Just like as in a nest of boxes round, Degrees of sizes in each box are found: So, in this world, may many others be Thinner and less, and less still by degree: Although they are not subject to our sense, A world may be no bigger than two-pence. Nature is curious, and such works may shape, Which our dull senses easily escape: For creatures, small as atoms, may there be, If every one a creature’s figure bear. If atoms four, a world can make, then see What several worlds might in an ear-ring be: For, millions of those atoms may be in The head of one small, little, single pin. And if thus small, then ladies may well wear A world of worlds, as pendents in each ear.
—— Margaret Cavendish, “Of Many Worlds in This World“
This slideshow requires JavaScript.
Music: “Ocean” by Azam Ali & Loga Ramin Torkian from the album, Lamentation of Swans: A Journey Towards Silence
————
Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always
My previous post was a bit of a fumbling crash-test-dummy wreck. After four long days of intensive care, in quadriplegic static-slings (in stasis?) and frequent bed-pans, I begin my rehabilitation in this way. Luckily, perhaps miraculously, I had a wonderful female human being, who despite my masculine Homo erectus “verbage” — I think she called it, but repeatedly with an odd angry French accent — she foolishly remains my friend and offered this TEDxAmericanRiviera video that literally explains to my kind… “what it’s all about.” Even better, the presentation is by a woman who knows something about it.
As prescribed, I watched so intently the highly impatient German nurses kept giving me eye-drops while grumbling what I couldn’t quite make out was “Nicht-Augentropfen, aber Fett Einlauf in den Arsch!” If I’m honest, it sounded a little frightening. Does anyone have that translation?
Without further babbling, I present Sheila Kelley…
(paragraph break) The proverbial light-bulb — admittedly more like a flickering miniature Xmas-light — lit up bright, and shown through various unmentionable orifices cared for by my German nurses… it was truly an Ah HAH painful moment, but with one minor tweak I would offer. It is this: instead of the exact quote from Joseph Campbell, I’d perhaps say…
“Woman is life and Man is the servant of life.
The Male’s job is to protect [that service so that Woman may freely give more life.]”
— currently, Professor Baboon
You see, some/many women can protect themselves quite well. There’s no need for us men to prematurely step-in, unless she asks us to do so. Then the VALUE of collaboration, protection, service, all varieties of love, and the culturing between Woman and Man that Sheila Kelley is urging, is increased exponentially as BOTH are more empowered equally. Well, at least that’s my take to her fantastic presentation.
My dear female rescuer then sent me on my way with a reminder, “Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “Y” becomes silent. And we are excellent housekeepers. Every time we get a divorce, we keep the house.” I believe she called that The V Empowered. She said one day I’ll understand, if I don’t real soon.
Addendum — I’ve since realized that I should have clearly indicated in my last paragraph (above) that we/my friend and I, were joking-about/mocking local social norms; i.e. not uber serious and purely between the two of us, laughing about my own personal history with women/ex-wives and by default my neophyte entry into sexism vs. feminism. I see now she was comfortable with/about me to do that but may not have done it publicly with strangers — one man who you know pretty well, versus several unknown men and women. But I don’t know now if that was the case. I do see today how my last paragraph could easily be taken offensively by those who were not present. My sincere apologies.
Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always
(paragraph break)
Addendum #2 — My blogging-buddy Swarn, at Cloak Unfurled, has given me permission to link his outstanding, poignant, gut-wrenching TRUE post, “The Long Silencing of Women“. I felt it was an excellent addition/temporary-conclusion to this, my crude male attempt on the subject of Feminism-Sexism. He agreed. Many thanks Swarn! It is well worth the read.
“In every adversity lies the seed of an equal or greater opportunity.”
– Napoleon Hill
(paragraph break)
I had my ego handed to me on a skewer recently and soon politely stitched back together by some wonderful ladies. Though it was sometimes grimacing to read, hear, and own, getting rightly challenged is always a good life-lesson. Two worthy friendly intuitives were Victoriaof Victoria NeuroNotes, and Ruthof Out From Under the Umbrella. Please take a few minutes to hop over and browse their excellent and provactive blogs.
(paragraph break)
* * * * * * * * * *
The discussion and padded verbal wrestling was over a critical, rampant social problem that must be addressed and improved. What is the social problem you ask? Blatant and subtle sexism in our cultures.
A number of people shy away from controversial issues; disagreeing can be exhausting, no doubt. Many times we allow our natural emotional defenses to bow-up because let’s face it, being shaken or jolted from your comfort zone is not often thrilling. Yet, in contrast, would permanent stagnation be the best disposition in a world constantly morphing and changing with people morphing and changing to adapt, survive, and succeed? Not to me. For me stagnation is smelly-risky, and intellectually and spiritually monotonous. Luckily, utilizing weighted physical, mental, and emotional workouts makes us stronger and wiser. Unfortunately, in zero-gravity the human mind, body, and heart weakens and becomes feeble!
Voluntary Blindness
There is a term and practice in one of my alternative lifestyles called sensory deprivation. It is sometimes called perceptual isolation. Though in my mind there are correlations between pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey or hide-n-seek, with sensory deprivation used in S.S.C. BDSM, this post is not about the lifestyle; so bear with me a minute while I elaborate.
Basically, sensory deprivation is the deliberate reduction or removal of stimuli from one or more of the senses. Simple devices such as blindfolds or hoods and earmuffs can cut-off sight and hearing respectively, while more complex devices can also cut-off the sense of smell, touch, taste, thermoception (heat-sense), and ‘gravity’. Sensory deprivation has been used in various alternative medicines, as well as in psychological experiments (e.g., Google isolation tank).
Like it or not, sensory deprivation has tremendous human benefits! A big one has nothing to do with my alternative lifestyle and yet it is actually promoted, albeit indirectly, in several therapeutic fields and practices. Most knowledgeable people already recognize that when one of the five human senses is non-functioning, the other four and the brain try to compensate. The compensation by the vigorous working senses are typically proportional in counterbalancing the lost sense or senses. Occasionally that compensation goes beyond normal expectations and so offers an otherwise new unknown level of stimulus. The human body’s adaptability from crisis is an astonishing kinetic work of art or horror when it has (or doesn’t have) the proper time to adjust, create, or regenerate! Here is a question to consider…
Is sensory compensation much different in common daily social interaction, private or public?
Into the Wrestling Rink!
When I took my bumps and bruises from Ruth’s two blog-posts and comments, and Victoria’s triggered exception about my inappropriate (private and public) sexist comment to her, I got a sand-paper lesson in flirting etiquette! And no matter how much I attempted to prove my intended fictitious jesting and poking, I couldn’t change what had been written under the influence of… animated egomania. My emergency iodine applications turned out to be (ugh!) industrial-grade salt in her eyes and opened wound. What I needed was deflation. I NEEDED AND DESERVED MY REPRIMAND.
Listen men, more specifically heterosexual men, there is a clear and undeniable line, verbally and non-verbally, that you/we are NOT supposed to cross or violate. Period. But wait, there’s more! Even if she initially hints or invites the crossing of a cloudy grey-line, you are still completely responsible for everything you say or do in response as long as you both are alive, or Stage 3 Alzheimer’s sets in. 😉 Humor aside, do we grasp the full breath of what that means!? We cannot go back in time and change words and actions — human time-travel may NEVER be discovered — so it should go without saying! But hello, it needs repeating and it needs reinforced teaching until stuck and sticks permanently…
Consider and choose your words and actions very precisely.
In fact, become a Master and Gentleman of Impeccable Etiquette — start now! Sorry, we will never have the perpetual Get Out of Jail Free card.
In hindsight, I broke one of my/our cardinal rules in the lifestyle and didn’t even realize it until Victoria then Ruth called me on it. My nature, personality, and lifestyle-mantra of 25+ years has been/is to be acutely aware and in-tune with my woman’s present and future condition. To a different extent that is also true to female friends, and I effed it up.
To be a principled advocate and model of my lifestyles publicly, the last people I need to harm are polite innocent outsiders or guests. Like it or not, first impressions are important, perhaps massive. Plain and simple, first, second, third, and later impressions show your intended guest how much you respect and value them. In my emergency attempts to spit-n-polish my foyer, I became the bumbling ice-skater who fell flat on his face! Tah-dah!
Back to Voluntary Blindness!
Two of my most memorable, successful, soul-mate-bonding long-term romances started without sight of each other. In fact, for the first three months of romance #1 we did not lay eyes on each other. It helped that we lived over 300-miles apart and both VERY busy single parents. The second romance was 20-days without physically meeting. Sight deprivation caused our early relationship to under compensate the often human eye-of-distortion or optical illusions that can (and often) prematurely grip us too tight, while allowing the more enduring (more reliable?) remaining senses to over compensate, or heighten. We willingly forced ourselves to learn each other through listening and speaking only. Certain deprivations for an extended length of time pays huge dividends! I recommend it for all new romances; better yet, it might be ideal to start without any optical illusions, literally and then metaphorically.
Here is my little suggestion to shrink (pun intended) social sexism by men, particularly men who are totally typically visual-dependent…or should I say blinded? 😛
One clever way to redirect is by having a blind date, literally! Did you know that there are restaurants who serve a four-five course dinner for two in total darkness? Yep, you can’t even see your own hands! Opaque – Dinner in the Dark is one such experience. Think how many preconceived fears, expectations, and optical facades get eliminated. In the circus of modern romance that’s three major minefields, GONE! And imagine the quirky fun making a mess of things together. HAH! You two get ahead of the love-game! But don’t limit this novel idea to romantic couples only! The experience can be enjoyed by all type relations and dynamics!
In every small or big challenge lies the seed of equal or greater opportunity!
To wet your appetites and spark your courage, this movie clip is from About Time, the 2013 film which ranks in my all-time Top 5 (maybe top 3) best films ever! Aside from its cinematic value and profound storyline, this scene demonstrates in a normal public setting the fun and impact that optical deprivation can bring to a friendship or romance. Watch…
So…in the context of sexism, how well can sensory deprivation help you in blindly discovering and enhancing parts about someone outside of their physical appearance, or beyond optical illusions? Could the discoveries be positive? Negative? Both? Neither? What are some other positive deprivations? When might deprivations become negative?
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it
The Professor's Convatorium 