The Meaning

Tuesday, June 7th 2016 began like most of the last 1,000 days, maybe more. I had stopped counting. I had stopped thinking too. I had slipped into cruise-control and didn’t know it until a little after Tuesday, June 7th. That day probably should have been like all the hundreds of days prior — a number before the next.

But it wasn’t.
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I am a firm believer in the laws of attraction. I am a firm believer in Nature, Human Nature, and what tens of thousands of years have embedded deep within our human DNA and hormones generation after generation after generation. Only if we intentionally choose as an adult to make ourselves a social recluse, something we are not as newborns, infants, toddlers, or children (teens or adults?). On the contrary, we are naturally a very gregarious species. We crave to be part, a significant part of a group which is similar to ourselves. We crave connection with others. I am no different.

city_lights_in_ac_motionI am a firm believer in communication and free-form human interaction. I am a firm believer that all forms of human communication and expression, verbal or non-verbal, work as an alternating-current; yes, as in the back-and-forth flow of electricity. How we are charged Effects others near us and they us, and those expressions, those connections, those exchanges influence to some degree our own Affect. Laws of electricity and attraction are always seeking in never-ending motion between organic bodies and the unseen waves, as well as the heard, the felt, the scented, and flavored waves between us; all are in motion and seeking. We crave to sense these motions, these waves, and I am no different.

Astronomers current best estimates say there are at least 100-billion galaxies in the observable Cosmos. There are an estimated 400-billion stars or Suns in our Milky Way galaxy. On our very tiny planet of 7.45+ billion people there are roughly 6,500 spoken languages. Of those languages 4,500 are more common and only about 10 are most commonly spoken by roughly 3.6 billion people on this tiny planet floating around 1 Sun among 400-billion other Suns in one galaxy among 100-billion galaxies. The enormity of our Cosmos cannot be appreciated, its vastness incomprehensible, its richest mysteries infinite. In a human existence of on average about 75-80 years, on a planet only 4.5 billion years old floating in a galaxy about 13.2 billion years old floating in a Cosmos that is about 14-billion years old, human connections are obviously here and gone in a flash, no… not even a flash. Blink and you will have missed all of humanity’s history entirely.

Yet, there are events, there are connections of chemistry and physics between people in an ocean of 7.45+ billion and thousands of verbal and non-verbal languages that make perfect sense. In part, I know what I know because I am made of star-dust, of particles, atoms, energy, and thousands and thousands of generations of family called the human race and passed on to me (in part) as intuition and human expressions. I am inextricably linked with my kind, so I recognize certain signals, certain energies, certain waves on a planet in a galaxy within a never-ending cosmic ocean.

Me:  “So I know what I can know. There are many things… many “encounters” that are common, others that are a bit less common… and then…

…there are very very FEW that in such a cosmic ocean are ridiculously weird and uncommon, yet unbelievably natural, which pound on your chest, stagger your breathing and your normal thinking… so different, there is no imaginable reason you can ignore it or explain it in logical terms.”

“And there it is.”

In order to be able to say those things and mean it, to have lived it, you must have been truly inside and experienced a kaleidoscope of multiple human encounters, right? One must have tasted many flavors. Check-mark. I have.

But I have gone ahead in this story. Those words quoted were written 3-weeks later, June 28th. Is that the end of it? Leave good enough alone? No, not at all. (An important sidenote)
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♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

sun-moon-ying-yangWe learn as much from our successes as we do from our disasters. I might go as far as to say we learn much more profoundly from tribulation and failures. If true, as beautifully imperfect creatures as we are then we can learn to fail better… staying determined, staying hopeful, staying openly mindful, bending not breaking while staying true to self along the way! I know. In theory this sounds splendid; in practice it can feel overwhelming. I’ve lived both sides, up and down, and I am no different from others who have done the same. But I knew too well, to my deepest core, exactly what I wanted, exactly what would work, exactly what would align my stars. In addition to my above sidenote involving both my alternative lifestyles, I had also developed during a 13-year span of multiple relationships… an extensive idea, a list if you will, of my atypical imaginary woman. Along with those aforementioned lifestyle-choices, this List has only 20 points, or signs, to recognize her/them:

  1. You feel a strange, inexplicable sense of “recognition” when you meet the person. This might manifest itself as déjà vu, or an unshakable feeling that you’ve known this person before, or are somehow “meant to be together.
  2. You have a feeling that they are going to play a very important role in your own development, without knowing when, why or how.
  3. You’ve established an immediate, intense connection with them that is invigorating and shocking at the same time.
  4. You feel as though you’ve finally found a “home” or safe place with the other person.
  5. You are able to be your authentic self warts and all – without the fear of rejection, persecution or judgment with them.
  6. You both embody the yin and yang, in other words, your dark side is balanced by their light side, and their dark side is balanced by your light side.
  7. You feel a sense of expansion with them, as though you are larger than your limited identity.
  8. They make you a better person, and you make them a better person.
  9. When together you are both bonded but free, attached but unattached. In other words, you still maintain your freedom even though you might be in a relationship with them.
  10. You are finely tuned to their energy, and they are finely tuned to yours. This means that you are both very conscious of the present play of energy (whether happy or sad, angry or forgiving, open or withholding) present in the connection. You’re both therefore highly empathic with each other.
  11. love-the-abstract-wayYou feel as though you have been waiting for this person your entire life.
  12. You both connect deeply and mirror each other’s values and aspirations for life beyond surface similarities.
  13. Your twin flame is a mirror of what you fear and simultaneously desire the most for your own inner healing. For example, if you are a highly strung person, your twin flame will most likely be relaxed and messy. If you like to play the victim, your twin flame will be a strong character who refuses to give you pity or sympathy to perpetuate your complex. If you are creatively repressed, your twin flame will be a flourishing artist. In this way, our twin flames challenge and infuriate us but also teach us important lessons about our fears, core wounds and repressions.
  14. No matter how many times you avoid or leave your twin flame, you’re always magnetically attracted back to them. (Don’t confuse this with abusive relationship complexes.)
  15. One of you is more soulfully mature than the other, and often serves as the teacher, counselor or confidant within the relationship.
  16. You are taught important life lessons such as forgiveness, gratitude, empathy and open-mindedness by them and with them.
  17. Your connection is multi-faceted. In other words, your twin flame is likely your best friend, lover, teacher, nurturer and muse all at once.
  18. Your twin flame doesn’t try to change you. They accept you for who you are and what stage you’re at, and encourage you to do the same for yourself (and vice versa).
  19. You can be truthful with each other about anything. Nothing under the Sun or Moon is off-limits or needs hiding.
  20. Together, you both feel driven towards a higher purpose, whether spiritually, socially or ecologically.

dilemmasMy 20-point list, however, has a double-edge. While assisting me like a compass providing some unemotional intellectual direction — i.e. not getting lost in the moment; fabulous for distinguishing realistic wants vs needs — it also can trap or filter out unrealized potential, for myself AND for her if she abhors such a list. Wise and frustrating at the same time. For years my personal circumstances, deficient social rendezvous in my area, my age of fifty-three, and my uncompromising “fail better” mantra, all looked like Mt. Everest and felt counter-productive. Preserving a proud true-to-self integrity and doing it alone/solo appealed less to me each ticktock of the clock.

Then there was coincidence, clear serendipity.
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♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠ ♠

The Cambridge English Dictionary defines coincidence as “an occasion when two or more things happen at the same time, especially in a way that is unexpected or unlikely, or the unlikely fact of such things happening at the same time.” My definition turned out differently starting with an unusual request, a friend-request, by way of a mutual friend:

Me:  “Hi! I was trying to place you. I see we have mutual dance-club friends… but I can’t honestly remember where I may have met you. Sorry. Am I having a brain-fart?”

Haha… nope, no lapse in your memory. We have never met (that I am aware of). Blake has mentioned your impressive taste in music on a couple of occasions (even new material). So, to be honest, I am finally adding you for purely selfish reasons with regard to music exposure. LOL!! And thank you for the kind words about my babies. I thought so too, but I have a significant case of bias.

Ahhh…then we are in good company on child-bias!!! I have two very gorgeous, very intelligent, very nice, polite, humble children that will both become Adult Prodigies and CHANGE THE WORLD…. or take it over, whichever makes more money for me to retire on!!!

I do love Blake’s and Sid’s music — I miss dancing BADLY! And Blake & Sid have exceptional taste as well. Maybe we feed off each other… and sometimes (maybe?) invite Jarell to take part. Hahaha!
No… just kidding about Jarell… love him too! Anyway, GREAT TO MEET YOU here! Perhaps when I’m up in DFW sometime or in Denver July 30th at the concert we’ll cross paths, eh?

Ahh, a proud Papa!! What ages are your kiddos? So you are not in DFW anymore? Not to brag, but I think I MIGHT be going to the club this Friday. Was just in Denver (at Beta) a couple of weeks ago after The Cardigans show.

Hey, I just looked at our mutual friends and it really wouldn’t surprise me if we had been introduced before. I know all those folks pretty well, and see that you even know two or three other good friends. I’ve been friends with Hannah and (even more so) Myra since maybe 2002. Small world!

Small world indeed. Three days later our world got even smaller. Or bigger? Veiled or unveiled? Days later…

There’s a form of dance I often do at the club to certain songs. I later found out that it is called Kizomba. Here’s an example of it:

Whoa… dat ass though!!

Listen, due to my occupation I know we know some of the same people (and those people know people), so please keep this between us…

[a lengthy needed explanation follows which I omit here…]

Soooo, there ya go. I’ll stop there instead of writing a NOVEL like I did yesterday. Haha

OH whatever. You didn’t write a novel — please, get over yourself with grandiose delusions of being Mark Twain or Ralph Waldo Emerson! Just kidding!

Seriously though, I’m a fanatic for significance, for impact, for relevance, for the marrow-of-life, NOT B.S. about the weather and overkill with proper formal etiquette for the sake of a stranger’s temporary feelings, etc.! Not condoning the other extreme either, like simply rude or insensitive… just REAL! Make sense?

And no worries about the need for my exceptional discretion for your situation. Actually, most of my dance-club friends already know that I am quite “Alternative” in and about relationships — i.e. since 1989 I’ve been in the S.S.C. BDSM lifestyle, and a Pre-open/swinger lifestyle since 1997, full-blown in 2003. In theory I might be polyamory, but can’t determine; I haven’t been in a serious committed partnership since 2003 and 2010… both of those dear female friends/Soul MateS were into my alternative lifestyles as well and they only confirmed beyond doubt that I BELONG and THRIVE in BOTH lifestyles!

So… how’s my novel introduction right there!? – wink –

OMG… been asking for that for more than 10 years!!! Open, polyamory, etc. I keep trying and the answer is always a resounding NO. I don’t believe it is in many people’s nature to be monogamous. Works for some, but very unrealistic for others.

Lol…yeah, when those lifestyles finally surface from me in conversations, the woman or couple look at me like I have a big eye in my forehead with antennae sticking out my skull. A few times at public places, bars, etc…the woman will just immediately and literally walk away… sometimes they’ll say “Okay, bye-bye” or eventually some other freak-out happens. – wink –

Are you a Dom? My fascination and interest with BDSM began with my visits to The Chamber in Atlanta at age 21. You should google… they put on some phenomenal shows back in the day.

Two of my most prized memes…

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I am a Dom/Top…not a 24/7 Dom, have no desire to be a “Father” again(!), but more like 1-3 times a month to dungeons or Munches, and 1-2 times a week privately/personally at home or my private dungeon.

I’m not familiar with The Chamber in Atlanta. I will check them out!
Hahaha! And love those memes!

Not sure if you’ve had a chance to notice, but my personal blog (WordPress) is pretty much my own Journal… about all sorts of things, but also my BDSM/Open Lifestyles, and other important topics/categories that are sometimes feared and avoided.

By the way, when I/we get into more open details about my Alternative stuff… I like to go private email… my blog’s email preferably. Care to email back-n-forth there?

Yes Sir. I have a private email address but can’t remember my password and couldn’t get into it the other day. It’s Wanna guess what HBD stands for??

Well, my imagination can go wild on that! Tell me…

Human Bondage Den.

temptation_by_strehpnahziaMy jaw drops. I rub my bulging eyes to read and reread several times what she has written to make sure I am not hallucinating! “Is this really effin possible!?” I asked myself.

I decided I’m going to quickly get deeper into metaphysics, or things unseen and difficult to measure/observe; i.e. Soul Mates, Twin Flames, and my 20-points above. After that litmus test I’ll explore the music, dancing, social shenanigans, and How-to-be-Bohemian litmus tests! And eventually I will return to these two alternative lifestyles — to the real harder core aspects of the Open-Swinger lifestyle and further aspects of the SSC BDSM lifestyle; dig for a more accurate litmus test with my two-page (≅ 200-275 questions) SM 101 Negotiation-Forms from “S&M 101:  A Realistic Introduction.” Over the years these two tests are usually deal-makers or deal-breakers; mostly the latter.

And the final test/requirement:  a voracious turbo-charged sensuality-sexuality; NOT SHY, NOT ASHAMED!

Some (or many) women, as well as men, I meet online or in person, choose to avoid full-swap in the OS-lifestyle or the BDSM lifestyle for various trust-fear reasons, and some/many firm Feminists choose, or do not manage well, or have difficulties being a true submissive — “bottom” maybe, but not full-blown submissive. She is a Feminist and BDSM sub — no problems there whatsoever. And on top of these personal preferences… I prefer the RACK BDSM lifestyle more than the generic forms. Litmus test Coup de grâce coming up! Hah! More like a litmus lab, right?

Not only does she love to dance, even be the center of attention on a dance floor, she loves and knows all about 98% of all music styles and genres I love too! In public she is clearly extroverted, loves meeting new people and carries on conversations with anyone, any type, any subject — obviously very intelligent. Why? She graduated with her post-doctorate degree, duh! And hedonism and Bohemia are her little home playgrounds! I share my 20-points on Soul Mates/Twin Flames with her. Later that evening she lets me know she’s read it, all of it, agrees with all of it, and goes one step further:  “At least 18-19 of them are us.” I couldn’t argue. She was right. Astonished and geeked didn’t begin to describe how my world was spinning in overdrive.

At that point I’m thinking the SM 101 – Negotiation Forms (by Jay Wiseman) will be the crushing reality check. There’s not much that won’t get revealed about each other after some 200-275 explicit questions. It does not leave too much to the imagination; everything is covered! We exchanged our SM-Forms with each other, and about halfway through the first page, I thought I was reading MY SM-Form! I moved on to page two and yes, our completed forms were essentially identical! We both like most of the same kinks, to the same degrees, and both want to explore a lot more. And the voracious timidless turbo-charged sexuality? Pffft, not an issue whatsoever. I am blown away! She once asked me “Do you have a survelliance camera in my head and heart!?” I could’ve easily asked her the same thing. This had now become (for both of us) some freaky-scary weird shit. Time to pullout the Coup de grâce.

About 6-7 weeks later, “Have you had a chance” I asked her, “to read all of my Dark Encounters/BDSM blog-posts as well as the latest one?” Around 2:00 or 3:00 AM that next morning she writes:

I just finished your blog post. You know what I think each time I’m reading one of “these” from you? I keep saying in my head… he is a fucking genius. A GENIUS. And I also think ANY woman who is fortunate enough to have you plan something like these scenarios for her, is the LUCKIEST DAMN WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!! Those are the exact thoughts I hear when I am reading ANY of these blogs from the BDSM section of your page. I mean… DAMN.

nameless_pleasures_by_skehrkrowAnd I can go a step further, but I don’t want to freak you out… so I’ll just say this… I am HONORED to be your LD sub right now and for what I hope will be a long, LONG TIME (well, I’m hoping that LD part goes away real soon)!

WHAT would have “freaked me out”??? What could possibly freak me out by you going a step further???

What I meant by that was this… I have always been drawn to the balance between MALE and FEMALE, the dynamics between them and how beautifully they work TOGETHER and BALANCE each other. I can see us maximizing that dynamic… and I would SO LOVE to be the focus of your writings… both of us… how we are TOGETHER, how we BALANCE each other.

YES! I would have you Guest write as well. I want SO MANY MORE female voices there on my blog! But… WHAT would freak me out?

I just see us being such a beautiful thing, and I think your writing is so eloquent… the two combined would be so magnificent

POWERFUL? IMPACTFUL? You and I together want to FREE UP people from their fears & imbalances!?


Help GUIDE THEM to EMPOWER themselves!!!?

Seeing OUR balance, equality… just, you and I being a TEAM, in that respect…

[several minutes pass with no messages…]

Are you typing up a lot… peeing for the 100th time… or thinking a long long time?

And I guess what I meant by that…

Come on… SAY IT!!!! – wink & laugh –

…some sort of connection being YOUR sub… even long distance being YOURS.
I’m not peeing for the 100th time!!!

Ok… for the 97th time!

I just want to be YOUR PARTNER in it all… BAD!!! I am BESIDE myself with this!

Oh oh! -wink-

Come take advantage of me…

veils_by_cunninghand(line break)
I so TOTALLY WOULD if I had the SLIGHTEST CHANCE there!!!!!



yes I am…

As I am…after you! I will make you give ALL OF YOURSELF UP TO ME!!!!

I already have!!!! As much as I can… before surrendering to you physically.

“And there it is.”

two-timeI have no more litmus tests except time. I don’t exactly know what to make of this now. I know there is no use denying what has been going on in my mind and heart, on the phone live, in emails, in chat, since the end of June. Everything, I mean everything with her/us is effortless. She says she can’t deny it either; impossible. She has her wish, or at least one of many — she requested I write this post and publish it. So what is the purpose? What is the meaning? Do we ever figure it out completely, perfectly, all the time? Should we? What sort of lives would we have if everything and everyone was always predictable? Mostly predictable? Barely predictable? Never predictable?

You tell me, if you can, the meaning.

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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There’s No Way!

Anyone who has had to deal with manifested psychiatric-psychological disorders like manic bipolar disorder as well as/or clinical addiction, which often go hand-in-hand, then like me you can probably relate to and empathize about why this particular song* speaks volumes to me. It captures the intensity. It covers ALL of the mental and emotional ups and downs, successes and failures, that seem to be a never-ending saga of love, hope, destruction, beauty, anger, disappointment, joy, and most of all perseverance. I sometimes wonder if staying isn’t abnormal.

I live a chemical life
I’m on a mission to try
You went insane for a day
I’ll have to shove it away
My only option is gone
Smile as they break and they fall
You want a simpler life
You can’t erase what was mine

Even though it is human nature to often seek perfection and expect perfection, we eventually find that in seeking and expecting perfection, we find imperfection. The more perfection desired, the more imperfection found. Sounds quite insane, quite a formula for cyclical chaos doesn’t it?

You must be out of your mind!
This was a simple design!
You fuck it up every time
How could you leave me behind

Yes, there have been many times over the decades where I thought I was going out of my mind! But many times I felt denying or running from the problem(s) wouldn’t solve anything or teach me/us anything either! But everyone doesn’t think or feel like I do, so some do indeed “run”… and leave me behind. Some truly want immediate satisfaction and relief!

It’s alright, it’s alright
’cause I know what you want
but you’ll just have to wait
If I had it to give
I would give it away
I’m living it up
while I’m falling from grace
There’s no way, there’s no way that I’m running away

And in my years of employment in the Psych/A&D field helping others, I eventually found that if I don’t remain disciplined with my own mental-emotional health, rest, and recreation, I too can fall from grace. I am just as human as the next and I am reminded of that, dancing that edge sometimes as I must, as long as I remain truly human inside humanity. Make sense?

How many thousands of times I have heard this rationale and events play out…

I’m used to making it worse
Made up of four letter words
You wanna know what it was
Now isolated and gone
You fall apart at the seams
I’ll never know what it means
Try not to pull it apart
You’re anger’s straight from the heart



There were numerous times when my patience and will were exhausted, done. All I wanted was to be selfish, left alone in solitude, or to do one of my favourite therapies: dancing. And yes, even dancing and screaming energetically angry too… at first, maybe. (wink)

But then…

It had to be the worst for me
I don’t know what to say so let me be
And now I find you left me behind**
I don’t know what to say so nevermind!

You’re mine!

I still belong here, there… with my human family, with my tribe, with my soul mates… through the good times and the bad. Together.

’cause I know what you want
but you’ll just have to wait
If I had it to give
I would give it away
I’m living it up
while I’m falling from grace
There’s no way, there’s no way that I’m running away

I don’t have all the answers, nor can I guarantee immediate results — you’ll just have to wait… be patient. If I had it to give, I would give it away! But in the meantime, I’ll be here with you. I might get frustrated, even angry, but I will celebrate successes just as pumped and just as excited as you do! “You’re mine.” You’re ours.

You know, maybe we don’t need such super high expectations of perfection. Since perfection always accompanies imperfection, let’s find all the beauty in imperfection and embrace it along with perfection. Let’s learn to screw up better each time! But do not fear…

There’s no way that I’m running away.

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* “Simple Design” by Breaking Benjamin (2004)
** This line refers to my Dad who in July 1990 took his own life without reaching out.

Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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Fail Better

Oliver Napoleon Hill, one of America’s greatest writers about self-improvement, motivation, and success once said “In every adversity lies the seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”  In achieving a difficult goal, Hill conceptualized that the greatest reward was not in reaching the goal, but instead was in the will to continue in the face of growing doubts bred from failures.  Most importantly to note is that Hill did not state “failure.”  Critical to his concept was the kinetic word “failures.”

Everyone can make a long list of failures throughout their life; hopefully.  If all hopes and dreams were easily gained, they would have little satisfaction and soon be forgotten.  But it is the exhausting roads and persistent belief that with each setback, with each refinement of imperfection and expectation that create the most astonishing most memorable life experiences – to perhaps cauterize a realization that life and death work together, not in conflict.  Neither need be feared.  Contrary to antiquated religious teachings, no ‘stand-in’ is required, no depraved condition exists within us unless it is taught, accepted or internalized, and manifested as less-than capable by one’s self-will and surrounded environment chosen.  No, quite the opposite should be taught:  failures are a good option!

Care to revisit some famous failures that came with some spectacular silver linings?

1492 – Geneon explorer Christopher Columbus never did make it to India’s spices and wealth, but instead found much more; so much more that it changed the entire world. *

1804-06 – Cartographers and explorers Lewis and Clark set out to find a water passage from Midwest America to the Pacific Ocean.  No such route exists, however, they documented the land, people, plants and animals which led to the bargain-basement steal of the Louisiana Purchase. *

1896 – Nineteenth century German engineer Otto Lilienthal first pioneered glider-flight that soon inspired the Wright brothers to powered-flight in America.  Days later Lilienthal was killed in a flying accident attempting to perfect his glider. *

1937 – During the latter stages of Women’s Suffrage, aviatrix Amelia Earhart vanished while attempting to fly around the Earth’s equator.  Regarding women’s rights she was quoted earlier saying, “[women’s] failure must be but a challenge to others.” *

1940 – The Tacoma Narrows Bridge had only been completed 4-months prior to its collapse due to high winds.  Wind impact had not yet been fully understood during construction.  Following bridge designs around the world included stabilizing measures and construction. *

1946-56 – Discovery of the 972 texts of the Dead Sea Scrolls at Khirbet Qumran, Israel, convincingly showed a much more comprehensive portrait and subsequently more diverse Second Temple Jerusalem than was traditionally portrayed in the canonical Christian Gospels; further confirming the truer nature of Judaism as opposed to the warring oppressive Greco-Roman version of later early-Christian groups closer to Rome.  For one example of the two 1st century CE severe divergences, read Sign of Jonah in Talpiot Tomb confirmed just this year.

1970 – The Apollo 13 lunar mission failed due to an oxygen tank explosion lethally damaging the flight crew’s breathing system and service module.  However, with ingenious adaptation and resourcefulness NASA brought all astronauts back home safely and with several critical later spacecraft changes. *

1991 – Locking eight scientists in a sealed terrarium called Biosphere 2 did not go as planned:  food shortages, bad air, and “crazy ants” cut it short.  Columbia University then the University of Arizona has since used it for successful eco-bio research. *

1993 – The Apple Newton is recognized as Apple Corporation’s biggest failure.  The personal electronic assistant expired after 6-years of mediocre sales, but led the way for today’s highly popular iPad. *

1998 – NASA launched the Mars Climate Orbiter to examine the Martian climate.  After a 287-day journey and over-budget costs the probe likely incinerated in the Martian atmosphere.  The problem?  NASA used the metric system in its designs, but the engineering team at Lockheed Martin used English units of measure.  Now regular Martian orbiters and land-rovers explore the red planet with feasible developing plans of mining, colonization, and making Mars a leap-frog point into deeper parts of our solar system. *
[ * – National Geographic Magazine, Sept. 2013]
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On a more personal level, an intimate level, these concepts are ever truer for our relationships, especially in marriage and parenting a family.  Some of our best virtues can be born and honed with a marital partner and raising messy failing succeeding children.  And the more the better!

Failure and success coexist.  Though we may have been taught they are dire enemies, they are really identical twins from the same mother:  a life and death well-made and well told.

If you can keep your head when all about you
  Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
  But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
  Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
  And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
  If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
  And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
  Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
  And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
  And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
  And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
  To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
  Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
  Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
  If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
  With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
  And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

If — by Rudyard Kipling

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How many wonderful failures have you made this week?  Was one of them epic?  Profound?

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