Abraham Demands Your Skin!

No introduction is needed.  Jack Black, Michael Cera, and Hank Azaria have it covered quite well.  This is a short clip from the 2009 film “Year One“, one of my favorite comedy films though its ending was lacking.  If you haven’t rented it and you’re a fan of great parody — particularly a fan of Michael Cera — then you should crack a few ribs laughing all through this film.  Feel free to tell me which line is your favorite; I have two or three!  Enjoy…

A Gulp of Humbleness

I woke the other morning to what seemed like a typical early morning in the Texas hill country.  Part of my routine at first light is pouring a cup of freshly made hot coffee with a splash of Amaretto, in front of the kitchen windows looking out over the unusually green grass which is the well-cared for, well watered vegetation of the entire front yard and hill.  A contrast of color set against the years of long draught that has been arid southwest Texas.  As I look up through the window, I count not four deer, not six deer, but eight happily grazing on the moist St. Augustine grass.  You might think no big deal, right?  Actually, for the last two or more months decent food or vegetation for omnivores around the hill country of Texas have dwindled to all-time lows due to the long draught.  This fertile fragile Garden of Eden that I’ve worked so hard to keep up and keep alive has become a battleground between man and beast!  Well, perhaps not big nasty ferocious beasts that would slay Christians in the Roman coliseum, but very hungry Texas doe, with their young.  I am greatly outnumbered and THAT makes a great hero-warrior story like this epic!

"That 2-legger sure dances funny."

My masculine sense of protector of kingdom and castle immediately kicks in!  I grab my flip-flops quickly sliding them on with as much vengeance as the great Achilles must have felt against Troy’s best warrior Hector!  I remember that some grass spots were already eaten down to the bare roots.  This fuels more of my soldiering rage!  I’m saying to myself, “No!  HELL NO…not on my watch!”  I throw open the door and jump out.  I let out a maniacal laugh and think “Ahhhh, man one….beast ZERO!”  But my glory was short-lived, very short-lived.

I had only scared them about 25-yards away, still within a comfortable stroll back into Eden as soon as I returned inside my castle walls.  With even more determination and kingly authority, I reached down to pick up our landscaping rocks.  “I’ll show them just how serious I am AND show my Major League Baseball power and accuracy!”  Wooosh!  The rock flies to the target at lightening speed.  Silence.  Those doe’s casually look down where the rock fell, walk over and sniff it, then look back at me!  This enrages me more.  I reach down and in a span of 3-5 minutes I am hurling rock after rock after rock…and every time the same reaction:  they go over and sniff my bullets-of-fear as if I was trying TO FEED THEM!  With utter astonishment, I bow-up and say, “Alright, that’s it.  You perky little Bambi’s are going down.  This is a war of supremacy and all of you are getting it tattooed on the ass!

I throw my hands up and roar at them.  Nothing; just the look above in the picture.  I pick up two more rocks, hum them past and near their stern stubborn bodies.  They stroll over and sniff.  Now I am near wits end.  I start running straight at them with the face of any psychotic Apache or Comanche warrior — still the same ears and snouty noses.  It is not until I get about 10 yards away that the herd finally runs down the hill, and the YOUNGEST is the last to flee.  I returned to my undefended fort exhausted, huffing and puffing out of breath.  I flopped down into my throne-of-a-recliner with my now cold coffee and reflected on the battle.  It was not pretty.  Had I just been given a taste of my new evolutionary place?  Had I just been dealt a reality check on my spot in the food chain?  I cannot believe they showed me so little fear!

When enough time had passed for my reflection, I thought to myself and all the rocks I heaved at them….”Thank all Gods of War I did not have a family to feed back in my cave!

 

 
Creative Commons License
This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.

Can America Now Be Truly Brave?

LGBT supporters in France

In an unprecedented show of great unity today, the United Nations’ Human Rights Council voted 23 in favor, 19 opposed, and three abstentions passing a resolution ending all violence in the world based on sexual orientation and gender identity.  This resolution is a HUGE step toward a planet with more patience, tolerance, love, and simple human integrity — something that patriarchal Middle Eastern countries and obviously those with much more violent intolerant religious Islāmic zealots — must take heed at the risk of increased isolation from the rest of the world’s nations.  And the United States cannot by any means pretend hypocritically that they are fully onboard with the rest of the world.  America too could just as easily risk the same isolation from truly freer nations that certain Middle Eastern countries could face or have faced.  With much gratitude and excitement, here is the CNN news article…

U.N. Council Passes Gay Rights ResolutionJill Dougherty CNN Foreign Affairs

I am very curious to know what the U.S. vote was in light of the fact that here, America as a whole does not offer the pursuit of happiness to all or protect fully its own LGBT population.  Can America now be truly more brave and join the rest of the nations being highly courageous in the fight for simple human rights?  This American believes wholeheartedly it can.

Creative Commons License
This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.

A Progression of Percussion

Egyptian stone motif c. 3000 BCE

How far can time be broken down?  How many different tempos can be part of one tempo?  There may be a few viewers unable to fully appreciate this drumming journey as much as a fanatical drummer will.  Hopefully, my tribe-of-the-skins will!  Send any of your drumming friends by!  They like me, who are instantly moved from ear,  to arms, to fingers, to the heartbeat, then to the hips and finally to the feet… there is no cure for rhythmic-addiction, especially if it took hold of your body and soul at the age of six.  Don’t bother finding me a RA support group (Rhythmics Anonymous) because I am an energized kinetic-lifer!

Written in an earlier post In My Tribe, there is a spiritual connection between a drum’s membrane or the drumhead, the various sound waves it produces, and the conduit it travels to the heart, soul and the rest of the body.  Former drummer of the Grateful Dead and now a professor of percussion’s ancient roots, Micky Hart joins the greater cosmic rhythms symbiotically into our body’s natural rhythms; he describes:

We live on a planet of rhythm and time.  A planet that completes its cycle around the sun every 365 days, with a moon that cycles around us every 28 days, and we rotate around our own axis every 24 hours.  These cosmic cycles and our bodily ones, all connected to the circadian dance of day and night.  The mystery of rhythm and time found for a moment in the soul’s drum.  When it is right, you feel it with all your senses, every thread of your being.  It is the ‘sweet spot’ of connection.

As many parents do with their kids, I was enrolled in instrumental lessons of some sort; Mom named me after her favorite guitarist, so naturally I was going to learn the guitar.  But as fate would have it inside my practice room at the nearby Brook Mays Music Store, I heard the pounding of my calling next door in their practice room not mine.  Done.  Once Mom realized that she could not get me back over to the guitar, she gave in and scheduled my first drum lesson!  As a boy, the first step in becoming a percussionist is learning the basic rudiments.  Boring?  At that time yes, but in hindsight it was most assuredly the right move.  To drummers-percussionists, precise syncopated rhythms are not just important, indeed they are sacred — holy, transfusing sound pushing us to a Greater High.  By high school marching band, I was playing the Quads.  I wished our percussion line was an eighth as good as this drumline and flag corp below from Basel, Switzerland or the more laid-back Hip Hop drumline after.  Notice the near infinite various independent rhythms all simultaneously woven into one primal tempo.


More liberal and not as ‘formal’ as drum corps is the no less exquisite tempos of the drum kits and their Masters.  Growing up my Lord of Percussion was the renown Neil Peart of the Canadian rock band, Rush.  Not only is Neil a phenomenal drummer like Swiss clockwork, but an even more accomplished lyricist.  When one of my soccer teammates first introduced Rush to me, like candy or ice cream to a child,  I could not get enough!  Neil’s unworldly precision and syncopation between his two hands and two feet, all four beating out hypnotic sound, I thought “Wow, so this is what drum-heaven is like!” — to this very day La Villa Strangiato is regarded as one of Peart’s eternal creations.  The following video is not Neil Peart but another excellent drummer demonstrating the beautiful complexity of the 1978 song.  It is not the full 9:30 minute version of the song, but a highlight of the most advanced rhythms perhaps Neil ever created.  If you would like to listen to the entire song click here.  The full version has a mind-blowing amount of time changes, tempo changes, mood changes, and several music genres mixed in that would challenge Mozart’s comprehension!  But this video grabs the highlights…

Percussion is not limited to corporate designed and manufactured musical cylinders and heads.  Many everyday items lying around the home or office, inside and out can be instantly turned into a drum or percussion instrument.  Perhaps you’ve heard of The Blue Man Group or another theatrical show named Stomp.  Watch how the latter use almost anything imaginable to turn mundane objects into an industrial orchestra…

Finally, I arrive at a most aggressive form of drumming that seizes my beast-of-rhythm just as equally as drum and bugle corps shows.  I had a very difficult decision between ending this blog with my 2nd most favorite drummer, Danny Carey of the metal band Tool…or the live drum kit duel between Sulley Erna and Shannon Larkin, both of Godsmack.  Erna and Larkin won out, but needless to say searching Danny Carey of Tool on YouTube is in my drumming opinion definitely worth a look.  Not to mention that many famous drummers in jazz, blues, rock, and metal started as percussionists either in high school marching bands, or in the nationally and internationally competitive Drum & Bugle Corps championships.  Drawing the curtain on this post, I hope I have opened up a tiny view into the emotion, force, and spirit of percussion, at least as it comes from inside my soul.  Enjoy…

(paragraph separation)


Creative Commons License
This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.

Not What Was Promised!

It's a Love Extravaganza?

Monica has become a new weekly patron of the quaint Pink Elephant Pub & Grill.  She is not a runway model, but she has a glowing smile, shapely and proportioned figure, and a big heart that compliments nicely her generous natural breasts.  Socially adept Monica seems to make new friends quite easily.

She decided it was time to join the very popular online dating website eCupidsArrows.com.  Afterall, Monica’s internal clock is ticking a tad faster at 27 and her mother and older married sisters remind her of this all too often.  Besides, this website GUARANTEES LOVE on 339 different levels!  Monica thinks, “Wow!  This has to work!  It is at least worth a try for a couple of months.”

Very excited, Monica spends more and more time on the website.  Day after day she receives “match” after match of “highly potential” soul mates!  She had no idea that love was so easy, let alone so available!  In a three-week period Monica meets about 30 “perfect” partners for a drink at her now favorite bar down the street.  With heightened expectations Monica feels this one might have serious potential!  He pulls out her chair affirming her early desires.

Shortly after their first exchanges the manager-owner of The Pink Elephant approaches and politely informs Monica and her date that they will have to leave.  Both of them taken aback, Monica asks why?  “I have been a regular here for over a month!”  As firmly and discreetly as he knew how, the manger replies, “I’m sorry Ma’am, but The Pink Elephant is not a place for women-of-the-night doing business with their…. clients.”

Before Monica could finish her question, she turned to her now standing date and stood as well asking if he wanted to go somewhere else?

No Love, I will be on my way” and quickly made his exit.  Another man sitting at a nearby bar stool within earshot came over.  “Hi!  I would…” and before the suave man could continue Monica slapped his cheek and stormed out furious!

The moral of this story?  In online dating, be careful what you wish for!  — Professor Taboo wink & grin!

 

 
Creative Commons License
This work by Professor Taboo is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at https://professortaboo.wordpress.com.