Tribute to Romance

On this upcoming lovely day of lips, hearts, the cherubs Eros and Love, and their sharp little arrows from clouds above, nailing many a smitten people in the butt-cheeks every February 14th without fail, I’d like to pay tribute to these cunning sharpshooters with chubby bellies and flappy wings.

As I began to first imagine and draft this blog-post in my head thinking about all the benefits to be loved and to love, why and with who (or whom), I eventually realized that these Cupids might not have the most precise aim or in ideal match-making, especially when it comes to us often barbaric, dense-headed heterosexual men! 😬

Case and point, according to LittleThings.com

Great Reasons to be A Woman

  • Women live longer, typically healthier lives.
  • Women have stronger immune systems.
  • Women are fantastic leaders.
  • Women handle stress pretty damn well.
  • Women have a greater capacity to hold on to profound memories and moments.
  • Women are flat out cleaner when it comes to housekeeping and hygiene.
  • Women have acutely stronger senses.
  • Women are great multitaskers.
  • Women have become more and more financially independent.
  • Women have stronger hearts, literally.

Now gentlemen, what do we offer in life for the lovely ladies to get excited about? What are we near-primate heterosexual men like to thrill the beautiful lasses and make their hearts leap and go pitter-patty? Hmm, this shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Great Reasons to Love A Man – Compared to Reasons Above!

  • We get a gold-star and lots of credit for even the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • Our undergarments are $15 for a three-pack, and that’s not even on sale.
  • We are incapable of seeing wrinkles in our clothes.
  • We do not need to shave below our neck.
  • One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons covered, for years!
  • We only know the actual names of (maybe?) five colors of the spectrum.
  • We can trust our buddies/mates to NEVER trap us with the trick question: “So, notice anything different?
  • We can do our fingernails either with our teeth, or a pocketknife.
  • Wedding dress: $2,700 — Tuxedo rental: $100.
  • Gray hair and skin wrinkles add more character.
  • Holiday shopping can be accomplished for 25-30 relatives and friends, on December 24th, in 45-mins or less.
  • If another Neanderthal man shows up at our party in the same outfit, we might become lifelong pals/mates.

Now, when we look and compare these two lists, I mean, COME ON gals! Is it any wonder why we bring so much to the Den of Love & Everlasting Romance!? 💞💘 And on a final note…

Three Wishes

One day a typical Neanderthal-primate man spotted an old lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and out popped this magical Genie.

“I will grant you your fondest wish this day.”

The man racked his dense cranium for several moments in an effort to get this decision just perfect, then in brilliant excitement he said, “I want a spectacular job, a job that no man on Earth has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do in all of history!

Granted,” said the Genie and POOF! There was a cloud of smoke and sparkly pixie-dust.

“You are a woman and housewife.”

Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always – Men, Beg for More Forgiveness! 😉

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Disposition

Moments. There are moments in your life that define you. The crossroad laying before you that set the wheels in motion, all the wheels different with different outcomes. I have done some great things in my life. I have done some stupid things in my life. And I have done some things, little and big, that at first were stupid and then turned out to be the perfect thing; the right thing. The stuff when you say afterwards, “Get out the front door! Who’d of thunk?

I have been accused of having a flair for the dramatic. This probably qualifies. It is a true story.

carolyns-rag-dollGrowing up my little sister and I lived just a short walking distance from Pecan Grove Park. Mom would sometimes take us there after school or on weekends to get a break, a breather, by unleashing our never-ending supply of energy six, seven, or eight year olds possess. On this day to the park, my sister brought her rag-doll that she was never without. She had gotten it for her birthday weeks earlier. She slept with it. She traveled with it. She was proud of it. She loved it. It seemed like my second sister to me — and honestly, their relationship made me gag sometimes. At that age I guess a young boy hasn’t matured enough to understand that bond.

We had played out our afternoon park-time and it was time to walk back home. Our home, it’s street, and the park was divided by a busy major boulevard. Mom insisted on holding our hands every time we crossed because there was always traffic and sometimes a car or two that were driving above the indicated speed limit. It didn’t help either that where we usually crossed was atop a hill, where from one direction traffic wasn’t visible until it was just 40-50 yards away. The nearest red-light intersection was two or three blocks down the way, and if taken, two or three blocks right back up to our home street. Crossing the six-lane boulevard was too dangerous for me and my sister alone; that was made abundantly clear. This particular time of day was no exception.

Standing at the curb waiting for the right time, the perfect time, Mom held my hand tight. She’d lean forward but then stop, gripping our hands tighter to make sure we stayed put. The wind from the passing cars would blow my hair and my Mom’s and sister’s skirts. She would lean again, but stopped. This seemed to go on for ten minutes but looking back on it, she was simply calculating how quickly she could get across — at least to the median — with two small kids in her hands before the fast-moving cars would get close…too close. I sensed her rising anxiety.

Suddenly it was lift-off! “COME ON! NOW!” Mom yelled, and with our first step I don’t think our little feet touched the concrete! The three of us darted as quickly as we could to the middle! Gasping we had to stop. There was too much rushing traffic to make it all the way across. Now comes the harder part. We had to go through it all again:  cross(?)…don’t cross! Step(?)…step back! There would not be as much time to judge the oncoming cars because of the hill. Mom was more nervous, her grip squeezed much tighter. LIFT OFF! Run! Run! And then my sister let out a blood-curdling scream.

We are safely on the other side as vehicles whizzed by but with one exception.

My sister had dropped her doll in the middle of the street and was beside herself bawling. Topping the hill are a couple of fast-moving cars. Lying motionless just twenty-five, thirty feet away, I stared at… my ‘second sister‘ who was probably about to get smashed and torn apart while my hysterical real sister watched. For the next few seconds the Earth stopped rotating, the noise, the engines, and the bawling fell silent… and time stood still. A moment became this moment.

In a split second Mom had my hand, in the next it was gone. I jerked it out and took off running those 30-feet — that blurred into a mile — with only one thing in my sight. Got her! I held her to my chest. I am standing motionless in the center. I realize I am not making it back. Time slows even more. I thought, the cars always travel between the lines, between the white dashes. That is where I must stand as they all (fly by it seemed to me) pass by. I cannot move; if I do, I become unpredictable to the drivers and their machines of major pain. Two or three cars pass and I run back to Mom and my sister. My sister was frozen silent with a gaping mouth staring at me. Mom was now screaming…at me! How odd I thought. I handed my sister her doll and got a smile I can never forget. Mom was a different story. I remember thinking how much trouble I was going to get into when Dad heard about it. In hindsight, I think his punishment scared me a lot more than what I had just done in the middle of Kiest Boulevard. In further hindsight today, saving my sister’s doll while almost putting my Mom into a mental institution was clearly a bone-head move, a moment, an impetus that could’ve defined my life permanently like many others I have pulled since:  What Was I Thinking?

Would I do it again? Yes. Looking back over my many decades of stunts, of impulses, of moments of truth… I would do it again. I know myself too well. It’s who I am. Please do not tell my insurance agent.

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For my sister and Mom:  Happy Valentines.

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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