I want to share some very happy good news for me that was sort of unexpected. Yet, it is worth a blog-post for sure.
I struggled with whether or not to write about it due to my last crushing love-loss with Jodi Kasten. However, at the risk of jinxing these past two weeks, it seems once again that this spectacular, peculiar, sometimes harsh Universe has brought love into my life once again. Sandy is her name. We have been the best of closest friends for over 44-years since our time at university in 1981–1985.
Sandy and I have reconnected recently, last November I think, and it has been like we’ve never lost touch. We just instantly picked-up right where we left off the last time we talked. The most refreshing part of our long, long close friendship was how easily we laugh together! It is often nonstop for hours. While Sandy was here March 22nd thru April 5th, my jaw muscles were literally sore every single day and night because of my incessant smiling and laughing! One night I had to take pain relievers because my cheek and jaw muscles hurt so much. 😄 It was insanely fun!
Now that she is back home in Chattanooga, Tennessee, our lives have returned to a boring normal, too quiet around the house, and me and my “one man show” with no help caring for Mom. Sandy was a massive help to me emotionally, mentally, and when possible physically with tasks—I wasn’t alone in the least. It was euphoric if I’m honest. I miss her. I really do miss her now.
We are already planning for her to fly back out here, perhaps May 24th(?) and staying for three or four weeks that go round. Two weeks this last visit went by way too fast for us. Did I say how much I miss her? Sandy was my first therapist-counselor right after my Dad’s suicide and funeral. She helped me through a LOT of crap emotionally and mentally in 1990. She was a superb therapist and deservedly licensed with a Master’s degree in psychotherapy in family counseling. And we had been great platonic friends all through college at Belhaven University, Jackson, Mississippi. We never really lost touch, just got busy with separate lives, family, blah, blah, blah.
But after this last visit here with Mom and I, it was obvious how good, how close, how sound our close friendship has developed all the best qualities for something more significant. It is an easy, natural fit. We are discussing finding our Justice of the Peace her next time out here. I’ll say this with utter confidence… it will be difficult NOT to marry given what has been easily built over 44-years. To me it seems like a no-brainer.
To be continued… 😁😍
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
Feeling nostalgic today. Feeling somewhere else, and not here, wishing for another time, a more euphoric place where I felt… at home—understood in all possible ways by those who had come into my life… and are now gone from my life. So I post this, I play this special song. It was shared with me by two past Soul Mates/Twin Flames.
This song is also on my page The Bohemian, under my About page. I am a kindred spirit of Bohemia, the French tenets of which I descend from my mother’s side are Creativity, Love, Merriment, Experimentation, Art, and the arousal of all the human Senses. My Bohemian side says:
If I had to give a quick summary of myself, it would be “Bohemian Drummer Living and Musing A Different Beat.”
[…]
This belief in integrity and the intense desire for creative freedom often leads to a threadbare existence. Perhaps this material poverty (or ‘simplicity’ as Thoreau would say) leads to the archetypal Bohemian, wild at heart and empty of pocket.
The two Soul Mates/Twin Flames who shared this song with me and meant for me?
There was a boy A very strange enchanted boy They say he wandered very far Very far Over land and sea
A little shy And sad of eye But very wise was he
And then one day One magic day he passed my way And while we spoke of many things Fools and kings This he said to me
The greatest thing You’ll ever learn Is just to love And be loved in return
And then one day One magic day he passed my way And while we spoke of many things Fools and kings This he said to me
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn Is just to love And be loved In return
Is it coincidence, random one-in-billion serendipity when we encounter a soul mate/twin flame? Or… is it something more?
Running a few errands out and about yesterday in our small rural town of high winds, dust and dirt, arid temps, and persistent drought. I was waiting for my car to be vacuumed, washed, and waxed in the lobby’s waiting area. I soon noticed how many other customers were uninterested in human engagement, not even a quick 30-second courteous or comical exchange. Why? They were all engrossed in their cell phones and a few with ear-buds plugging their ears. Yes, even the elderly there were consumed with their phones. That was a surprise to me.
Heard a song this morning. I hadn’t heard it in a long time. It reminded me of this poem about connection, of authenticity, of vulnerability, of personal growth by acute introspection and extrospection. It goes something like this:
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, and remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes!’
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
— The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It is fine and good sometimes to remind myself of these poetic words and musical lyrics to find tranquility and peace.
Oh, the song I heard this morning?
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
There is another streaming series I have become a fan of along with Season 2 of Halo on Paramount+. It is Alexander: The Making of a God. I am a fan of time-period pieces, especially about Antiquity through the post-Classical Age and fall of the Roman Empire.
Released on January 31st, 2024, the docudrama series explores a segment of Alexander the Great’s sudden rise to Macedonian power at the ripe age of 20-years old after the assassination of his father Philip II in 336 BCE, followed by his military victories and conquests of the Persian Empire ruled by Darius III. This was all the Netflix directors and producers wanted to cover. Doing more, like his childhood or going into his Western India campaign and his mysterious death back in Babylon, would’ve simply been far too cost prohibitive. Yet, critics blast the series for not covering every single hour of Alexander’s life. Pffft. 🙄🤦♂️ And many—surely of the ultra-Conservative persuasion—slam the docudrama series for hinting, or showing that Alexander the Great was not strictly heterosexual. Ridiculous non-sense in my opinion and irrelevant to the important historical context and facts.
Alexander with his closest friend Hephaestion – Netflix
These strictly gender-binary critics, however, demonstrate very, very little knowledge of ancient Greek-Macedonian socio-culture. Ancient Greek-Macedonian society never had any written or verbal differentiation between heterosexual and homosexual persons. What they did have was six (6) different definitions of love. Notice their Athenian context versus our modern Puritan American, binary and restrictive definitions or ‘social boundaries’ today.
Eros — The first kind of love was eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, and represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. But the Greeks didn’t always think of it as something positive, as we tend to today. In fact, eros was viewed as a dangerous, fiery and irrational form of love that could take hold of you and possess you — an attitude shared by many later spiritual thinkers, such as the Christian writer C.S. Lewis. Eros involved a loss of control that frightened the Greeks. Which is odd, because losing control is precisely what many people now seek in a relationship. Don’t we all hope to fall “madly” in love?
Philia — The second variety of love was philia or friendship, which the Greeks valued far more than the base sexuality of eros. Philia concerned the deep comradely friendship that developed between brothers in arms who had fought side by side on the battlefield. It was about showing loyalty to your friends, sacrificing for them, as well as sharing your emotions with them. (Another kind of philia, sometimes called storge, embodied the love between parents and their children.) We can all ask ourselves how much of this comradely philia love we have in our lives. It’s an important question in an age when we attempt to amass “friends” on Facebook or ‘followers’ on Twitter (now X) — achievements that would have hardly impressed the Greeks.
Ludus — This was the Greek’s idea of playful love, which referred to the playful affection between children or young lovers. We’ve all had a taste of it in the flirting and teasing in the early stages of a relationship. But we also live out our ludus when we sit around in a bar bantering and laughing with friends, or when we go out dancing. Dancing with strangers may be the ultimate ludic activity, almost a playful substitute for sex itself. Social norms frown on this kind of adult playful frivolity, but a little more ludus might be just what we need to spice up our love lives.
Agape — The fourth love, and perhaps the most radical, was agape or selfless love. This was a love that you extended to all people, whether family members or distant strangers. Agape was later translated into Latin as caritas, which is the origin of our word charity. Lewis referred to it as “gift love,” the highest form of Christian love. But it also appears in other religious traditions, such as the idea of mettā or “universal loving kindness” in Theravāda Buddhism. There is growing evidence that agape is in a dangerous decline in many countries. Empathy levels in the U.S. have dropped nearly 50 percent over the past 40 years, with the steepest fall occurring in the past decade. We urgently need to revive our capacity to care about strangers.
Praga — Another Greek love was pragma or mature love. This was the deep understanding that developed between long-married couples. It was about making compromises to help the relationship work over time, and showing patience and tolerance. The psychoanalyst Erich Fromm said that we expend too much energy on “falling in love” and need to learn more how to “stand in love.” Pragma is precisely about standing in love — making an effort to give love rather than just receive it. With divorce rates currently running at 50+ percent, the Greeks would surely think we should bring a serious dose of pragma into our relationships today.
Philautia — The final variety of love was philautia or self-love. The clever Greeks realized there were two types. One was an unhealthy variety associated with narcissism, where you became self-obsessed, and focused on gaining personal fame and fortune. A healthier version of philautia enhanced your wider capacity to love. The idea was that if you like yourself and feel secure in yourself, you will have plenty of love to give others (today this is reflected in the Buddhist-inspired concept of “self-compassion”). Or as Aristotle put it, “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of man’s feelings for himself.”
These fluid socio-sexual norms in ancient Greece-Macedonia are very well recorded and reflect just how open-minded Alexander’s compatriots were. It is wholly unfair for modern Puritan America, that often is oppressively rigid, gender-binary only, and impose their own personal antichronistic beliefs upon ancient Greece and Macedonia, especially upon an iconic figure as Alexander the Great. That position is completely unfounded and severely lacks any supporting evidence.
Nevertheless, the legends of Alexander the Great are held very dear and close to the heart of traditional, conservative, gender-binary populous. They are easily offended by any suggestion that Alexander was not strictly heterosexual.
Alexander the Great is often glorified in “manosphere” circles as a hyper-masculine figure to aspire to, the semi-legendary conqueror famous for his ambition and military accomplishments. […]
Alexander’s sexuality has been the subject of debate among historians, but it is largely accepted that the great conqueror wasn’t strictly heterosexual.
Is this unnecessary, ridiculous homophobia and paranoia? I think so. What does it matter today, that 3rd-century BCE culture and social norms some how effects our sexuality today?
Ironically, many “anti-woke” influencers have a shallow understanding of history, and tend to fetishize time periods they don’t fully understand — they often refuse to acknowledge clashing cultural norms and assume that anything outside of heterosexual monogamy is some kind of modern deviation.
So… what say you? Do you think it makes any difference whatsoever that Alexander the Great might have been or probably was at least bisexual, like many great men of the Greek-Macedonian empire? If so, why? Explain in detail how his intimate personal life would change anything about his military and phenomenal cultural advancements for the entire world.
Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always
In a world of many mistakes I thought it would change. Could we make it out? Promises break so I need To hear you say, You will keep it now Not some other day.
I long for our talks, How you said my name. The way you twist, the way you rise and fall. Your heart on a sleeve and face, your strength through it all, the way you are in lace.
When the curtain called the time Will we both be home again? It wasn’t hard to feel the signs, the ease, your depth of femme Till love’s death Of peace of mind.
'Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it' - Terry Pratchett