She Was A Knockout!

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Professor Taboo

I had retired from my semi-pro and professional soccer career and was in a transition trying to decide what I wanted to do next. It was 1996 and for the time being I was helping a friend manage one of north Dallas’ well-known nothing-but-soccer retail stores. Many times coaches, team captains, and booster-clubs would come in for assistance in ordering team uniforms for the upcoming school or amateur league seasons. This time of year also included the local women’s teams and co-ed teams. But before I go any further, let me explain the well-known fact risk a “retired” male professional (and lifetime single-gender) soccer player takes when joining an amateur co-ed team and league.

The Play-At-Your-Own-Peril Rule

I began playing soccer at the age of ten. By middle school I was playing competitive soccer – what today is called select soccer – and wanted not only to play professionally, but try to at least make the U.S. Men’s National Team roster. What was often whispered among such serious players with such lofty dreams was try your best not to play with or against the clueless recreational teams and players, but more critically never play with or against girls. Now ladies, before you go into your rant, please bear with me and let me explain what it’s about and why it was a whispered rule.

First of all, not playing against recreational teams is a policy most major sports franchises enforce and hence protect their high-valued stars. Second of all, and a lesson I learned several times in my career, from a tactical and confidence standpoint the stronger professional players gain very little or nothing at all by playing the weaker/amateur team other than a practice, or an opportunity to let 2^nd and 3^rd stringers get playing time. In those rare cases the pro team takes a slim chance in damaging their status or image if they play poorly or worse, lose.

The reason male pro players almost never play competitively against women – and I am genuinely not trying to insult female athletes – is for the simple reason that both teams and genders risk unnecessary injury. In sports, on the whole, women’s bodies move differently than men’s. Momentum, for whatever reason, is initiated and managed differently between the genders. If you don’t believe me, simply watch the two sexes in slow-motion action and how they ‘collide’.

It is a well-established unspoken rule that in competitive contact sports a man plays at his own risk against women. I had known this law for eighteen years.

The Never-ending Beer and Female Introductions Carrot

Returning now to 1996, three attractive female soccer players have been visiting our soccer store often in preparation for the upcoming co-ed season opener. Their player roster is also not complete; they desperately need a goalkeeper! For reasons unknown to me, no one presently on the team wanted to play goalkeeper. And before these very charming women asked, I knew exactly what was about to come out of their seductive mouths…. “We have heard about how good a goalkeeper you are and that you’ve even played professionally!” Huh!? I wasn’t expecting that approach! Hmm, I’ll give ‘em that…. stroking my ego is a good tactical move. But you ladies, I was thinking, are going to have to come up with a lot more before I even entertain the remote possibility of risking my safety! I shook my head two or three times, No, sorry ladies.

And then came the coup d’état.

“We will buy” they countered with smirks “all of your beer after every game and promise to introduce you to a minimum of three HOT women players each weekend!” To say I was aroused would be gross understatement. “When does the season start?” I replied.

In my hyper-excited mind, I imagined consecutive weekends of hot dates galore and massive amounts of sleep-overs. The score line of our games or whether we had a winning season or not was of absolutely no concern for me. I happily signed my lop-sided contract!

Game 1 of 12

The referee’s opening whistle blew. The comical usual cheering and smack-talk began from both teams and their fans/family members on the sidelines. It truly made me laugh; I had already heard the most abusive and slandering and loudest rhetoric in my career having played around the world. I was more entertained by my thoughts of the post-game festivities. Damn, we were only about ten minutes into our game. Ah, here comes a cross into my penalty box from my left, between the penalty spot and the eighteen-yard line….easy, easy pickings. I quickly come out to snatch it.

I scream the usual scream to my defense “Keeper’s!” I launch into my usual very high-vertical leap, snag the ball with extended arms ABOVE my head, and as per my umpteen years of training and experience proceed to pull the ball down into my chest….. but then SLAM and everything goes black and silent.

The next moment I remember are the EMT’s putting the smelling sauce under my nose. HOLY SHIT my entire jaw and face are in excruciating pain! The EMT’s keep asking me several questions, load me onto their gurney, and I am transported to the nearest ER. There the attending physician informs me that I need 10 stitches on my right under side edge of my chin, and my jaw is broken in two places on the left side near the front of my ear. I will also have to have my jaw and mouth wired shut for six to eight weeks. Two of those three women who talked me in to playing are there consoling me “…they didn’t score.” With my best scolding look I murmured what I hoped sounded like “This is NOT how I wanted to frickin meet women!” I mean shit, I never even saw her! How many beers could have been bought with the upcoming ambulance, emergency room, and doctors bill!?

My co-ed season was over before it began.

Manchester United's Jones is carried off the pitch on a stretcher during their English Premier League soccer match against Arsenal in London

Image courtesy of rakball.net

Further details of the collision shared by them made my predicament even more depressing – and over time, made theirs a favorite pub story. A long story short, the girl THOUGHT by unimaginable lotto odds, she’d have a chance to head that ball…. with her eyes closed for God’s sake! The top of her head hit my chin if that gives you ANY idea of how wrong she was! And by the way, that ball she thought she could head was firmly in my hands three-feet above my chin! In my profession, on my futebol pitch, with other professional male athletes, it was a NO BRAINER that no one could have had any chance of getting their head on that ball. They would not have even jumped! I hope as you are reading you are picking up on my enraged astonishment.

May 2013

I am fortunate to have great dental genetics from both parents. As I was taught by my parents, I take above average care of those teeth. As a result, I have learned that my mouth is fine with irregular orthodontic checkups; like on the every 3 to 5 year frequency or more. In fact, I did not get my first cavity until I was 24-years old and it was barely a cavity. Often orthodontists would admire my teeth, entire mouth and all my wisdom teeth.

This time I was returning to the dentist after twelve years. However, this visit I knew I was well past the “praise” of the hygienist and her doctor: I had what was likely a developing abscess. I was expecting the dreaded line “Yes, it will have to come out.” But then my new orthodontist asked a question that was totally from left field.

“Have you ever had a traumatic facial injury?”

The Good News, the Bad News, and the Recurring News

My orthodontist confessed that he really didn’t have to ask that question; he knew I had had a traumatic facial injury. He was viewing all the evidence on the x-rays up in the light. In his many years of practice he had seen it a thousand times. And once again, I had to retell the above story to him. As I was about to begin, I thought to myself, that damn invisible woman is STILL haunting me! And that proverbial line: I didn’t even get her name. The dentist begins his verdict…

The good news is that for not being in for a checkup and cleaning for ages, your condition is good and normal. The bad news is that not only does that abscessed tooth need to come out, but you have two more that need extraction, probably a fourth, and maybe a fifth. “And you know what’s strange about your condition,” he asked, “you don’t have cavities in any of those 3-5 teeth!” The erupting roots in all those teeth are a result of that facial injury.

Now over the next 3-weeks, I will be getting surgical extractions, fitted for a 3 or 5 toothed denture, and paying $2,500 – $5,000 to stop any further problems; from a problem that began with: When does the season start?

The 1970’s Carpenters song Close to You goes on and on in my head:

That is why all the girls in town
(Girls in town)
Follow you
(Follow you)
All around
[But I saw nothing!]…
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you

* * * * * * * * * *

An All-Points-Bulletin for athletic men who have weakened will-power around all things seductively female:

Sooner or later, one way or another, you WILL pay for a woman’s company, that introduction, and anything else you desire of her!

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Live Well — Love Much — Laugh Often — Learn Always

This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
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DRD4-7R

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Professor Taboo

Orchid?

No, it is not a new type of iPhone, or video recorder, or measurement, or even the launch code for your nearby missile silo. Give up trying to guess what DRD4-7R is because it is so small, so tiny, that you will never touch it. It could be inferred that cats have it, but that assumption would fall short when they returned home, every time. No, it is not explicitly manifested in any animal on Earth and it cannot be found in any plant or stone. But it is indeed part of our human wiring.

Many times throughout my adult life I have asked myself Why am I so intrigued with new things, new places, new feelings, and new people? Why do I start to get restless over a long period of time seeking new adventures? I accepted long ago that I have this Marco Polo type personality; I love to inquire. I love to explore! Why? If you understand the purpose and nuances of goalkeepers in sports, like hockey or my lifetime sport soccer, then you’ll understand this one: why did I choose to, no persisted in playing the position of goalkeeper? What sane person wants objects hurled or kicked at them hard? Then the other day I read a fascinating article in the January 2013 issue of National Geographic magazine ironically asking and answering my same questions! This totally explains my addiction to everything National Geographic! More please! I read further. Ah, dopamine. It’s the dopamine! Hmm, duh.

Or dandelion?

For those of you with a slight variant of dopamine than perhaps I and others may have, dopamine “is a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Dopamine also helps regulate movement and emotional responses, and it enables us not only to see rewards, but to take action to move toward them. Dopamine deficiency results in Parkinson’s Disease, and people with low dopamine activity may be more prone to addiction. The presence of a certain kind of dopamine receptor is also associated with sensation-seeking” according to Psychology Today. Not so coincidentally, though I am not an “addict,” several of my extended family members are addicts…as well as my sister. I guess I selfishly stole most of it from mother’s womb before my sister could snatch any. I know she’ll argue this, but I was always quicker than her! And not surprisingly, several laboratory studies in Europe, Israel, and the U.S. have found that a lack of the 7R variant is linked to depression or lower motivation. I found this result very interesting.

As I continued to read, in my mind all the dots — from the broad picture down to the microscopic — were connecting and making perfect sense; perfect harmony like a homecoming. But not permanent! A homecoming and going! And my fascination with bird cages — naturally with an open door or no door — now made sense too.

Orchids versus Dandelions

Am I an orchid thriving in stimulating environments, or am I a dandelion that manages to adapt and survive in harsh environments?

Perhaps the better question would be could there be hybrids of the two? David Dobbs has written several articles on this gene and the genetic-cultural roots of human temperament, and is the writer of this National Geographic article that has captivated me. He explains:

“If an urge to explore rises in us innately, perhaps its foundation lies within our genome. In fact, there is a mutation that pops up frequently in such discussions: a variant of a gene called DRD4, which helps control dopamine, a chemical brain messenger important in learning and reward. Researchers have repeatedly tied the variant, known as DRD4-7R and carried by roughly 20 percent of all humans, to curiosity and restlessness. Dozens of human studies have found that 7R makes people more likely to take risks; explore new places, ideas, foods, relationships [guilty in the 1st degree there!], drugs, or sexual opportunities [should I say it again?]; and generally embrace movement, change, and adventure. Studies in animals simulating 7R’s actions suggest it increases their taste for both movement and novelty. (Not incidentally, it is also closely associated with ADHD.)”

"Take one 10mg tablet once daily; for severe cases take with liquor in a Hazmet suit."

“Take one 10mg tablet once daily; for severe cases take with liquor in a Hazmat suit.”

In another March 2012 article on Wired.com, Dobbs further explains:

“This revisionist hypothesis is known variously as the sensitivity hypothesis, the differential susceptibility hypothesis, or the orchid-dandelion hypothesis — a term that Thomas Boyce and Bruce Ellis coined based on the vernacular Swedish term “dandelion children,” who seem to grow up okay in almost any environment; to that they added “orchid children,” who thrive under good care but wilt under bad. It is a young hypothesis, hatched 15 years ago and obscure for most of that time. But in the last two or three years it has gained enormous traction, spreading through behavioral genetics, child development, and anthropology.”

At this point in my reading and research I feel as if I’m reading parts of my biography or journal called This Is Who I Am and Why. It helps me at least process further and understand so many how’s and why’s, like Why have I been ~~single~~ unmarried most of my life? Have I not been hanging around long enough in the right flower or weed gardens!? Does this explain my need for Zyrtec at certain times and circumstances of the year! Geeezzzz. It does make sense: like a love-hate thing for the beauty of new outdoor places, but then you discover all the annoying bugs, insects, reptiles, and yes, inevitably Medusa! No, I’m kidding…..about nature’s creatures. Hah!

On a serious note however, geneticist are also associating the 7R variant, and another: the 2R, back to our ancient ancestors in Africa 70,000 – 50,000 years ago. For a quick tutorial read my post Our Family Reunion.

Anthropologists suggest that this minority of humans are the reason mankind migrated out of Africa; to find new sources of food and a different way of life. Scientist do know that astronauts or cosmonauts, or whatever title the sponsoring group bestows on their explorers/adventurers, 7R is definitely found in their genetic code. They are the risk-reward breed and today they are found in many walks of life. On a spectrum left to right 1 through 5, left being pure orchids (1)….right being pure dandelions (5), I am firmly a two if not one-and-a-half. I most definitely get restless after long periods of routine. I am not saying I am ADHD and can’t focus — on the contrary I am very task-oriented — but I am most certainly not a permanent settler! This is probably why I have some, umm, excuse me….(ahhh-CHOU!) dandelion in me: I am happy to adapt….to what I want to adapt to….and as long as a few other Bohemians are around, then I will be first in line! Let’s go!

Are you an orchid or a dandelion? Or perhaps something in between? And why?

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Footnote — For the full Dobbs National Geographic magazine article, go to this link: Restless Genes

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This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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Let Your Fears Go

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Professor Taboo

Sunlounger & Zara Taylor

As my previous post stated, I have done a lot of work outdoors. Some of it enjoyable and some of it down right exhausting. Up, down, up, down…kneel, squat, bend over (don’t let your imaginations go there!), then repeat. Yet what has made it all more a labor of love and not just labor has been the addition of my music. My vocal trance music which is energizing and upbeat with gorgeous vocals and addicting rhythms. The addicting rhythms are most definitely the cause of my many sore stiff shoulder muscles and abs! Ah, the wonderful pain that is good and healthy! It is welcomed soreness that some of you, like me, who have been and a part of the BDSM lifestyle can deeply understand. In the lifestyle it is described as flying or sub-space; a natural euphoric high of neurons, hormones, and soulful dimensions. And my music lifts me and launches me there every time. Here is one of those tracks that propels me, especially at the 5:25 mark building up to the 7:08 mark…oh my frickin GOD that part puts me in a timeless oblivious place!

My favorite part of Zara’s lyrics:

Just let your fears go
You might find your way back home
Let your fears go
You might find that you’re not alone.

One of my favorite quotes I reference many times and which means so much to me is “Fear stifles, courage fulfills.” Four simple words with enormous power! Think about it. And in this case while this fantastic song plays, FEEL IT!

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The Illusion Game

Posted on March 19, 2013 by Professor Taboo

In a university laboratory a scientist is collecting data and reactions of a student wearing high-tech goggles showing him what seems to be his own blue-jeans from the waist to his white-socked feet. Right next to the student is a manikin with the same jeans and socks wired with a real-time video feed into his goggles. As the scientist uses a soft brush to rub the manikin’s left-leg the student’s left-leg is also physically rubbed with an exact same brush, the student sees through his goggles and so feels the sensation on his left-leg. All neurological connections for the test student are accurate.

The scientist then puts a large kitchen knife in front of the manikin’s camera near the manikin’s zipper. Seeing this real-time knife in his goggles, the test student’s pulse heightens and begins to race. The scientist turns the knife downward, raises it, and suddenly stabs the test student in the crotch. The test student jumps, in fact, jumps violently. What has just happened?

The power of optical illusion is far more reaching and subtle than we sometimes know; so much so that the illusions can make us react in completely unverified ways.

Bars and clubs — there are likely no better examples of optical illusions than in places that welcome or promote “attraction” between the sexes or same-sexes; gender identity or orientation is irrelevant when it comes to The Game and profits. And the online dating websites are no exception either. Does this mean “avoid at all costs?” Certainly not! What it does mean is go in with active brain-cells and no illusions. The adage “You get what you put in” is the bottom-line and that adage is so damn true in almost ANY place and circumstance, not just the bars, clubs, and dating websites.

I have come up with one of my best approach-lines ever in my 30+ years of ‘exploration’ and fun: “Do you believe in the power of optical illusions?” Nine times out of ten the answer gives me the desired result. Sometimes I’d get the answer “What, objects in your mirror appear larger than they are?” But even better, the benefit is ultimately two-way: is my first-impression a high ROI (Return on Investment), or a flop? And based on that answer the same question is extracted from the recipient: what are they there for? What kind of ROI are they seeking? Next step. The same process works just as well online too.

Do you believe in the power of illusion?

The next step after the approach-question is just as revealing: “Do you believe in the power of verbal illusions?” Same concept, varied results. And with those varied results comes a clearer picture of the subject – which in all honesty reflects you as well. Your inquiries reflect what you are after. And none of it is inherently wrong or bad as long as the two (or group) understand what is being expressed. How often do you think that happens?

In the end I think it all comes down to this: Say what you mean and do what you say. If either of these are out of sync, then you have only yourself to turn to and re-examine.

Garbage in…garbage out. Garbage outward…garbage inward. Exquisite out…exquisite in. Beauty outward… beauty inward. Get the picture? Don’t be fooled by all the optical and verbal illusions. Question everything! More precisely, question everything you put outward and you’ll understand what you are attracting. I believe they call that The Laws of Attraction?

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Despite the Risks

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Professor Taboo

Home sick today, allowing for needed reflection and solace.

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An organ of fire.

I write today not with regret or disgust, but with familiar anguish. This heavy feeling reminds me of a day in the pediatrician’s patient-room with my beloved son when he was 6-8 months old. He was to receive four immunization shots and I would have to be the one to hold him down. It was too much for his mother to bear so it fell on me…as if I had the colder stronger heart. I hated every moment, every four moments! I remember how sickened my stomach felt as we left – I wanted to hunch over.

That is how I have felt these last three days; more so at night trying to fall asleep.

When you have been taught and raised, and have learned how to do everything exceptionally well, you inevitably set yourself up for risks. If you seek quality, we naturally seek protection of that quality. If you seek perfection, then we are inherently seeking imperfection. And with rare quality, with protection, and so with perfection comes its painful costs.

Like that day at the doctor’s with my son, I must take a very mournful course.

They Flee From Me

By Sir Thomas Wyatt

They flee from me that sometime did me seek

With naked foot, stalking in my chamber.

I have seen them gentle, tame, and meek,

That now are wild and do not remember

That sometime they put themself in danger

To take bread at my hand; and now they range,

Busily seeking with a continual change.

(separation)

Thanked be fortune it hath been otherwise

Twenty times better; but times in special,

In thin array after a pleasant guise,

When her loose gown from her shoulders did fall,

And she me caught in her arms long and small;

Therewithall sweetly did me kiss

And softly said, “Dear heart, how like you this?”

(separation)

It was no dream: I lay broad waking.

But all is turned thorough my gentleness

Into a strange fashion of forsaking;

And I have leave to go of her goodness,

And she also, to use newfangleness.

But since that I so kindly am served

I would fain know what she hath deserved.

(separation)

* * * * * * * * * *

An intuitive friend of mine told me weeks ago of new beginnings with relief for me and a “sense that there is one major decision to make, and once you do actually make that decision, so very much else will follow.” How spot-on she was. Will I enjoy it? No, not at all…but I will embrace it.

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