Tribute to Romance

On this upcoming lovely day of lips, hearts, the cherubs Eros and Love, and their sharp little arrows from clouds above, nailing many a smitten people in the butt-cheeks every February 14th without fail, I’d like to pay tribute to these cunning sharpshooters with chubby bellies and flappy wings.

As I began to first imagine and draft this blog-post in my head thinking about all the benefits to be loved and to love, why and with who (or whom), I eventually realized that these Cupids might not have the most precise aim or in ideal match-making, especially when it comes to us often barbaric, dense-headed heterosexual men! 😬

Case and point, according to LittleThings.com

Great Reasons to be A Woman

  • Women live longer, typically healthier lives.
  • Women have stronger immune systems.
  • Women are fantastic leaders.
  • Women handle stress pretty damn well.
  • Women have a greater capacity to hold on to profound memories and moments.
  • Women are flat out cleaner when it comes to housekeeping and hygiene.
  • Women have acutely stronger senses.
  • Women are great multitaskers.
  • Women have become more and more financially independent.
  • Women have stronger hearts, literally.

Now gentlemen, what do we offer in life for the lovely ladies to get excited about? What are we near-primate heterosexual men like to thrill the beautiful lasses and make their hearts leap and go pitter-patty? Hmm, this shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Great Reasons to Love A Man – Compared to Reasons Above!

  • We get a gold-star and lots of credit for even the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
  • Our undergarments are $15 for a three-pack, and that’s not even on sale.
  • We are incapable of seeing wrinkles in our clothes.
  • We do not need to shave below our neck.
  • One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons covered, for years!
  • We only know the actual names of (maybe?) five colors of the spectrum.
  • We can trust our buddies/mates to NEVER trap us with the trick question: “So, notice anything different?
  • We can do our fingernails either with our teeth, or a pocketknife.
  • Wedding dress: $2,700 — Tuxedo rental: $100.
  • Gray hair and skin wrinkles add more character.
  • Holiday shopping can be accomplished for 25-30 relatives and friends, on December 24th, in 45-mins or less.
  • If another Neanderthal man shows up at our party in the same outfit, we might become lifelong pals/mates.

Now, when we look and compare these two lists, I mean, COME ON gals! Is it any wonder why we bring so much to the Den of Love & Everlasting Romance!? 💞💘 And on a final note…

Three Wishes

One day a typical Neanderthal-primate man spotted an old lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and out popped this magical Genie.

“I will grant you your fondest wish this day.”

The man racked his dense cranium for several moments in an effort to get this decision just perfect, then in brilliant excitement he said, “I want a spectacular job, a job that no man on Earth has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do in all of history!

Granted,” said the Genie and POOF! There was a cloud of smoke and sparkly pixie-dust.

“You are a woman and housewife.”

Live Well – Love Much – Laugh Often – Learn Always – Men, Beg for More Forgiveness! 😉

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Tiptop Improv Returns!

When I had heard that one of my all-time favorite comedy shows was returning for at least one more, maybe two more seasons, my jaw dropped and I let go the screaming SHUT THA FRONT DOOR!!!! shoving my friend over the side of the couch. From years gone by… back to my prim-ier years (Drew Carey hosted), even to my days right out of college (Clive Anderson hosted) when my Dad and I watching religiously, laughing non-stop! Was it really happening? Could it be? It was indeed a dream come true, reborn.

Whose Line Is It Anyway was back on the air with the usual suspects Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles, Wayne Brady, a special guest, and hosted by Aisha Tyler. I frackin’ frickin’ fruitin’ LOVE this show! Let the predictable unpredictable rib-breaking commence!

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Pure unadulterated laughter, the best medicine. If you used to watch this entertaining hyper-ventilating 30-mins of hilarity and have any favorite scenes, share them below if you can! All are welcomed!

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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Blog content with this logo by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.com/contact-me/.

Slippery Nitty-Gritty

While relaxing and mind-vegging last night as a change-of-pace for a busy day, I ran across one of my favorite Dreamworks animated movies, Shrek the Third, while flipping channels. I’ve seen them more than once, I like all of them, a lot, but I was curiously caught off guard by one scene in the film I found oddly applicable and humorously accurate to some WordPress comment-threads lately that myself and other blog-friends have been involved.

For those of you that know about what I write — John Zande, Arkenaten, Nan, Scottie, Jeff, Robert, and some others — this parody is for you/us. Watch first the scene I’m referring to, then after… down below, I will change the character names to enhance the humor.  😀

Now for character-name changes and adjusted script…

  • Prince Charming = Prince Prober (reasonable scrutiny)
  • Capt. Hook = Capt. Spook aka ColoringSprinkles
  • Shrek = Gawd In Carnations
  • New Heir/Arthur = Prince Kryst
  • Pinnochio = J. BrainYawn

Lights, camera, action…

Prince Prober: You! …You can’t lie. So tell me, puppet… where is Gawd In Carnations?

J. BrainYawn: Well… I don’t know where he’s not.

Prince Prober: You’re telling me you don’t know where Gawd In Carnations is?

J. BrainYawn: It wouldn’t be inaccurate to assume… …that I couldn’t exactly not say that is or isn’t almost partially incorrect.

Prince Prober: So you do know where he is!

J. BrainYawn: On the contrary, I’m possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty… that undeniably

Prince Prober: Stop it!

J. BrainYawn: …I do not know where he shouldn’t be. If that indeed wasn’t where he isn’t. Even if he wasn’t not where I knew he was, it could mean…

[On the good ship Lollipop…]

Piglet #2: Enough! Gawd In Carnations went off to bring back the next heir!

Prince Prober: He’s bringing back the next heir?

J. BrainYawn: NO!

Prince Prober: Spook! Get rid of this new “King Kryst”. But bring Gawd In Carnations to me. I have something special in mind for him.

J. BrainYawn: He’ll never fall for your tricks!

All of you enjoy the rest of your week and have a weekend of laughing and debauchery!

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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Blog content with this logo by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.com/contact-me/.

And Now Something Different

Too often this life, planet, and all of us living on it can get overwhelmingly serious and downright depressing, right? With the circus that has been our 2016 U.S. Presidential campaign and our two Keystone Cops political parties, I thought it was now time to laugh. In general laugh more at all the utter ridiculousness that makes up this paradoxical existence some struggle to embrace. It is said that “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Therefore, without further ado I give you a slide show of some of my favourite images and memes that always remind me of what a funny wonderful life we have — they also pander shamelessly to my Bohemian decadence. I hope a few make you laugh.

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Did you find one or two that you liked most? Comment about it/them below or share one of your own favorites! I’d love to see them. 😉

Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

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Britain’s Top Lorry Drivers Go Head-2-Head

Top Gear’s Richard Hammond, Jeremy Clarkson, James May

Laughter is truly one of the best medicines and I usually get my fix from this threesome:  Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May of BBC’s auto and all-things-mobile show, Top Gear.  This series is now approaching 17 award-winning seasons.  It is very difficult for me to pick only one all-time favorite, but undoubtedly this episode ranks as one of my top five.  I hope you have about 35 minutes to spare to watch these three guys attempt being even decent Lorry drivers (in American English: truck drivers) because it is typical but also atypical British wit at its best!  Enjoy….


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