Unplugging Kids

Interstate 45 Dallas to Houston

Interstate 45 Dallas to Houston

Several times a year during a holiday break our family would drive I-45 toward Galveston or I-35 toward Austin to spend time with family.  It was a trip I would always be excited about because of how much fun and mischief was going to be had with my many cousins.  One such game we would all play was bottle-rocket wars.  We would have these wars at night for as long as our money and rockets lasted.

My Uncle Bill was a construction worker and always had scrap metal and various random work site throw-aways out near his barn.  Three or four teams of two would have one cousin holding a 4-5 foot pipe while the other, with a bag of 30-50 bottle-rockets and two or three lighting pumps was the loader.  The loader placed the rocket in the back-end of the pipe like a bazooka, light the fuse and the shooter aimed as best he/she could.  Since most bottle-rockets were not an exact science as far as precision flight, these wars became hours of crazy laughing fun for us.  This is just one reason out of many that made the 5-hour drive so unbearably long for me and my sister because Dad could never drive fast enough.  For my parents it must have sometimes seemed like 12-hours.

This particular trip I’m sure my sister and I slept little the night before due to our growing anticipation; we were ready to come out of our skin.  About two hours into the drive in our four-door light blue Plymouth Gran Fury sedan, zipping along at 55-miles per hour, sitting in back with my sister, she would inevitably say something or do something to provoke me.  It was always her fault!

Several “stop its” and “you shut-up, no you shut-ups” later my Dad gave us our first warning.  Ten minutes would pass.  Again, my sister of course would whisper something mean to me or make a face at me, hence getting our second more firm warning from Dad.  Mom would try to intervene, sometimes successfully other times not.  She would not this go round.

The We’re-About-to-Blow Speech and Vulcan Death-Clamp

homerchokeMaybe 15-minutes later, my father’s voice raised several decibels and gave us one final ultimatum.  Had he not been driving he would have contorted out of the front seat and launched himself backwards to pop both of us on the legs or butts; and they would not have been love-taps.  His pops STUNG for a good ten minutes.  But the scariest part was knowing what was going to happen at the next stop.  Thinking about it was pure torture.  I’m sure Dad knew this too and worked it to the hilt.  One of his most potent we’re-about-to-blow speeches were when it included the Vulcan death-clamp under the collar-bone.  He’d stare at us like a drill sergeant.  It paralyzed us making our eyes seem to pop-out as our little knees quaked!  In my little mind not even God’s wrath scared me more than my Dad’s.

However, Dad explained he was not going to loose-it this time with us.  He had something different planned.  I doubt my idiot sister’s brain was processing as fast as mine trying to guess what “mystery punishment” was going to be thrown down.  I couldn’t imagine it would be anything that delayed our arrival with the family; Dad was a stickler for schedules and planning and no misbehaving kids of his were going to spoil the appointed arrival time.  After all, he was a mechanical engineer.  Precision was his specialty.  So what on earth could it be?  What was going to be the final fate of my sister and me?

Mile-Marker 241

Then the loose gravel on the shoulder of the highway began hitting the under-belly of the car.  Forty-five, forty, thirty, twenty-five miles per hour, then we came to a slow stop.  “Get out” he said sternly.  Mom looked at him puzzled.  Her expression didn’t ease my fear at all.  When I noticed that neither he nor my mother was getting out, I felt my palms get clammy and my pulse raise.  “Get out on the right side, both of you!” he said more firmly.  My sister looked like she had seen a ghost, but she exited the car with me.  He pointed “See that green sign that says 241?”  Then he explained what was about to happen for the next several miles.  We were going to find number 251.  Weird.  Was this a hunting math game?  Meanwhile, the traffic on the highway was whizzing by every few seconds, drivers and passengers all staring at our family moment as they passed.

Forrest Gump

Forrest Gump

Both of you will now run next to the car.  Do not walk, do not stop. Run!”  He slowly began to pull away.  My sister and I stood there in shock.  “Get over in the grass and run!” he yelled, like those were about to be his last words we would ever hear from him.  In the spirit of sheer fear which would have put Forrest Gump to shame, I ran….I ran like the wind!  My sister screamed and quickly found her legs as well.  Dad pulled a bit ahead of us; we sped up.  The long grass didn’t help our stride.  I tried to glance down to see what not to step in or stumble over, but I couldn’t keep my cue-ball sized eyes off the car for fear of being left!  “Come on…run!” he yelled out the windows.

A half-mile gone we are still running next to or just behind the car, but never ahead of it for some reason.  About every third or fourth vehicle passing us would honk.  I have no clue about why; maybe they were cheering us on, maybe they were expressing their hysteria.  I don’t know.  What I do remember was how embarrassing it all was every honk and quarter-mile as onlookers stared at us; some grinned, some laughing, some astonished but all of it humiliating.

Approaching a mile and a half my sister and I are panting.  Will he show us mercy?  Where the hell was the next damn sign?  “Run!” was the answer.  It was always his answer until our little arms and legs were becoming jello.  I believe that was just over two miles later.  I was trying too hard to suck in as much air as my mouth could capture to notice any mile-marker.

Are you two finished fighting?” as he slowed to a stop.  Since we couldn’t utter a word for lack of oxygen, we both managed desperate nods yes.  Once back into our seats still trying to breathe, I laid my head against the door unable to say or think anything coherent about my sister.  I didn’t care.  I just wanted oxygen!  Mission accomplished.

For the next three hours that drive was perhaps the most pleasant drive the four of us had ever had to date and would be for years.

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Live Laugh Love

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My Heretical Heritage

family treeBefore the 15th century word heretics had become common in Europe, three centuries earlier there was one group of non-conformists around the southeastern town of Lyon, France known as “the poor of Lyons” or the Waldensians.  In the literature of the time these “heretics” followed the teachings of a man known variously as Valdes, Valdesius, Valdensius, and Waldo (Valdo) from the city of Lyons.  Their apparent break from mainstream Catholicism began in about 1170 CE not because they gave up a life of comfort and wealth – in medieval Europe this was quite popular and common – but because Waldo began translating the Holy Scriptures into common speech and then allowed lay people to read it and share it anywhere.

Chambons, Italy

Chambons, Italy

If anyone is aware and knowledgeable of medieval Europe and the stranglehold the Roman Catholic Church and Vatican had over its parishioners and daily life, then you know the punishment for dissension or heresy was no slap-on-the-hand.  If the fathers or bishops deemed your behavior severe, you could lose your life or soul, or both.  The practices of Waldo and his followers was ecclesiastical usurping:  no one other than the church pontiffs could interpret and teach the Bible.  This crime was punishable by excommunication.  These are the times my maternal ancestors come from:  Waldensians:  the Bonnet clan of Chambons-Mentoulles of Cluson Valley, Italy and Lyon, France.

* * * * * * * * * *

Waldensian children were not spared

Waldensian children were not spared – Piedmont

Groups of “heretics” began surfacing all over 12th and 13th century Europe as the Vatican and Pope Lucias III persecuted such dissension more and more.  Many groups, including my ancestors, went into hiding or fled.  My ancestors eluded numerous arrests and escaped massacre after massacre.  During the late 1400’s several groups were fleeing into parts of Switzerland, and Germany, then Prussia the eventual birthplace of the Protestant Reformation.  By 1532 because of many doctrinal similarities the Waldensians officially joined the European Reformation inside congregations of Presbyterian and Calvinist churches.  The Bonnet clan (pronounced Bonné) and others found refuge in the Cluson Valley just outside of Turin.  They would soon be tracked down there.

The Catholic Duke of Savoy located the Waldensians (also known as the Vaudois) in the Piedmont region of Italy in April 1655.  This is known as the Piedmont Easter Massacre.  The English poet John Milton pinned a sonnet about the slaughter:

“Avenge, O Lord, thy slaughtered saints, whose bones
Lie scattered on the Alpine mountains cold,
Even them who kept thy truth so pure of old,
When all our fathers worshiped stocks and stones;

Forget not: in thy book record their groans
Who were thy sheep and in their ancient fold
Slain by the bloody Piedmontese that rolled
Mother with infant down the rocks. Their moans

The vales redoubled to the hills, and they
To Heaven. Their martyred blood and ashes sow
O’er all th’ Italian fields where still doth sway

The triple tyrant; that from these may grow
A hundredfold, who having learnt thy way
Early may fly the Babylonian woe.”

Elisabeth Charlotte

Elisabeth Charlotte

The Bonnet clan once again escaped…miraculously.  By 1699 persecutions and inquisitions by the Papacy and King Louis XIV forced my ancestors into hiding and fleeing again.  They settled their families in Charlottenberg, Germany outside of Koblenz.  There were 91 families remaining of Waldensians and Huguenot refugees from Italy, all welcomed by the Countess Elisabeth Charlotte Melander von Holzapfel-Schaumburg of Prussia (whew, say that 3-times fast!).  The hills and castles still exist there today as the town of Holzappel, Germany.

The late 17th century found many agricultural and economic hardships, even for The Poor of Lyons who graciously chose a modest frugal life focusing on others.  During the decades of 1830 to 1840, many Waldensians and Prussians had heard about and read about the ease of acquiring land deeds in a place called The Republic of Texas across the Atlantic Ocean.  The government there was ambitiously seeking Europeans of non-Spanish origin to come settle throughout central Texas.  Texas was near bankruptcy after fighting Mexico for independence and desperately sought to grow and stimulate their economy.  Johann Holzapfel from Charlottenberg had already started the immigration from Prussia, to Antwerp, Belgium, and on to Galveston, Texas in 1844.  My direct ancestor Philipp Daniel Bonnet (sometimes spelled Phillip) arrived at the port of Indianola, Texas in 1845 just months before the Republic was annexed into the United States.

Grave_Philipp Daniel BonnetMuch of the settlements of central Texas are of European heritage, particularly German.  The group of Prussians my family followed were the ones who founded New Braunfels, Texas.  Two generations later my great, great, great, great, great (five greats) grandfather Henry Daniel Bonnet moved to Austin, Texas and helped construct our state capitol building; little to no work could be found as New Braunfels and the surrounding towns had become over-populated with European immigrants seeking employment, land, and religious freedom.  My mother’s ancestors and family still populate several towns around Austin, including inside its city-limits.

* * * * * * * * * *

During the flow of immigration into 19th century Texas, my paternal ancestors arrived as well.  Not as much (or as detailed) is known about my father’s ancestors.  Perhaps they were not as fortunate inside the kill-infested parts of Catholic Europe.  However, and to my good fortune obviously, the few migrated to, settled and stayed near Galveston.  My paternal grandfather and grandmother are also of German-French heritage:  Miller (Mueller), Konzack, both German on his side, and Tacquard (French) on her side.  This side of my family is understandably much more distrustful of large organized religious institutions.

I remember my paternal grandfather had a strong independent personality.  He was one of few sons that had graduated from the University of Houston working most of his adult life at a chemical refinery.  Not surprisingly my father was agnostic.  His mother, my grandmother, I remember had a most kind gentle demeanor with a little pizzazz that shined on the dance floor.  She was an intermediate school teacher her entire life.  Both naturally loved family life and had unbelievable work ethics; they had to coming from and living through two world wars.

The most precious memories I have of my childhood and adolescence was the never-ending fun me and my cousins would have during family barbecues,  beer drinking (by adults of course! Well…), music and dancing on top of the saw-dusted pavilion or barn floor.  It was no surprise to me either, that in my same spiritual journey, why or how my two families found each other and became attracted.  The historical and genetic record fits nicely onto a most intriguing suspenseful family tree of how I came to be.

Magnolia bloom

Magnolia bloom

I was born into the best two families – deeply bound in an intimate, intense, painful, passionate yet supportive SURVIVING two families – a person could ever wish for.  It makes perfect sense why I have such deep Bohemian Free-thinking humanist-caring tendencies!  And I thank God…no, correction…the family tree that I come from such an incredible history!  I can picture my paternal grandmother teaching my father “We will teach you how to think, and not what to think” and my father passing down the same principle to me.  Decades later my mother, working at Southwestern Bell Telephone in Austin, meets my father on a blind date, he a part-time engineering student at the University of Texas in Austin and putting himself through college while working for an electrical company.  No surprise, there was a familiar (or familial) chemistry.  About four years later cupid’s arrow found its mark and at the risk of stating the obvious…so did my Dad!

One of my dad’s favorite trees was the evergreen magnolia tree, especially when it bloomed.  The flowers have a distinct smell, like fresh sweet lemonade.  He, myself and my sister planted one in the front yard.  When I last drove by the home of my youth, it had grown to some 40-50 feet into the sky.  I could only imagine how the neighborhood smelled when it bloomed.

As the past weekend of resurrection stories and folklore prevailed, my larger perspective was much more personal, much more caring in small ways, like a close family who, to understate, has learned in so many ways over so many generations the real-life meaning of Easter.

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Live Laugh Love

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Rabbits, Eggs and Crucifixions

MeaningoflifeOn this Good Friday and upcoming Easter Sunday, I am reminded again of my many years of Christian fundamentalism and fervor for all things sacred and committed.  Three-hundred and sixty-two days out of the year I am typically respectful and tolerant of opposing and differing world-views and faiths.  But during those bygone years and Easter weekends I was utterly baffled and amazed of the hundreds, maybe thousands of followers and believers that came out of the woodwork; out of nowhere!  Never before had I seen so many unrecognizable faces and families!  The outfits and hats, some of them gaudy, you thought you had taken a wrong turn to the red carpet of the Oscars.  On top of this awe was the fact that on this particular Sunday I and my family, as weekly members, would have to walk three-times further from our car to enter and exit our church.  The parking lot and spaces were filled to capacity that would challenge even Super Bowl Sunday!  What saddened me was that I would never see their faces again; maybe I would see them a year later.  Maybe.

lifeofbrianHaving gone to seminary for three years, learning the New Testament inside and out, and knowing (and back then complying) what God’s holy infallible scriptures direct us to do…. there was no possible way for anyone with at least a 9th-grade reading level to not at least comprehend what our/the “Savior” was asking us to do on a daily weekly basis.  As a result, Easter Sunday became one of my least favorite Sundays of the entire year.  I had developed an unattractive distaste for what it had become:  wayward and diluted.

Many things have now changed in my life and I’m happy to say, that in a spiritual, emotional, and mental aspect, for the better.  The comical irony of those changes would makeup another post of which I will spare all of you this time.  However, in the spirit of the day and holiday weekend, I will share two of my favorite 3-minute songs from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life and The Life of Brian.  These songs always make me smile and happy.  Don’t take things too serious but enjoy your holiday weekend in whatever manner you see fit — this is my way.  And with that…. Live well, Love much, Laugh often, Learn always.

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The A-C of Steampunk

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Tesla's 1893 Worlds Fair

1893 World’s Fair Chicago

The time was spring 1893 and the civilized western world was eagerly awaiting the start of the Chicago World’s Fair.  For months everyone had heard of a new technology that could light up entire cities without a drop of kerosene, the flicker of flame, or choking smoke.  No, it was not Thomas Edison’s light-bulbs, but Nikola Tesla’s waves of alternating currents that would illuminate the Fair’s entire neo-classical city, as if to bring back the great minds of Greece into the Victorian-era of technology.  President Grover Cleveland pushed a button and thousands of incandescent lamps lit-up the fairgrounds like little full moons.  The world would never be the same again.  Imagine yourself in that place, at that time, and all you had known at night was the bleak shimmering glow of yellow-orange hue around you.  Now you see everything under bright white beams that evaporate darkness.

What that night must have felt like — hearing all the on-looking gasps — I can only dream and sigh.

The Victorian-era was a thriving age of science, history, literature, exquisite fashion and art.  And although it had its inhumanity in such things as child labor and women’s suffrage, to name two, it is the origins of remarkable discoveries in medical vaccines, anatomy, chemistry, and physics (including the first ceramic toilet) that soon made the world a little easier to bear.  Today’s Steampunk is a tribute to those virtues.

The slide show below is for your modern-historical enlightenment of a few Neo-Victorian contraptions you might find at Steampunk shoppes or conventions.

Due to caption limitations of the slide viewer, I will expand a bit more here on some of the images.  The Time Travel Marker is worn like a wrist watch and tracks your present locale in the time-space continuum.  The Storytelling Machine is quite fascinating.  You choose a marble, roll it down a shoot, and when it hits the bottom a story plays out the gramophone.  It is also capable of detecting trolls.  The Zoopraxiscope is an early version of blending a sewing machine, lantern, and images to produce the first prototype film projector.  The Gravity Reduction Instrument reduces an object’s gravity field rendering it weightless.  Dr. Evermor’s Forevertron sculpture stands 50-ft high and 120-ft wide, and transports you into any timeframe your heart desires.  The Edison Bi-polar Electric Fan will convert your present neurological condition into its reciprocal by 3-minutes of inhalation…or perspiration!  And the Steampunk Smartphone is the ancestor to the iPhones and Smartphones of today.

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I hope this brief post conveys to you the allure of Steampunk.  I am in love with it because of my passion for history, ingenuity, science, and the brilliance of an applied mind for the greater social good.  I’m an addict for its zaniness; oh what I would give to go back for a day!  Every year the fashion of Steampunk blows my mind – the women’s side is pure romance – a hypnotic side for me I did not delve into this time to my heart’s disappointment.  Ah, but I will soon!

Think where we might be (or not be) today had the telegraph, telephone, or AC electricity not been discovered, utilized, and perfected.  You wouldn’t be reading this now.  Think what we might not be listening to or dancing to had the gramophone or record player not been dabbled with and perfected.  Modern America and Europe owe much of their better, healthier, educated lifestyles to the genius of Victorian doctors and scientists.  Imagine if Bohr, Newton, Tesla, Einstein or Edison had not asked why over and over, or dreamt what could be and not asked why not.  Imagine that we still lived in an age where we are told what to think rather than taught how to think.  Steampunk is an artistic expression of that unrestraint with homage to its ancestors.

Imagination is everything.  It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein

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The Illusion Game

chris-nicholls-0161In a university laboratory a scientist is collecting data and reactions of a student wearing high-tech goggles showing him what seems to be his own blue-jeans from the waist to his white-socked feet.  Right next to the student is a manikin with the same jeans and socks wired with a real-time video feed into his goggles.  As the scientist uses a soft brush to rub the manikin’s left-leg the student’s left-leg is also physically rubbed with an exact same brush, the student sees through his goggles and so feels the sensation on his left-leg.  All neurological connections for the test student are accurate.

The scientist then puts a large kitchen knife in front of the manikin’s camera near the manikin’s zipper.  Seeing this real-time knife in his goggles, the test student’s pulse heightens and begins to race.  The scientist turns the knife downward, raises it, and suddenly stabs the test student in the crotch.  The test student jumps, in fact, jumps violently.  What has just happened?

The power of optical illusion is far more reaching and subtle than we sometimes know; so much so that the illusions can make us react in completely unverified ways.

lampBars and clubs — there are likely no better examples of optical illusions than in places that welcome or promote “attraction” between the sexes or same-sexes; gender identity or orientation is irrelevant when it comes to The Game and profits.  And the online dating websites are no exception either.  Does this mean “avoid at all costs?”  Certainly not!  What it does mean is go in with active brain-cells and no illusions.  The adage “You get what you put in” is the bottom-line and that adage is so damn true in almost ANY place and circumstance, not just the bars, clubs, and dating websites.

I have come up with one of my best approach-lines ever in my 30+ years of ‘exploration’ and fun:  “Do you believe in the power of optical illusions?”  Nine times out of ten the answer gives me the desired result.  Sometimes I’d get the answer “What, objects in your mirror appear larger than they are?”  But even better, the benefit is ultimately two-way:  is my first-impression a high ROI (Return on Investment), or a flop?  And based on that answer the same question is extracted from the recipient:  what are they there for?  What kind of ROI are they seeking?  Next step.  The same process works just as well online too.

Do you believe in the power of illusion?

The next step after the approach-question is just as revealing:  “Do you believe in the power of verbal illusions?”  Same concept, varied results.  And with those varied results comes a clearer picture of the subject – which in all honesty reflects you as well.  Your inquiries reflect what you are after.  And none of it is inherently wrong or bad as long as the two (or group) understand what is being expressed.  How often do you think that happens?

Sexy-Fruit-Optical-IllusionIn the end I think it all comes down to this:  Say what you mean and do what you say.  If either of these are out of sync, then you have only yourself to turn to and re-examine.

Garbage in…garbage out. Garbage outward…garbage inward. Exquisite out…exquisite in. Beauty outward… beauty inward. Get the picture? Don’t be fooled by all the optical and verbal illusions. Question everything! More precisely, question everything you put outward and you’ll understand what you are attracting. I believe they call that The Laws of Attraction?

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