure to yield the right of way to other motorists
Following too close (tailgating) or up their arse
Or Section II, question #3: What are the two leading causes of traffic FATALITIES in Texas?:
Excessive alcohol and drugs
Attitudes, emotions, aggressiveness, drowsy driver, and bad driver habits
Or Section III, question #4: What factors demonstrate the lack of knowledge and understanding of traffic laws and proper procedures?
License plates on both the front and rear of vehicle
No one under the age of 18-yrs in Texas can ride in the rear bed of a pickup truck, except for unsecured house pets.
The proper or improper speed limit inside a flashing school zone
At night with oncoming traffic on a two-lane or four-lane remote highway or inside city limits, high-beam headlights are recommended or not recommended?
All of the above
Or Section IV, question #1: Describe proper passing procedures on Texas highways when…
Passing in the left lane
Passing on the right on a multi-lane road or highway if the car in front is slowed or stopped to turn left
Passing a slower vehicle (below speed limit) in the left lane when signs everywhere indicate “Slower Traffic Keep Right”
Giving courteous signals to other drivers so they know your intentions
And then Section X, questions #1–#5, but specifically #4:
Psychological factors of unsafe driving:
Attention span
Short-term memory
Unstable emotions
Overly aggressive behavior
Intolerance and impatience
And finally, Section XI, questions 1 thru 4: Proper legal carrying of firearms inside a moving vehicle
When stopped by law-enforcement on roads or highways, if you carry a concealed weapon or weapons, show the legal permit(s) first, not the weapon(s)… Bonnie Parker. 😉
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What was more shocking for me was that today Mom confessed two more things to me about her two (maybe 3-4?) Texas Traffic Offender’s Reprogramming Courses.
One, her parents named their very first child Bonnie. She died 2-4 months old as Bonnie Bonnet (or Bonet in French). Mom explained to me that her father Felix Bonnet was “fascinated” with Bonnie and Clyde. Riiiiiight. 🤔
Two, my maternal grandparents were also (apparently, at least in public) very Pentecostal faith-goers from a very long line of Waldensians! WHAT!? Hang on a minute! I had to completely readjust my initial maternal parent and grandparents. Was my world based upon falsehoods? Based on lots of little “white lies”? Oh the locked up family secrets in buried locations and inside sealed, boarded “closets.” What’s a man like me supposed to think about my family heritage? 😕😄
P.S. A smidge of slight embellishment may or may not have been utilized in this family story.
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
Running a few errands out and about yesterday in our small rural town of high winds, dust and dirt, arid temps, and persistent drought. I was waiting for my car to be vacuumed, washed, and waxed in the lobby’s waiting area. I soon noticed how many other customers were uninterested in human engagement, not even a quick 30-second courteous or comical exchange. Why? They were all engrossed in their cell phones and a few with ear-buds plugging their ears. Yes, even the elderly there were consumed with their phones. That was a surprise to me.
Heard a song this morning. I hadn’t heard it in a long time. It reminded me of this poem about connection, of authenticity, of vulnerability, of personal growth by acute introspection and extrospection. It goes something like this:
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, and remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes!’
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
— The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It is fine and good sometimes to remind myself of these poetic words and musical lyrics to find tranquility and peace.
Oh, the song I heard this morning?
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
It has been quite some time since I’ve had a bit of free time to draft and publish a blog-post. Why is that you ask? Well, several reasons to be honest. One right now, this morning, I’m somewhat free because Mom, who is now into Early Alzheimer’s Disease stayed up until at least 4:30am last night. This typically means she sleeps until 1pm–3pm. Hence, I am currently semi-uninterrupted by her and her frequent needs. As such I can operate around the house and free from her same questions of me several times throughout the day and night. 🙂 Reason #1.
I’ve had to put Mom on a “12 Questions Only” limitation per day/night! Otherwise, the Brainiac Answers Store would be technically open 18-hours a day. Ugh.
A second reason is due to Mom’s gradual decline over the last 3-years and noticeably so the last 4-6 months and my tasks, chores, and managing ALL of her financial and business affairs, her daily-nightly meds, her two meals a day/evening, including healthy gourmet dishes and recipes I prepare each day and have been over the last 1,316 days, usually takes up most 12–14 hours of my days and nights. Yes, I am a one man Dog & Pony Show day in and day out. Not much free time to blog.
The sign that goes up on my bedroom door or in the living room when Mom has used up her quota limitation of 12 Q’s 😉
The most critical reason I have not been able to blog for awhile is twofold:
1) Since February 2024 my sister (well, not so much my sister) and I were trying to transition my Mom into an Assisted Living Memory Care facility in Kerrville by the end of July this year. The months of April, May, June, and early July were a literal high-stress, high-anxiety 3 1/2 months for me beyond anything I’ve had to handle all my life.
I was having to handle Mom’s second laborious Texas Medicaid application to assist her with the high exuberant costs of modern elderly dementia healthcare. Anyone who’s familiar with Medicaid apps knows what a prolonged nightmare the process becomes. To say too much detailed personal information is a gross understatement.
I was having to handle the transfer of vehicle titles (three in Mom’s name) over to myself—two Toyotas to me—and one Dodge to my sister which Mom years earlier had bought for her. Why was this a must? Texas Medicaid considers all property as a wealth asset to eventually deny applicants if the assets are too much, like $1,500 total. Ridiculous! This was a lengthy process, especially when the state’s Tax Assessor computer network frequently went down. 😡 Naturally, she “gifted” for free these two Toyotas to me because she absolutely cannot make any profits on the sales; it would disqualify herMedicaid app immediately.
I was handling the search for an above-average to great ALMC facility that wasn’t above $4,700/mon and would accept Medicare and Medicaid. A very tough ask here in rural Texas. Most good-to-great nursing facilities are $5,200–$7,000 per month and rising every year in the Texas Hill Country, and sadly we live in a very wealthy Kerr County. Many wealthy retirees here and thus it is a HUGE revenue market for private geriatric retirement homes, apartments, and nursing-rehab facilities. None of which accept Medicare or Medicaid. Incredibly frustrating.
I was still handling all the daily house chores, particularly non-stop kitchen cleaning—Mom won’t clean up after herself—healthy gourmet meal preparations, her doctor appointments and prescription refills, her morning and evening meds consumption at correct times of the day/evening, as mentioned her entire finances, bill payments, etc., including monthly fights with her retirement health coverage through ExxonMobil Service Benefits who royally fucked up her payments account while transitioning onto a newer, “improved” website platform. They informed us after their massive screw-up that we owed them $787+ in missed payments from the previous two years 2022–2023 due immediately! 🤬 Needless to say, there was no way in hell we could come up with $787+ to keep her ExxonMobil Health Benefits with Aetna. We were already struggling bad to make ends meet after the previous 2-3 years of hyper-inflation and corporate America gouging us at every opportunity! I also had to manage Mom’s Long-Term Care Insurance policy premiums—$471 quarterly—that she would absolutely NEED at a ALMC facility. To make matters worse, Mom’s Social Security Benefits only barely kept us afloat! Then to make that worse, she received too much SSI benefits to qualify for Medicaid! Incredibly infuriating. 😡
2) All this heavy stress, anxiety, and overwhelming busy days for 1,316 days, the last 3 1/2 months the absolute worst, fighting constantly corporate America… has all taken a major toll on my own health as a one-man show Caretaker. On June 23rd, 2024, at 11:35pm I was taken by ambulance to the ER and hospitalized for four nights as I was having troubled labored breathing, zero strength, and becoming incoherent. My long-time nurse friend up in Dallas, TX told me I was on my way to having a stroke. See image below.
At first, this above bill was over $15,000+. I have seven other bills from doctors, laboratories, and the EMT ambulance bill all totaling over $21,500 on top of my more frequent PCP follow-up doctor visits, and now my new cardiologist bill because I now have tachycardia and AFib of the heart. 😔
One thing that is not obvious above, my last 4-years, particularly in April, May, June and early July, of being Mom’s full-time, overtime Caretaker for 14-18 hours per day/night is my increased alcohol consumption to keep my sanity. It has been my self-medication to stay relaxed. Also, due to my inability to stay in Dallas long-term—always having to move back down to help my mother and 48+ year addict/psych sister—has pushed me into chronic depression, now major depression. Enter escitalopram, in addition to my other prescription meds over the years: amlodipine, lisinopril, atorvastatin, and now blood-thinner med.
So there you have it, my last 4-months and 3-years here in small rural, redneck Kerrville, Texas, not having or able to have (yet) my own fun happy life in Dallas. By the way, due to Mom and I selling her large ranchita home here in December 2019 for over $535,700, she was quickly disqualified for Medicaid assistance for 2024 in August. Utterly exhausting and disheartening after several months of work toward Mom’s transition into a good ALMC facility. My plans to return to Dallas, Texas have been postponed until August 2025. 🤦♂️
There is much more I have left out here, not the least of which has been my sister’s 4-5 drug relapses since I moved back down here in August 2021. I’m not going into how badly that effects Mom, and frustrates the living fire out of me. Since I’ve returned home from hospital, she rarely comes around anymore to see Mom or help me out, which she asked me this question back at the end of June, “Dwain, what can we do to keep you from being hospitalized again?” My answer was fast: I need more of your help here with Mom and the constant chores. It is all way too much for me without any help from Mom.
She has done the exact opposite of what I asked from her. Hardly ever around.
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
How many tales and stories throughout history can you count when the bearer of a factual message is shot, beheaded, or loses their tongue? Think about it for a moment.
My header image above is from the 2005 film Kingdom of Heaven where the “new king” of Jerusalem, Guy of Lusignan, brutally kills Salah ad-Din Yusuf ibn Ayyub’s (or Saladin’s) messenger. All the messenger had been tasked with was to deliver Saladin’s factual message. That’s it. And he was murdered for it. I ask, in the 21st-century, does the messenger deserve death? Abuse? Blowback? Victimization for merely delivering the facts/truth? Anyone know the definition and background for a “whistle-blower“?
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Recently, I did exactly this: deliver the truth, the facts.
That’s it! And I will most likely get harsh blowback from those with depraved integrity, dignity, ethics, morals, and a disdain for the raw truth.
Therefore, knowing what most likely awaits me, and what social-media platforms do to messengers of truth/fact… I post this parody of factual news on here, on WordPress, because I will likely get “reported” for something like slander or fraudulent accusations… which by the way are totally unfounded, false blowbacks and merely their deluded defense for staying silent while abuses are committed by their supervisors, their church leadership or congregation members, or worse, their own family members. And all of it in silence… while these people profit from their too-scared-to-speak-upaccessories of abominable sins. 😄
So… this is my Plan B backup when I surely receive blowback and attacks from vanilla, turn-a-blind-eye religious nutcases wanting the Messenger’s head.
I wish everyone a fabulous weekend! 😊
Live Smart – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
Earlier this week I took one of our Toyota vehicles to be inspected for an eventual auto registration renewal. While there at the auto shop I had a rumor heard days earlier which turned out to be confirmed as fact.
On June 13, 2023 the Texas Legislature has given final approval to House Bill 3297.
Supporters of the bill [Republicans] called the safety inspections time consuming and inconvenient. Opponents of the bill [Democrats and Independents] say it could set Texas drivers, and future Texans, on a dangerous path. […]
Texas highways are notoriously dangerous. At least one person dies on a Texas highway each day. According to the most recent state data, 4,489 people were killed in auto crashes in Texas during 2021, or about 1.56 deaths per 100,000 miles traveled by drivers. That’s up from 1.36 deaths per 100,000 in 2017.
Starting in 2025 Texas will not require (by law) any of its 23+ million vehicles to be annually inspected as “safe and environmentally friendly” except in just 17 Texas counties. Yes, you read that correctly. I kid you not! If I want to drive a vehicle that spews out a shitload of black smoke carbon monoxide, in 2025 Texas, I will be allowed to do that unimpeded and with no serious consequences unless pulled over by law-enforcement and given a small citation, a slap on the hand.
Downtown Kerrville, TX at Sidney Baker St. (Hwy 16) and Main St. (Hwy 27) looking SW
Yes, over the last 20+ years it has become glaringly obvious that this 21st-century Lone Star State, Texas government, very sadly, very shamefully craves to be in national and global news limelight and headlines weekly. If it is negative, especially ugly, and the news tarnishes the state’s already suffering and declining reputation, they bask in the attention. Texas’ craving for worse keeps increasing as the state turns more and more radical MAGA with more out-of-state MAGA radicals moving here every month. And I haven’t mentioned yet what two elderly white Kerrville men openly discussed with the entire lobby waiting area and the part-owner of the shop, boldly and out loud to everyone there.
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Fair warning. This is going to be a lengthy rant, fed-up, irritated blog-post about rural Texans. If you’d rather not read about my high-level of frustration, then I politely suggest skipping this read and move on. No harm taken. 🙂 The reality, however, is that this gripe must be made known if for no other reason than to recalibrate the mass mental delusions of specific ruralTexans that audaciously boast abusively of this state’s “many perfections.” The attitude is certainly laughable, but also quite disturbing that they believe it, wholeheartedly.
The 2022 — 2024 Texas Congress
Once the white lady, who’s part-owner of the auto shop, explained the change in vehicle inspections for January 2025, one of the aforementioned white cowboys said aloud, “That shows you how stupid those legislatures are in Austin.” It was a peculiar thing to say and surprised me a little. I kept listening in order to better ascertain what he meant. Why? Because most all of the current Texas Congress, both the Senate and the House, are totally dominated by Republicans (see above diagram)! Over the last 15-20 years about 85% to 99% of Conservative Republican laws get easily passed. Was he calling our Republican dominated legislatures stupid?
The other white cowboy chimed in as he was the more vocal of everyone talking and almost agonizingly long-winded. Then before I knew it, they were quickly onto open-carry, pro-guns, and pro-Second Amendment. They moved so quick to this subject/debate I totally missed the segue from vehicle inspections to “the right to bear arms!” White Cowboy #2 sitting near me proclaimed that “every gun-owner should be combat trained.” What? I thought to myself with a bewildered expression, you mean like trained in military combat? Special Forces Black Ops? What the hell!? I wanted to speak up and say to him, Sir, isn’t that a closer step to a Police State? But I refrained, i.e. choose your battles on your terms.
A little disturbed that the open lobby discussion took a bad turn, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I said sternly to white Cowboy #2, “that is exactly what our school teachers are now required to be.” He responded with a simple, sort of dismissive yes. He turned his attention back to white Cowboy #1 and the part-owner lady behind the counter who was sharing a frightening story she had recently in Austin with her daughter inside the vehicle with her. It was a case of road rage by a man up on her door window and windshield cussing her up, down, left, and right while giving her the middle finger. She put her purse—with a pistol inside—on her dashboard. The man slacked off his tantrum she said, but the red-light in which they were stopped was turning green.
Yes my readers/Followers, this is a common occurrence in rural Kerrville, Texas, or Austin. I am not embellishing in the least.
Finally, our Toyota Avalon’s state inspection was finished, but not before the white part-owner lady and white Cowboy #2 spouted off that “they,“ meaning our federal government and anti-violence, pro-gun-reforms, liberal Americans, “will never take our guns in Texas.” Because I was leaving, I painfully held my tongue. I wanted to say while walking out, That’s an all too common misnomer people. All of you can have as many 18th-century flint-lock muskets and pistols as your gun-worshipping hearts desire! But I was polite and wished the two white ladies behind the counter a good day and departed.
2600 block of Junction Hwy (27), just about 0.5 mile from our home. In this portion of the highway there are a minimum of 12 access & egress points inside just 240 ft of highway along with a middle suicide lane.
These sorts of road hazards and mentally unstable, poor white drivers in rages have become a frequent event and dangerous problem here. Just for me, since moving back to Kerrville in August 2021 for my Mom’s severe Dementia/Early-Alzheimer’s, driving around Kerrville’s four main highways—Hwy 27, Hwy 16, CR 783, and Spur 98; see slideshow below—I have been in almost five (5) auto accidents! Of those five, two of them came within 1-2 feet of each other’s cars/trucks, both cases were at red-light intersections where I had a green-light right-of-way in the left lane, and they only had a flashing yellow arrow to turn left in front of me.
Other near accidents were once again, my green-light right-of-ways, in the right lane this instance, and a big monster-wheeled dually diesel truck with cow-bars and flatbed trailer hitched to the rear… was to my right at the intersection. As I was moving into the intersection, speed limit is 45mph, I was doing about 43-44, this white redneck pulls into my lane in front of me going perhaps 10-12mph… because he had paused in his right-turn lane with a “Yield” sign in front of him (slide #3 below), he impatiently chose to pull out in front of me anyway. I had to slam on my brakes, again. I sat on my horn for a good 10-15 seconds. Are there THAT many blind or nearly blind drivers everywhere? How do they obtain driver’s licenses, much less afford auto insurance? Following are some of my other near accidents in this very dangerous, white redneck town.
Main St & Francisco Lemos, Kerrville
Junction Hwy (27) & Spur 98, Kerrville
Junction Hwy (27) & Spur 98, Kerrville
Junction Hwy (27) & Harper Rd (783), Kerrville
Holdsworth & Paschal, Kerrville
We use the State Farm Drive Safe & Save app in order to save as much money as possible each month in these hard inflationary times. We’ve been on it now for over a year. Of the five different driving categories State Farm tracks via Bluetooth beacon and satellite, two of the categories—Hard Braking and Quick Accelerating—I get flagged or punished for my sudden reactive defensive driving so I won’t slam into these many idiotic bad drivers. Every time I slam on my brakes, we must pay more on our monthly premium. It is beyond infuriating that I am having to pay more for so many crazy bad drivers here! 😡 However, based on a 6-month to 6-month average of scores, we do still pay a lot less than we did without the app.
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I decided to do a little research on this motor vehicle nightmare in Texas and rural Texas counties. I found some depressing statistics, e.g. image left. Texas also led the nation in 2020, 2021, and 2022. We lost the number one spot to Mississippi in 2023, but fell only one slot: #2.
What are the primary causes of fatal deaths or maiming of drivers and passengers on Texas roads and highways? According to multiple Texas law firms specializing in vehicular damages, the top four causes of fatalities are 1) running off the road crashes, 2) stop-light intersections, 3) distracted driving (cell phones), and 4) DUI crashes, or Driving Under the Influence of drugs or alcohol.
It is also worthy to note that #5 is motorcycle accidents where 45% of all “chopper riders” are not wearing helmets. This is also a very frequent occurrence on Kerrville roads and highways. The rebel biker-chopper culture is huge here! There seem to be biker rallies here every other month, but mostly from May to September. The noise that 15, 20, or 30 bikers together make on our highways sounds like a freight-train on your porch. Your windows are literally vibrating. And NO! I am not exaggerating. Here are more statistical facts from vehicular damage law-firms of how deadly Texas roads and highways truly are:
Kerrville man killed on Hwy 16 just outside of Kerrville from speeding motorist head-on collision
Therefore, what’s the moral of this ranting story? What’s the takeaway? It is exactly this:
Absolutely do NOT believe what most white Texans brag or arrogantly boast how great or incredible Texas-living is about. They are lying or not telling the entire picture or truth. Remember, I am an 8th-generation Texan. My ancestors have lived here a long, long time, and I have lived most of my life here and watched how downhill and deteriorating this state has gone. It is not pretty. There’s not much hope it will reverse, or change anytime soon.
Every other time or third-time you drive on Texas roads or highways, you are literally risking your life or bodily harm and vehicular damages. In my last 20-years here I have noticed how horribly dangerous our streets and roads have become. It is a STARK difference from 1994.
And this is only about two aspects of living in rural white redneck Texas where too many radical MAGA Republicans reside and freely, rudely express their rage and anger with either vehicles and/or guns/weapons at anyone and everyone.
If someone you know is considering moving their family to Texas, rural Texas in particular, share this post and information with them quickly along with my many other blog-posts about the reality of rural Texas living. As a matter of fact, share not only these motor vehicle dangers, but also these seven (7) reasons NOT to live in Kerrville, TX or most all rural towns in Texas spoken from a residing Texan. They’re all the same problems statewide:
Lack of urban amenities – little to do except eat or eat or eat, and drink alcohol. Boring.
Very limited diverse Job Opportunities – mostly ranching, construction, or retail.
Very limited diverse Education & Institutions – only one high school and one tiny private Christian college.
Extreme Climate swings & Allergies: Cedar in winter, pollen in spring, and ongoing developmental pollution! Also, drinking water contamination due to these conditions.
Lack of diverse Scenery – essentially just one type: predictable Hill Country.
Decaying Community and Family Values – simply drive on Main St/Junction Hwy for 12-36 months and you will risk vehicular and/or bodily harm 1-out-of-2 times on the roads/highways. Some of the RUDEST or UNSAFE drivers anywhere else in a Texas small town!
High Cost Housing & Real Estate Market – and it’s still rising. This negatively expands the economic inequality gap in Fair Housing. And Property Taxes are high as well!
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always – Avoid Texas!
I have zero expectation that anything I ever say will end someone’s belief in their God. Not my goal or purpose. That alone belongs to the individual. ~ Zoe
'Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it' - Terry Pratchett