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About Professor Taboo

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A Familiar Date

glass-half-fullBe glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place–
be glad your nose is on your face!

“Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face” by Jack Prelutsky

Reflection.  Today is a day not so ordinary for me.  Today I find myself in silent reflection over a collage of memories spanning five decades.  Ugh, I said it.  A jagged horse-pill in some ways, but in others a medal of honor.  A question I sometimes ask myself is this, “Would you change anything?”  Before marriage, having children, and then going through a painful divorce, my youthful perfectionist side would answer abso-frickin-lutely!

Yet, as I reminisce there are so many things I would not change.  And upon this realization, I sit….quietly and peacefully, and honestly a wee-bit uncomfortably.  It is such a strange bag of life I’ve collected filled with (but not full) a plethora of emotions.  I am finding on this familiar date that as I reach inside to pick what I want to keep, I honestly do not want to discard anything, no matter how painful the memory might be.  Why is that?  Does that make me masochistic?   Why would I want to make my bag “heavier”?  And then it hits me.

My father, as much as he was a mentally tough ex-marine perfectionist, one day taught me in his own imperfect way a painfully invaluable life lesson.  I believe I was eleven or twelve years old.  I was mowing, trimming hedges, and edging our neighbor’s yard while they were away.  I was using their lawn equipment because if I had used our lawn equipment, Dad was going to charge me a rental-fee.  The edger my neighbors owned was the single-cylinder side-mounted blade on two wheels you would carefully guide between the concrete and the edge of the grass.  I had never used one of these machines.  When I finished edging the entire yard, I looked around the machine for the power-switch.  Nothing.  Not any sort of button or lever that even resembled a power-switch.  Placing the still running machine in a safe position, I went to get Dad for help.

When we returned to the running edger, he pointed to and explained that the L-shaped metal lever next to the exposed spark-plug cut the electrical circuit running through the engine.  He told me push and hold the lever onto the spark-plug and the engine will simply die.  Wow!  Easy enough, so I reached down put my finger on the metal lever, pushed it onto the spark-plug….and WHAM!  The most violent electrical shock I had ever experienced in my life!  My arms were shaking and trying to seize up.  In utter astonishment I looked up at my Dad wondering…what did I do wrong?  He told me again, push the metal lever onto the spark-plug and hold it there until the engine dies.  I think to myself I haven’t corrected anything I did before.  But out of total trust and obedience for my father, I pushed it down again….longer this time to try and kill that engine!  WHAM but now for 3-4 more violent seconds!  In tears I look up again at my Dad, shocked that his instructions were not working and more shocked that he was repeating the same instructions….”Turn it off” he said.  Again, I tried and again the same result but for a second or two longer.  I am now bawling.  My hands and arms are quivering on the verge of seizure.  I am scared shitless and I want the pain to just go away.

Calmly and compassionately my father finally changed his instruction and pointed to my other hand, “Do you see where your other hand is? See what it is holding?”  Through my tear-drenched eyes I looked over and noticed I was holding the metal part of the handle bars.  I was completing the circuit from my hand, to the lever, through the spark-plug, through the mounted engine, through those handle bars, into my other hand and into my body.  “Move your hand onto the plastic” he said “and then cut the engine off.”  It stopped almost immediately.

For the next hour or so I hated my father.  I wanted to pound on him in anger.  But with each passing year and each passing decade, I understand more and more how unimaginably valuable that very painful lesson was for me.  It was painful not only in respecting the lethal power of electricity, but perhaps more importantly for making me realize that painful lessons have their merit too.  As I reflect back on this familiar day all the beautiful memories I’ve been gifted to experience, I can be equally grateful for the painful lessons and memories — in their weird strange ways they make my cup half full, never half empty.  After everything I’ve experienced and everywhere I’ve been these last five decades, I am quite certain that my life could be so much worse.  I am grateful for what it has brought me and what is still to come.

I love you and miss you Dad. Thank you.

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Live Laugh Love

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This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.

No That’s Not What We Meant

Mayan-CalendarFriday, December 21st, 2012 has come and gone without any apocalyptic event, and perhaps to the chagrin of many hyper-dooms-dayers.  Much of the fears and predictions are fortunately based in the misunderstanding of the Mayan calendars and how they worked within the 250 – 900 BCE civilization.  Attempting to project contemporary ideas of time onto the ancient Mayan methods of time would be like attaching square wheels to your car — it is a show of ignorance.

The Mayans had three circular calendars, each with a different purpose.  The first calendar was their Tzolk’in calendar, or Sacred calendar.  It consisted of 260 days and was used for scheduling religious ceremonies.  When the calendar was exhausted it would simply start over again.

The second circular calendar was their Haab’, or Secular calendar.  This consisted of 365 days but did not account for the extra quarter-day it takes Earth to cycle around our Sun.  Our miscalculated modern Western calendar corrects this by adding a leap year about every four years then removing the extra February day the following three years.

The third circular calendar and the one receiving most of the hoopla is the Long Count calendar.  This calendar consisted of about 5,125.36 years and completes its major cycle every December 21st.  Once exhausted, another 5,125 years will begin again.  What astronomers have since learned in the last several decades is that our Sun indeed aligns with the center of the Milky Way, however, pinpointing the exact date cannot be determined in any particular year.  What forms the “Milky Way center” is still a debate among scientists.  They also gladly report that there is no alignment-phenomena of planets or the Sun that will pull Earth’s crust apart or shift its magnetic poles on a specific date.

Our solar system, our planet, and much of the cosmos are cyclical; things ebb and flow, collapse and morph into new creations over and over.  What most scientists, astronomers, geologists, and the like do agree on is that there are any number of catastrophic possibilities that could change our lives on Earth as we know it.  This is a common fact.  It could happen on any given day, but to prophesy an exact date and time is as likely as you picking winning Lotto numbers.

For a good logical scientific explanation of the Mayan calendars, read the article at Live Science.

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Live Laugh Love

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Creative Commons License
This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.

Reminiscing A Strange Village

All through high school and my first three years of college, I never really slept; not because of studies or partying but because one band, one drummer, and this one song were my dream-pill.  I couldn’t sleep because when my lights went off I would always push my stereo power-button on, lay down the vinyl LP “Hemispheres” on side two, find the fourth song (a 9 minute instrumental), put my huge earphones on, crank-up the volume then lay down in my bed and travel…transcendentally.  This was my pleasure, my drug-of-euphoria.  Astoundingly, even today this song takes me on wondrous journeys to faraway Strange Villages.

To aid you in our journey the song’s 12 sections are listed on the video as your guide.  There are no penalties if you choose to close your eyes and go it alone.  I recommend it.  Here is La Villa Strangiato by Rush.  Won’t you travel with me?

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After the

Andain is a music duo out of San Francisco, CA with an electronic-acoustical blend of dark emotional sounds and lyrics.  This is exactly why I dig their music.  This particular song “After:” speaks to the circumstance of loss, separation, or abandonment in life — a very real part of families and/or relationships…and really about life itself.  Life is never just about roses, riches, and R&R.  Many things and many relationships that are raw, have their painful ups and downs.  Try to connect with the singer Mavie Marcos and what she is expressing…

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Feeling the flame burn
Feeling my veins hurt
After the wave forms
After the world storms

You spoke in side words
Failing the offer
Sending me out there
Feeling the cold air

You’re gone
You’re gone

Feeling the right words
Feeling the unheard
After the wave forms
After the world storms

You broke in my fears
Leaving me inside
Sending me out there
Feeling the cold air

You’re gone, I open
I will, I will see
Up and up and on and on and
Down and over me

And night after night of fooling myself
I would like to rewind and find something I’d never felt
And night after night I would tire of fooling myself
I could find what it’s like to lose something after it fell

As you’re gone I open
I will, I will see
Up and up and on and on and
Down and over me

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Living Steampunk

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If you have about $1.6 million lying around and a hankering for the classically quirky innovation of the Victorian era,  then this New York City apartment situated in Chelsea is your chrono-plasmatic cup of tea.  The flat is 1,800+ square feet of zany Steampunk delight.  The large kitchen rests under a LED glowing Zeppelin, a hidden bathroom behind cogs and pulleys, a bedroom underneath a silk greenhouse-frame, and a spacious 500 square foot terrace surrounded by green bamboo.  The front door is an oxidized submarine hatch with a locking porthole from the inside as if it came right off Captain Nemo’s Nautilus.  Feast your eyes on a literal living museum of a wondrous age gone by.

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